Never Knew I Could Feel Like This
by The TRUE Angel of Music
Summary: A young writer unwillingly enters the Moulin Rouge, looking for inspiration. Upon being rescued by a young writer at a pub, she finds her inspiration for her writing in a love story of the Moulin Rouge that seems too magnificent to be true and begins her
1. Her Plans My Plans

**AN: **_So begins my second fanfic. Hope you all enjoy it. Please R&R. You guys make this all worthwhile. I do not own any of the characters from Moulin Rouge, although it would be beyond wonderful if I did. Special thanks to Dom Dom for introducing this site to me. _

**Chapter 1. Her Plans. My Plans.**

Uncle Harod had always seemed to frighten me.

As a child I would hide within my room upon entering the Moulin Rouge with my mother, concealed behind her long skirts whenever outside the safety of a dressing room. How his face frightened me so!

Constantly surrounded by drunks and dancers and Lord only knows the other eclectic sorts of people who wandered within the realms of such a place, the Moulin Rouge seemed to have become more of a refuge for rather sick and twisted men, and whores.

Even as a teenager, my mother would persist me to accompany her to visit Harod. How I detested now seeing the people I had grown to hate now gazing at me with this hunger that made bile raise up in my throat so that I was nearly gagging at every face I crossed paths with. Older men who seemed ripe enough to be my grandfather would gaze at me with such lust and longing that an observer would think that they were accustomed to chase after young girls who had yet to enter their womanhood.

Mother was always quite kind, manipulating her words of comfort and affection my way to bid me to follow her every whim. For was it not what every child wished to do at such an age, but to have their parents love them?

_"I do not wish to go back to that place again," I had cried upon my fifteenth year. "How the men stare at me, Mother! I cannot bear to see them silently imagining horrid things I dare not even think of. Why would you send me back there?"_

_"Your father used to go with me to visit my brother," mother wrapped her arms around me and placed her tender kisses upon my forehead. "My dearest little girl, please… you and my brother are all I have in the world. Your presences are the only bits of peace I may have in this world now that your father is dead."_

That was three years ago.

At present, I was standing before my mother's grave, dressed in a gown of gray since I did not own a piece of cloth in black, for mother found the color to be too "morbid and depressing" for her taste. My light brown hair, straight as a board and thin as paper, seemed dead and flat in comparison to the ladies who mourned with curls and ornate hairstyles that seemed unnatural yet pleasing to the eye. How drab I must appear in comparison with them.

Where my mother was a beauty, I took claim of the plainness she had lacked. My face was an ordinary one, not a bit of color except for the freckles splattered across the bridge of my nose and cheeks. My hair fell to my elbows, and the plain cut bangs that covered my forehead had me looking like a misplaced schoolgirl who had not hit her teens quite yet.

Upon these crying women's words of condolence and the utterence ofmy age, they had stared at my blankly, as if awaiting me to let out some gregarious laugh and refute my previous statement. A small smile swept over my face upon telling them my birthday and how I had turned eighteen not more than a few weeks ago.

"A pity she could not have another child," I had heard the women conversing later when they considered me out of earshot.

"What a daughter… as dull as a washboard."

"And not an ounce of pride in her appearance!"

"You would think her mother might try to fancy her up a tad bit more."

"Or at least do something to that hair."

"Her face needs a mite of color."

"Her clothes do no justice to her figure."

"That is, if she has one."

Grasping the end of my shawl, I put my hood on to cover up my dullness and walked off only to be approached by Harod.

"My dear child," his overall enthusiasm was false, and seemed far too practiced. "Your mother specified that, upon her death, you were to come live with me."

"I am eighteen, Uncle." I replied monotonously. "I am my own person, and quite capable to live on my own, mind you."

"I do not doubt it, my dear." I could feel my hands going into fists as he continued on. "You are, with no doubt, a very… capable… young lady. But your mother's will says that you shall live with me until your twentieth year. In the Moulin Rouge."

"I would rather die then go back there," I frowned. "No doubt she requested such a thing because she knew I would soon accompany her to death than step foot back there."

"You shall be treated as a queen," Harod promised. "Your mother knows I have the finances to give you the life she could not provide. I have connections with people of high authority."

"Although I am sure the foundations of such connections can surely not be that respectable."

"I could turn you into a lady." He suggested. "Would you not want young men to look at you with longing? To lust after you? To offer you jewels and riches and all your desires?"

"It would not seem such a dreadful thing if the basis of it all was not so derogatory." I replied. "They would only be offering me such trifles for the wrong reasons. No good can come from the Moulin Rouge."

"My child, it was your mother's dying wish!"

"My mother knew quite well I would be unable to accept such a request."

"She had plans for you…"

"Plans she did not share with me. I have plans of my own."

"Plans for marriage!"

"With unruly men who would no doubt continue going to the Moulin Rouge even _after_ we wed."

"Why do you think she persisted in visiting me!" Harod seized my arms and pulled me close, and I knew a dramatization was going to await me. "We have been making plans for _years_ to have you wed to some duke or aristocrat or high ranking official. Whenever we met we would view all your possible choices, and we came down to one."

"It is nice you are both concerned with my future, but as I have already told you, I have my own plans, thank you."

"Your mother wanted you married before your twentieth birthday!"

"I am tired of following mother's wishes. It is my life I am living. Not hers."

"She already had the fellow picked out."

"She wasted her time."

"He has plans to visit the Moulin Rouge during your nineteenth birthday."

"Then you have a year to contact him and cancel the gathering."

"Can you not even _consider_ the proposal?"

"I am quite content living where I am, Harod. I do not need your plans, or my mother's, to secure my future at hand."

"You have _nothing_!"

"I have more than you think. Where do you think my mother and me went to after every disgraceful visit to the Moulin Rouge? It was not as if we entered the streets all those years."

"Your mother lost everything," Harod informed me. "All you own was because I paid for it. Your home. Your belongings. They are all gone. There is nothing left. If you do not go with me to the Moulin Rouge, you _will _be living on the streets.

I had plans to be a writer.

All my life, I found refuge within books. I would hide in dark corners and listen in on the tales of ladies' affairs and their dreams to someday leave the Moulin Rouge and amount to something. I would take a pen from Harod's office and scrawl upon pamphlets or menus or any piece of paper I might find. Old envelopes that were once filled with bribes or love letters and empty promises would now be used to write my own stories of leaving Paris to travel the world and write. I would spin elaborate portraits that possessed all the beauty I lacked in myself and the world that surrounded me.

The room Harod gave to me was at the top of the Moulin Rouge, and must have once been a dressing room for some performer that overlooked the stage. A small bed, more of a cot, rested in the corner beside a dilapidated table and chair. The small window that gave view to the stage sat in front of the foot of my bed, and next to that was a bureau and mirror that had a chipped corner. Under my bed, I found a pair of old stockings and a hanger. Opening the bureau, I found only an old stage dress, more dust than fabric.

"It shall be a miracle if I can find inspiration within this room." I sighed and sat on the bed, which dipped in at my weight and let out this enigmatic crunch that had me worried it would soon break in half.

Incapable to discover an ounce of good in the future offered by such a life that Harod presented me, I gave my coat a hitch and headed outdoors.

Even the darkness of the night seemed more promising.


	2. Inspiration in a Pub

**Chapter 2. Inspiration in a pub**

Darkness seized hold of Paris, and yet I continued to roam throughout the streets. The welcoming grins of darkened figures and the not-so-welcome snarls of others seemed far more agreeable than that of the folk of the Moulin Rouge.

"A bit of gin for the missus?" a burly figure snickered. "How 'bout a night under my roof, eh?"

His coarse language and diacritic repulsed me, but I pursued on with my head held high. Why my mother had desired me to spend the next two years in the Moulin Rouge with Uncle Harod, I shall never understand. Certainly the characters were not beneficiary to the likes of an eighteen-year-old girl. And how could an aspiring writer find her inspiration among a city of such horrid inhabitants and immoral values?

Pulling my hood up at last when I heard whistling directed my way, I felt far safer now with me caught in the shadows of my hood and jacket. I grinned to myself at how the weather had almost appeared to sense the fact I had sheltered myself, and rain began to fall. When thunder arrived, blending in with the pandemonium that surrounded me, I sought refuge in a bar where men were singing ridiculous songs half slurred in their drunken speech.

Even with my back turned and my hood obstructing my view from all in the bar, I could hear some of them laughing and pointing at me.

"Buy the mademoiselle a drink," a man suggested.

"I'm betting she might not find the likes of any of us to be that satisfying," one remarked.

"Only one way to find out." all of the men laughed and I heard the movement of chairs as their stomps headed my way.

"How about a drink to warm you up?"

I was spun around by a pair of brawny arms that had me facing a robust fellow with yellow teeth, an overly large nose, and a beard that seemed to have creatures living within it. His breath smelled of alcohol and I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"I can suggest… other… ways to warm you up, perhaps?" he raised an eyebrow and the men laughed once more.

"Were you men never taught the appropriate way to treat a lady, Monsieur?" I questioned before slapping his across the face.

At my bit of boldness, two men grabbed me and I began thrashing back and forth, flailing my legs and shouting. Everyone's attention now turned towards what was occurring between me and these madmen, but no one stepped forward to take charge. Infuriated, I tossed my head back and forth and screamed.

"What do we have here?"

The man who had given me an atrocious offer stepped forward and seized my chin in his hand. Setting a hand upon my hood with his free hand, he yanked it down and I saw his eyes go wide at my youthful face, blotched with freckles and red from the cold. Trying to maintain my anger without allowing mortification to claim me, I set my jaw firmly and glared at him with all the loathing I could render from within me.

"She is only a small mademoiselle," a man commented.

"Barely out of her crib."

"Then I shall send her to her mother with a lesson well made," he raised his hand in the air. "You _never_ go into a bar alone at night and not expect to run into trouble."

At first, I had not felt his blow to my face. It was not until the second or third that a fierce burning took over and I could feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes. Biting my lip, I shook my head, refusing to give into my tears and cry.

"Maybe she is not so much of a child," and with that being said, the man threw me against the counter and pressed his body against mine.

"You are disgusting," I said nastily.

"And you are sweet as candy for a babe," the man grinned. "Or I shall find out soon."

Closing my eyes to await what would happen next, I soon opened them to find the man a few feet apart from myself, walking away.

In front of me lay a man that must be within his early twenties. His hair was longish compared to the clean-cut style that was prominent within the streets of Paris. Eyes that sang with their own melody of melancholy and… joy… stared at me, and I found myself blushing despite the fact I knew his gaze was certainly not one of affection or coyness. The absurdity of such a handsome fellow finding such a creature as myself attractive was a laughing matter.

"Come," he locked arms with me and dragged me out of the pub, his other arm up to shield the oncoming rain over his head. "A place of drunks is no place for a girl."

"You look not that much older than I," I shot back, placing my hood up to give me my sense of security back. "Why… you could not be a day older than twenty!"

"Twenty-two if we must be exact," he fired right at me, giving me a side-glance that made my heart leap. "So it perfectly fine if I prefer the company of drunks over that of all else."

"It is not as if the company where I am from is much better," I pulled my arm free. "I am perfectly able to conduct myself, I assure you."

"By all means, you proved your point only a few minutes ago." he held his hands out innocently and then smiled. "Although, from the glare you gave those men, I felt quite sorry for the fellows. It seemed it was they that might be in need of assistance."

"I can mend for myself," I found myself bringing my head up in the haughty fashion I was incapable of diminishing. "Besides, I find such tribulations just the kind of excitement I need. Life where I'm from very rarely provides me with such happenings, and being a writer…"

"I am a writer myself," the man interrupted with a grin that quickly vanished. "Although I have recently lost my inspiration in my writing. In all I do…"

"Which is why I am out here," I nodded, understanding his circumstances quite well. "I am in considerable need for inspiration."

"What kind of inspiration are you looking for?"

"Is there more than one kind?" I asked, stumped at his inquiry.

"I suppose there is."

"Any kind of inspiration sounds quite nice to me."

"Perhaps I might take you around to search for inspiration?"

"I would like that."

I cringed, knowing I would much rather stand here and contemplate sweeping away the locks of hair that had fallen, dripping with rain, over part of his forehead.

"What kind of inspiration do you seek?"

"_My _inspiration?" it was apparent my question had caught him off balance, for he lost way with his eloquent speech pattern and stumbled for words. "My muse… was lost. It was…well… it was not something that I can easily…explain… love… that is… she… we…"

"_She?_" I let out a giggle, finding it an uproarious statement that a woman was what had him in such a ruffled state. "No need to turn crimson. It is not such an imbroglio, and I understand."

"You could not possibly… she…" he trailed off, and hurt took possession of his face.

"You do not have to explain," I set a hand on his shoulder and took a step back in embarrassment for acting so easily with a man whose name I had yet to know. "I am sorry. I did not mean to… we have not even introduced each other."

"Oh yes," he ran a hand through his hair and laughed. "What is your name, kind lady?"

"Isabel," I smiled at my name, glad one bit of myself might seem elegant. "And whatever is your name, kind sir?"

"I do not think I am quite ready to share that yet…"

"Not ready?" I raised an eyebrow. "And how shall I know where to find you, if ever I feel like I'd like to find my inspiration?"

"You only need to ask Toulouse." he lowered his gaze with a half-smile, as if relishing an old memory. "He will show you where to find the writer."

"And how may I find Toulouse? How do I know you will not go gallivanting off into the wilderness and I shall never see you again?" I was soon grinning airily at how our conversation had turned to such a blithe fraternization.

"Wherever you go. Whatever you do. I will be right here waiting for you." (1)

My mouth dropped down at his melodious voice that sang those words of encouragement to me, and I was relieved my hood sheltered my expression from him, for I know not if he should take me seriously were he to see my expression.

"Goodnight, Isabel."

With that being said, the mysterious figure did a movement as if tipping a hat and walked of, humming a tune with the voice that had me closing my eyes and wishing to fly away to a cloud and listen to such music for the rest of my life.

There was no doubt I would have no problem with inspiration anymore.

I only needed to find this Toulouse.


	3. Stairway To Heaven

**Chapter 3. Stairway To Heaven**

The next few days were spent in a pursuit for Toulouse and, in the end, it was _he_ who ended up finding me.

Harod had hired a seamstress to put together a few dresses in a feeble attempt to win me over. Much to his dismay, rather than demanding lace and silk like most girls, I had called for the woman to put together some gowns I had seen a band of gypsies wearing. In a lavender dress full of beads and ribbons, with a purple satin sheer used as a bandana in my hair, I found much satisfaction in seeing my Uncle's face look at me in ambivalence, not knowing if he should take my audacity with anger or benevolence.

"An unusual demand," the lady remarked as I twirled before my cracked mirror, admiring the handiwork of my new bronze-tinted cape and hood. "But you look mighty becoming in the gown, mademoiselle."

"A regular heathen, I shall be." I giggled, a newly emerged habit that arose after meeting the enigmatic writer. "Won't everyone find me utterly _appalling_?"

"Isabel?"

I turned to meet the face of a rather small man dressed in outrageously large pants. His face seemed affable, and his eyes grinned with an amiable grace behind glasses.

"I once played part in a performance involving gypsies," he commented, referring to my outfit. "Are you the writer, my petite?"

"Indeed, I am."

"I am Toulouse," he bowed. "The _other_ writer sent me."

"Oh yes," I grabbed his hands, dragging him out of my room and closing the door that imprisoned the seamstress within. "You _must_ take me to him. Why he… just _look _at what he has done to me!"

"I find nothing wrong."

"_Exactly_."

"Your honesty is becoming," Toulouse laughed buoyantly. "I can see why he likes you."

"He said you would take me to him."

"And I shall."

"Might you take me now?"

"In that, my petite?"

"_Oui_," I nodded. "Now may I see the _l'écrivain_?"

"Yes. Yes. Follow me!"

Instantaneously, I grew to like Toulouse. His good nature and blithe personality had me laughing the whole way through the streets and alleys. So caught up in my laughter, I was oblivious to the fact we had emerged into the nadir of the city.

"In here, my petite." Toulouse directed my attention to a ramshackle home that had a stained blanket hanging over entrance where a door should have stood. "He is waiting for you in here."

I found my écrivain sitting before a hearth that still had smoke emanating from a dying fire. Sitting upon a stool with a typewriter resting on his knees, he stared at the keys intently and looked up only when I made my presence known by tripping on an old jacket that lay on the floor for dirt to claim.

"Isabel she treads so lightly, floating in her gypsy dresses," he sang with a smile. (1)

"You are a _ridicule oie,_" I laughed.

"Even though her words cut deep I can't deny the truth in them," he continued his song before I attempted to make him cease his teasing.

"Stop!" I walked over. "I have not seen you in days and all you have to say to me are your farcical songs."

"She says stand up, she says to hop,  
She says to stretch, she says to stop.  
She says to turn, she says to bend,  
She says to dance, now wave to your friend.  
She tells me please, bend your knees,  
Sit down on the floor, and sing it some more.  
La la la la. . ." (2)

"All your words are going nowhere, nowhere. They only fall into the burning flames." (3) I whispered softly, cringing at how dull in comparison my humdrum voice was to his.

"My thoughts exactly," he stood up, setting his typewriter upon the stool and grabbing my hands. "Are you ready for some inspiration, _mon doux_?"

"As ready as I will ever be, I suppose." I felt my heart swelling at his attempt of French through his English accent.

"What inspiration do you have for me today, _monsieur_?" I questioned as we ran hand-in-hand, much to my delight, down the paved streets of Paris to the country beyond.

"I plan to show you The Great Wall," he answered.

"Why, did it never occur to you that The Great Wall is in China?" I guffawed. "I know we are moving at quite a fast rate, but I do not think we shall make it to China by the end of the day."

"It is just around the corner!"

Passing through a small passing of trees, the dirt road came to an end by a large wrought-iron gate. Walls that were well over fifteen feet high stood before us, carved out of large blocks of stone. The gate allowed view of a large mansion that seemed grand even in the distance we stood from it. There was no doubt that this place stood on acres upon acres of land.

"And to think that there was a place like this so near to Paris," I breathed.

"This way, my lady."

Holding out his hand, I followed until he led me into the sea of trees that surrounded the vast property before us. Contorting my body positions between the closely growing trees, we came to a pass where I turned and found myself standing alone. Lost and bemused, I stirred out of my world of perplexion only when a stick was thrust down upon my head.

"You know that hurts!" I hollered from where my offender sat atop a tree branch.

"Come now!"

"Up?"

"Whatever way is there to go?"

"How did you go up there?"

"I climbed, of course!"

With that being said, he stood up, placed a hand upon the trunk of the tree and moved across the trees by their branches. So large and colossal were these trees that the branches were not flexible and did not sway with his weight. After what seemed like hours of climbing this way and that to make it at the same level as him, I stood up and hugged the tree in fear of falling.

"Come across now," he sat atop the great wall, one leg dangling over the edge.

"I cannot."

"Why?"

"I am afraid of heights."

"_Afraid_ of heights?" he laughed. "How do you expect to get to heaven on that accord?"

"I…I… do not know."

"Then conquer your fear now, before it is too late!"

"The wall seems less likely to fall down from my weight…"

"There's a lady who's sure.

All that glitters is gold.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven." (4)

He sang out as I moved across the trees, locking my eyes into his to assure I would not look down. For although the branches appeared to not mold with my presence upon them, I could feel each one giving way to my weight.

"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow  
Don't be alarmed now,  
It's just a spring clean for the may queen.  
Yes, there are two paths you can go by  
But in the long run  
There's still time to change the road you're on.  
And it makes me wonder.  
Your head is humming and it won't go  
In case you don't know,  
The piper's calling you to join him,  
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,  
And did you know  
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.  
And as we wind on down the road  
Our shadows taller than our soul.  
There walks a lady we all know  
Who shines white light and wants to show  
How ev'rything still turns to gold.  
And if you listen very hard  
The tune will come to you at last.  
When all are one and one is all  
To be a rock and not to roll.  
And she's buying a stairway to heaven."

"Might you sing your ridiculous songs later?" I suggested. "Perhaps when I've made it all the way across?"

"When she gets there she knows

If the stores are all closed

With a word she can get what she came for

Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven."

"Heaven?" I laughed, tossing my head back and near falling with the last step onto the wall.

Grabbing hold of me by the arms, he pulled me firmly beside him, until we were standing but an inch away. Going crimson, I lowered my gaze, knowing well whatever fantasies might be floating about in my head was unlikely to occur. Lowering his hands from my arms, they went to my face, turning my head up to look at him.

"Isabel she treads so lightly, floating in her gypsy dresses."

"Might you stop teasing me for one moment!"

I broke from his hold and looked out at the land before me. The wall could be seen in the distance, a mere line that was more horizon than stone. Holding my breath, I closed my eyes, feeling the sun upon my skin for the first time. Never had I relished such things before, and I found myself lowering my hood and tossing back my hair, no longer desiring to bask within my shadows.

"One day I'll fly away. Leave all this to yesterday. Why live life from dream to dream. And dread the day when dreaming ends." (5) I held out my arms shouting out the words, completely carefree that I was probably singing off key with my painstakingly horrid voice, picturing myself lifting off of the wall and flying to the horizon that was the wall opposite of where I stood. "One day I'll fly away. Fly, fly away."

Even beyond my notes of flying away to unknown horizons, I could hear the unnamed man beside me breathing shakily. When he turned aside and lowered his head to hide his tears, I did not notice until he was bent over the edge of the wall sobbing.

"Satine…"

The name meant nothing to me. Never in my life had I heard mention of it. But in that instance when I had heard that one sacred word pass his lips as if he were speaking of some unimaginable treasure, I knew that a new wall had decided to enter my life.

A larger, taller wall than the one on which I stood. And this time, there would be no trees to help me up. No mysterious, enthralling man guiding me across with his voice to compete with the angels.

But he was the only one who could demolish the wall.

Only I was to be the one to approach it, and that was a task I was more afraid of than anything else.

1. Ben Jelen "Falling Down"

2. Bonnie Lockhart "My Friend The Drum"

3. Cadet "Blame"

4. Led Zeppelin "Stairway to Heaven"

5. Nicole Kidman "One day I'll Fly Away"


	4. Still hers

**Chapter 4. Still Hers…**

She was only a girl.

Probably not even twenty yet, but she had the fight of a lion. I could tell that night at the pub when her eyes were filled with flames, challenging all who might cross her path. Maybe that was what made me step in between the man and her, slip the man a bill to buy another drink, and sent this girl on her merry way.

But when she had said she was a writer… when she had asked me for _my_ inspiration. The girl had enough gall within her being, though it may seem she could fit behind a stick of bamboo and be completely concealed.

She was not gorgeous. There was no color to her, no curves one might see through her outfit, and no glorious voice to match that of my angel, yet she possessed her own beauty. I knew not what it was quite yet, but there _was_ something within her that intrigued me, which was why I offered to see her again.

How her face had lit up at my suggestion, shown even within the shadows of that hood that hid her face from the world. It had put a smile to my face and given me a warmth I had not felt in so long, it was almost foreign to me.

"Wherever you go. Whatever you do. I will be right here waiting for you."

I had not meant to go and sing for her. Very rarely did I allow myself the pleasures of singing a tune for anyone, even myself, that I was just as dumbfounded as she when I heard my own voice leave my lips. I had not wanted to sing in ages… months… weeks… there was no point. My heart no longer sang its melody that my voice would accompany. My heart had died when Satine's had given up.

Then I had gone home that night and for the first time since I finished my own love story, I was able to write again. The words flowed out of me as easily as breathing might for anyone, and the next few days were spent on a stool with my typewriter, spinning tales and adventures like never before.

Maybe that was why I sent Toulouse out in pursuit of this girl. There was something about her which brought out the man I used to be, and I truly felt that I might have something worth living for once again. When she had entered my new refuge, tripping over my jacket in a lavender gypsy gown, the words that came spilled out before I could even think.

Expecting her to shout at me, curse me, glare at me with the same flames she sent those men at the pub, I was astonished when she had only laughed at me, calling me a ridiculous goose. The girl before me did not seem half as harsh, but rather possessing a elated, jovial aura about her, much different than who I had met a few days previous. But that only drew me to her more…

I did not know why I called her to me that day, nor did I know what I had planned. When I had her laughing and racing behind me as we left the city into the country, I felt I could run forever like this with her by my side. Her laughter was the sweetest melody I had heard in years.

The Great Wall indeed! I had never shown anyone that before. Toulouse and me had passed by it during an escapade around France, in an attempt to give me inspiration to write when I had lost it. When we had approached what I had deemed The Great Wall, I had suddenly seen it in new light. Sitting atop it now, it had a new beauty I had failed to notice before.

She had almost fallen. Grabbing her at the last moment, I could feel her going hot with mortification. I could not restrain myself when I released her arms and grabbed her face to stare at me. I wanted to explain myself, to tell her my name, to tell her everything, but I could only sing my new song for her, at which she grew frustrated with my "teasing".

Her voice! It was like a girl's. Nothing in comparison with some voices I had heard… my angel's… but her crisp tone, still high like a child's, was more pleasant to me than the scene before me on top of this wall in the country.

Satine's song… it would not have killed me half as much if she had sang any other song. But for her to go and use Satine's words… her dreams woven deep within the lyrics… I could not bear it. Satine was my everything, and the girl's song was a reminder that I was still Satine's.

And I always would be.


	5. The Sparkling Diamond's Story

**Chapter 5. The Sparkling Diamond's Story**

"And this, my dear, is The Sparkling Diamond." Harod held out his hands to present the woman before me.

Long legs, blonde hair that was fair enough to be white, and far too much make-up, the lady looked the part of the courtesans that worked for my uncle. Dressed in an outrageous gown that glittered and left nothing to the viewer's imagination, she let out a smile as white as her hair and fluttered her eyes.

"She shall show you all there is to know about being a lady."

"Her?" I laughed. "You will have a woman accustomed to being various men's mistress, teach me how to become a lady?"

"Pardon me," she stepped in, a defensive look upon her face. "This is what I do to survive, mademoiselle. It is not an honorable job, but it is a job nonetheless. I am still a lady."

"Of course," I smiled. "So am I."

"I will let you… ladies… get to know one another."

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"And Harod expects a girl a year older than I to somehow teach me to become a lady?"

"I needed to go somewhere no one could find me," the girl shrugged. "My parents wanted me to wed some man and he was just _unbearable_. The Moulin Rouge is the last place they would look for me."

"So you didn't willingly want to go here? It was just a last resort?"

"What woman willingly wishes to play the part of a whore?"

"What do you suggest I do?" I sat down atop my bed. "I am not in the least bit enthusiastic about being taught to be a lady only to my uncle's satisfaction. I have no plans to follow his wishes and marry some ridiculous man I have never met. I have my own dreams."

"Don't we all?" The Sparkling Diamond laughed and sat beside me. "Women aren't valued, my dear. We are only as good as the men who will have us, and doesn't that put us in an awkward position? The man my parents are forcing upon me is quite wealthy. Noble family. Great title. Gorgeous home with servants that would do everything for me. But the fellow is such a _dud_. I could never imagine sitting through a day with him. We have nothing in common! Nothing to talk about. I would die of boredom before the end of our wedding night!"

"At least he isn't horrid," I reminded. "I mean, he could be some horrendous, unfeeling oaf of a man who gambled or drank too much or…"

"Edmund doesn't have the gall to do any of those things," she shook her head. "Corpses are more livelier than he. I want romance. And adventure. Passion. Beauty. Love."

"Find yourself some Bohemian artist, and you shall be fine. There are plenty in Paris, as we all know quite well enough."

"My parents would never approve," she answered. "Which was why I ran away. I hope that if I leave home long enough, I might encounter someone of the sort and he shall take me away."

"And you think you will find that person in the _Moulin Rouge_?"

"Why, yes, I do."

"But _why_?"

"Have you not heard of the love stories?" she questioned. "A story of truth, beauty, freedom, and love. It is the greatest love story I have ever heard. And it all took place within the Moulin Rouge."

"I cannot imagine any true love coming from this place."

"Oh, but there was one!" she scooted closer, enthralled in an unspoken story. "The girl was Harod's star. Gorgeous beyond words. She could manipulate men into doing _anything_. She was known as The Sparkling Diamond."

"Am I in for a story, then?"

"Yes, but it shall be worth it. And it is quite a long one, so I will only be able to tell you so much each time we meet. This young girl had everything going for her. Harod had it all arranged. She was to marry the duke, a rather presumptuous fellow, if you must, but he was wealthy and could give her everything she ever dreamed of. Little did she know of the love she would soon encounter. Greater than anything she had ever experienced before. And the sickness that would come and end it all…"

So began the story of The Sparkling Diamond. Every day since, she would come, and while dressing me up, in-between her lessons of propriety and curling my hair, slipping me into corsets, and all other so-called luxuries us women must undergo, I would hear further tales of this Sparkling Diamond and the young man who stepped into her life.

Was it no wonder that I began anticipating her visits and soon forgot of the young writer who had first given me inspiration? For certainly this story of truth, beauty, freedom, and love provided me with more inspiration than anything that writer had or ever could do.

"They fell in love, didn't they?" I inquired as we walked down the streets, pretending to ignore the hoots of approval from male passerby behind our parasols and curls.

"I wouldn't call it a love story if they didn't, now would I?" Cecille giggled and waved at a man who had ran into a woman pouring coffee for a couple at a café.

"Imagine someone singing such a song to you," I let out a deep breath, relishing the words before singing them out. "I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. That I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world." (1)

"Isabel?"

My song came to an end when Cecille and I crossed paths with a young man who gazed at us like a deer in the headlights, or… perhaps… more like a kid in a candy store. In a tattered jacket I had tripped over only a week or so ago.

1. Elton John "Your Song"


	6. Being A Lady

**Chapter 6. Being A Lady**

"Are you the same girl?"

Hidden behind a spectrum of color upon my face, a head full of curls and ribbons, and a silk gown that accentuated curves that Cecille's new corset provided me with, I looked like a stranger even to myself. Cecille had pinned back my bangs to open up my face, and I suddenly felt completely exposed to the world without the feeling of my bangs brushing my forehead and my hood moving with the wind.

For several days I had forgotten of my new appearance, but suddenly seeing this man stare at me with bewilderment, I wished to hide deep within my cape once more. Only it was now gathering dust within my bureau.

"I suppose I am," I replied softly when Cecille had walked away to flirt with a group of men that whistled upon her entrance. "My Uncle… he wanted me… to be more… presentable. More like a lady. Less of a girl."

"Is that what you want?" he questioned in just as soft of a tone. "To be a… lady?"

"I would not mind being a lady," I lowered my gaze, wanting to escape his eyes. "But… not like this. I feel like I'm a doll on display. I do not enjoy being so dressed up. But that is what my instructor has advised me to do. And I value her opinion immensely and respect her to a deep extent."

"There is no doubt you look gorgeous," he muttered, blushing suddenly.

"You are not the first to think so," I giggled. "No need to get so crimson, you know. I am still the same, I assure you."

"Don't go changing, to try and please me. You never let me down before. Mmmm…mmmm.." (1)

"Any more inspiration for me, monsieur?"

"Still in need of inspiration?"

"Always could use more," I shrugged, fighting the need to shriek with how I was able to pull of this coy behavior. "You still willing to help me?"

"You just call out my name  
And you know wherever I am  
I'll come runnin'  
To see you again  
Winter, spring, summer or fall  
All you have to do is call  
And I'll be there  
You've got a friend." (2)

"I was hoping you might say that," I grinned at his song and the sound of his breathtaking voice. "You know… I was wondering… perhaps sometime we both might meet and discuss our writing. Surely us writers can find something to converse about over supper. Nothing fancy, mind you, I'm as poor as a church mouse, but just a night with you and me." I took a step back, realizing what I had just done. "Oh… no… you don't have to. I'm so sorry, monsieur. I got carried away. I shouldn't have done that. Ooooh… I am so dreadfully sorry. That was out of my place."

"I would not mind," he smiled, running a hand through his hair. "But I… I have not been… out… in awhile. I apologize ahead of time."

"Just a friendly gathering… friend." I put a hand to my forehead at my redundancy. "I should really go… before I sound more of a fool. I shouldn't have said that."

"Where might… I… meet… you?" he stumbled across the words, as if he were practicing them for the first time.

"I'll just go where Toulouse took me," I shrugged. "I was the one who devised this little meeting anyway. It is no trouble."

"No trouble at all?"

"Not at all. It is, in fact, quite a pleasure indeed."

"When should we schedule this…meeting… of ours?"

"How about in… a few weeks?"

"Weeks?"

"My instructor still has much to teach me before I become a polished lady. I would not want to go out being anything less than a lady, if you would not mind waiting, that is."

"I am sure it shall be worth the wait."

"You are too kind…" my voice faltered at his flattering words. No doubt used to make me feel better for my unruly behavior.

_A pleasure? _

_The girl had most certainly undergone much change during the span of our last meeting. She looked ridiculous, it was true, but in a way that made me want to laugh and pat her on the head like a girl who had done something foolish. Behind the gorgeous mask she wore, she was still the young girl I knew her to be, and it was apparent in how wide her eyes went at my comments on her appearance. _

_She was not used to be so flattered._

_I could easily fix that though…_

_And then she had gone and asked me out. Quite a forward move on her part, and if she had done such a thing to any other man, she might have been taken advantage of. But I had no such intentions with her. _

_She was far too young… _

_"I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. That I put down in words. How wonderful life is while your in the world."_

_Where did she hear that song? Only a limited number of people knew those words… meant for only one person. It was no wonder I stopped in my tracks upon hearing her singing my song… Satine's song… _her_ song._

_"Did you see Isabel lately, Christian?" Toulouse entered to find me sitting before my typewriter, a sight he has grown quite accustomed to lately. _

_"Yes, I have."_

_"She is… she… looks… _magnificent_!" _

_"She looks the role of a girl playing an older woman."_

_"And won the lead role!" Toulouse laughed and stopped at the silence that answered him. "Do you not agree?"_

_"Isabel asked me to dinner in a few weeks."_

_"Why… that is splendid!" Toulouse clapped his hands. "You and her. What a pair! It shall be like old times again, Christian!"_

_"No… it will _not _be like old times."_

_"But…"_

_"Isabel is a child, Toulouse."_

_"A child! Christian, she is not that much younger than you."_

_"She is four years…"_

_"Satine was only three years older."_

_"Do not mention her to me!" I lowered my head, feeling the sadness possess me once more. "She is bringing it all back to me again, Toulouse."_

_"And what is bad with that?"_

_"Satine is dead."_

_"That is only one memory among many," Toulouse reminded. "You have many other memories together, Christian. Do not let that one sad one make you forget all of the others."_

_"I do not think I could love again…"_

_"You might try."_

_"She will never compare to Satine. No one can."_

_"You should not expect her to. It would not be fair for either of you."_

_"I am going to help her with her writing. That is all. She is nothing besides that. A friend, at the most."_

_"It seems she has helped you with your writing as well. I have not seen you writing in so long. Since you finished your story."_

_"It was _our _story, Toulouse. Satine's story."_

_"And you will never let me forget that."_

"I could never impress him," I sighed at my reflection. "I am far too plain. A mess of bones, colorless skin, and too many freckles. I seemed more fit in a crib than a man's arms. Why should he think any different?"

"Because you look gorgeous," Cecille pulled back my bangs with a flower pin of crystals. "And I did not spend the past few hours doing nothing. Your hair looks lovely with all those curls. Your face _does _have color, thanks to a few dabs of blush here and there. Your figure begs to differ with that crib remark. Your white gown makes you look like a bride awaiting her husband. I do not think you could look any better."

"What if he thinks I am too fancy?"

"I have never heard a man complain of that before. I wouldn't worry about it."

"I do not look the same," I replied. "He might think I am trying rather hard to look pleasing."

"And you succeeded," Cecille rested her head on my shoulder and laughed. "Do not worry about it, mademoiselle. Men are flattered by these things. He shall feel especially high about himself to know a woman such as yourself is putting forward such effort for him."

"What is he thinks I am…"

"Don't worry about it." Cecille handed me a bag and pushed me out of my room. "You're gorgeous. You're ready. And you're going to have this fellow head over heels by the end of the night. Nothing else to think about really. There's the truth for you, honey."

"But…"

"Just believe me on this one," Cecille smiled and motioned for me to leave for my date.

1. Billy Joel "Just the way you are"

2. James Taylor "You've Got A Friend"


	7. The First Chip Of The Wall

_Thank you so much to the readers. The few there are. You guys keep me going. Please review and tell me what you guys think. Suggestions. Criticisms. I'm all up for anything._

**Chapter 7. The First Chip Of The Wall**

"Hello?" I feared to knock, not because I was unsure that no one would answer, but because there was no door to knock upon. "Is anyone here?"

"Come in!"

"Are you ready?" I entered to find him fumbling with a tie, his face red with frustration.

"So sad her eyes  
Smiling dark eyes  
So sad her eyes  
As it began  
On such a breathless night as this  
Upon my brow the lightest kiss  
I walked alone  
And all around the air did say  
My lady soon will stir this way  
In sorrow known  
The white queen walks and  
The night grows pale  
Stars of loving mess in her hair." (1)

He sang at my sight, forgetting his tie that hung still around his neck limply. Smiling to contain my laughs, I entered his home and clasped my hands together, remembering to stand straight and keep my head up without holding any snobbish airs.

"Need help with that?" I directed his attention to the tie.

"Do you know how?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't, now would I?" I laughed and perfected the act for him. "I've seen numerous men do it back at the… at home."

"Really?" he grinned. "You must show me sometime when it is imperative to tie a tie."

"Is tonight not so important?" I questioned coquettish.

"Why would I need to know tonight, when I have you to do it?" he inquired playfully. "It seems you possess quite… inimitable… skills, my dear."

"I wouldn't go as far as to say that…" I blushed.

"That is why you have me to say so."

"Must you treat me like some prima donna?" I asked, getting rather annoyed at his stares and smug expressions.

"You sure look the part."

"Can a lady try to look her best without being jested at?"

"I would not deny you look your best."

"That is it!"

Without another word said, I gathered up my skirts and ran out, being sure not to trip upon another jacket of his. Past the buildings I ran, my hair falling out of the curls and becoming tangled. When I reached my destination, I set my jaw in a fine line, ready to bear the mortification that was sure to come after I…

"Isabel!" his eyes went wide when I dove into the public wash-pool that was filled with frigid, bone-wrenching cold water. "What are you thinking?"

Tossing back my hair and running my hands over it, I beamed at him, awaiting to see him stare at me in disgust upon the make-up that ran down my face and the tangled mess of hair that seemed more apt to be a jungle ofknotsthan much of anything else.

"Do I look my best _now_?"

Silence only replied to my question.

Dropping my gaze when his passive expression did not alter, I did not stir for a few minutes until I heard a large splash beside me and looked up to see him staring at me, his wet hair plastered over his eyes.

"You look ridiculous," I commented with a laugh, brushing aside the hair that covered his mesmerizing eyes from my view. "Better now."

"Much better," he grinned. "Might I make you a bit better as well?"

"You'll be here for a long time…"

"Not really," he set a hand upon my cheek, and wiped away the remains of my make-up. "There… much better."

"I doubt it."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because no amount of make-up or curls or fancy attire shall hide my plainness. My lack of beauty."

"You look your best, _now_." He looked at my eyes, a question hanging between both of us.

"Would you dance if I asked you to dance?

Would you run and never look back?

Would you cry if you saw me crying?

Would you save my soul tonight?" (2)

I sang with wonder and trepidation. My heart pounded in my head, a drumming louder than the sound of my voice that sang in such a soft tone, as if whispering a forbidden secret. Perhaps, deep down, I was.

"Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh?

Oh please tell me this.

Would you die for the one you love?

Hold me in your arms, tonight." (2)

My words hung in the air, intoxicating me with apprehension for whatever would come. He stirred and removed his hand, setting both atop my shoulders and bearing down upon me with those eyes. Eyes I could stare at all night. All week. Maybe forever.

"You're my piece of mind, in this crazy world  
You're every thing I've tried to find  
Your love is a pearl  
You're my Mona Lisa  
You're my rainbow skies  
And my only prayer is that you realize  
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes..." (3)

"You are too kind…" my voice faltered, as I choked back the silent tears that possessed me.

Never in my life had I heard such… resplendent, gorgeous words directed my way. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that someday I would…

"The world will turn  
And the seasons will change  
And all the lessons we will learn  
Will be beautiful and strange  
We'll have our fell of tears  
Our share of sight  
My only prayer is that you realize  
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes  
And the passing years will show  
That you will always grow  
Ever more beautiful in my eyes.

And there are lines upon my face  
From a life time of smiles  
When the time comes to embrace  
For one long last wine  
We can laugh about how time really flies  
We won't say goodbye  
'Cause true love never dies  
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes  
And The passing years will show  
That you will always grow  
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

The passing years will show  
That you will always grow  
Ever more beautiful in my eyes..." (3)

"Just one night, give me just one night…" I replied, pleading him for a companion. "In the name of love. One night in the name of love." (4)

"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs," his voice took on a melancholy tone. "Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs."

"Love lifts us up where we belong. Where eagles fly on a mountain high."

"Love makes us act like we are fools." his voice shook, a sorrowand shadow that seemed to consume hisdemeanor, making me only want to hold him in my arms and never let go."Throw our live away for one... happy day."

"No…" I reached out when he was the first to lower his gaze.

Setting a firm hand upon his chin, I looked at him with a smile, so completely and utterly lost within the splendor of the moment and the hope that something might yet be there between us. Putting a finger to my lips to silence him, I took a step back, making sure to take in everything of him.

This wall between us was waiting to be broken down. He had taken the first steps. True. And now it was my turn to give this wall a nice chip as well.

"Look into my eyes- you will see. What you mean to me. Search your heart- search your soul. And when you find me there you'll search no more. Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for. You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for. You know it's true. Everything I do- I do it for you." (5)

"You don't want me… I can't… I…"

"Shhhh… it's _my_ turn to talk." I brushed my fingers over his lips, and was surprised that I did not tremble from my valor and intrepidity. "Look into my heart – you will find. There's nothin' there to hide. Take me as I am- take my life. I would give it all – I would sacrifice."

"Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for. I can't help it- there's nothin' I want more. Ya, I know it's true. Everything I do- I do it for you." He responded to my words, stepping forward and grabbing my hands, awaiting for our voices to finally unite.

"Oh- you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for. I can't help it- there's nothin' I want more. I would fight for you- I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you- ya I'd die for you. Ya, I know it's true. Everything I do- I do it for you."

"I'll be your dream. I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope. I'll be your love, be everything that you need." (6) I promised him.

"We could be heroes… just for one day." A whisper, but a consent nonetheless.

My heart sang its own tune of love at those words.

He smiled to himself before stepping forward and planting his lips upon mine tenderly.

As tenderly as the words we had exchanged only moments before.

I only hoped that he would remain tender far after this moment…

1. Queen "White Queen"

2. Enrique Inglesias "Hero"

3. Joshua Kidison "Beautiful In My Eyes"

4. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Elephant Love Medley"

5. Bryan Adams "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You)"

6. Savage Garden "Truly Madly Deeply"


	8. Move On

AN: Probably won't be updating as often. Kinda been rushing the story lately because of my lack of time to write, and yeah... thanks again to the reviewers.

**Chapter 8. Move On**

_She was beautiful. Magnificent. As beautiful as a Goddess. Never in my life had I seen a girl more breathtaking… who could steal me away with only one glance. One contact with the eyes. A smile._

_Her offhand way. How completely oblivious she was to my glances, blushing as if I was the only man who looked at her like that. Did she not see that every man in Paris thought her to be gorgeous?_

_"It seems that you had a good day yesterday, Christian." Toulouse remarked upon entering my home. "Did you and Isabel get along?"_

_"Well enough, Toulouse."_

_"I have not seen you grin in so long, Christian! Did you allow your passion to come?"_

_"Passion?" I raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Isabel and I have no passion, Toulouse."_

_"She brings enough passion in the men of Paris, oui." Toulouse nodded. "But not in Christian?"_

_"She is sweet. A child."_

_"Not much younger than you."_

_"But still young enough."_

_"Do not use age as an excuse, Christian. Remember? Truth. Is that not one of the Bohemian values?"_

_"Who does _not _value truth?"_

_"Those who do not want to hear it?"_

_Could I be denying the truth?_

_What was the truth of the situation? Isabel had changed since I've known her. Besides prancing around like a Prima Dona and certainly looking the part, she seemed to possess a new confidence in herself. Before, she held her head high in a challenge to all. Yesterday, she held her head up because she knew she _was _something. She might not know what it was she was, but there was one thing for certain… she was beautiful._

_"Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before." (1) I whispered the words to myself, remembering how vulnerable she had looked at me after jumping into that wash-pool. _

_There was no doubt that Isabel was falling for me. When I had sang to her words that I had nearly forgotten I knew, I thought she would be in tears by the end of the night. How could I deny the new feeling within her when she looked at me? How I wanted to take her as my own, but she… I… I could not love her. _

_But when she had sang back…_

_Her voice seemed to grow stronger with each of our meetings. I did not know if she was practicing her vocals or if she had finally found reason to sing and be heard, but her voice was just as pleasant to the ear as those of long-pronounced singers I have met throughout Paris. A voice I could sing along with…_

_Almost as melodious as Satine's…_

"_Satine…" I covered my face with my hands, wanting to look up and see she's still there. That I was not sitting upon a stool writing nonsense without my muse. _

"_Let her go, Christian."_

"_I… _can't_." _

"_It is not fair, Christian. It is not fair for Isabel or you or Satine. Why can you not move on?"_

"_Toulouse. I just… I can't move on. Not now. Not yet. I'm not sure if I ever can."_

"_But… Isabel..."_

"_Isabel is a child, Toulouse. Nothing shall happen. I have already made certain of that."_

"_You have made… certain?"_

"_I let her go, Toulouse. I could not do it."_

_But how I had wanted to!_

"_Why?"_

"_I love Satine."_

"_What is wrong with Isabel? She is beautiful. She is pure, I am quite sure. She is not a child."_

"_She is… she's…" I sighed. "No. I just can't, Toulouse. She's… she is better off without me." _

"_Oh Christian…" Toulouse shook his head before leaving me to my loneliness once more. "What have you done?"_

"Forget about him, Isabel." Cecille cooed, rubbing my back as I cried. "All men are rubbish. Just remember that. Us women… we need to just go off. Go on an adventure. Who needs men?"

"I thought maybe things would be different, Cecille." I cried. "I thought… I don't know exactly _what_ I thought… but when I saw him… I can't describe it. He was everything I could want."

"And then he had to turn into some evil, nefarious bastard."

"It was pathetic of me to expect anything out of this relationship," I wiped my eyes. "I mean, we had only seen each other a handful of times. Could I expect him to love me after only a few memories… a few times together? He's a grown man. I'm just some silly girl. Why would he have need of someone like me? It was ridiculous of me to think that he, of all men in the world, would possibly be interested in me."

"Don't let him of all people put you in this condition." Cecille went to grab a brush and proceeded to untangle my hair. "You are gorgeous, Isabel. If he cannot see that, then he can just go to his pubs full of drunken bastards like himself and…"

"He isn't _that_ horrible, now." I laughed at Cecille's anger.

"But he _is_! The lot of them! All complete idiots. You try to turn a guy away and he just follows you more. You try to make a guy fall in love with you and he pushes you away. Wherever can a girl have a chance to do something right for a man, may I ask? It seems near impossible to me."

"That's just because you haven't met the right man."

"What an understatement."

"No need to be bitter. It is not like I have either."

"Perhaps you have, but the fellow is too much of a bastard to admit it?" Cecille suggested.

"I did not come to the Moulin Rouge to draw fancies for some penniless writer." I shook my head, trying to gain back my sensibility. "Harod brought me here to marry some man. He is to visit on my nineteenth birthday."

"So Harod has told me," Cecille nodded. "Do you think he will be a dud?"

"It is very probable." I answered, grinning at how I was upset only a few moments ago, yet was freely talking of another man without a worry in the world. "If Harod arranged it, I believe it to be. But, at the moment, I am hoping that I am wrong."

"Join the club. Now you're truly one of us single women in Paris hoping that they shall meet their man any day now." Cecille continued brushing and went off on one of her tangents. "Take me for instance. I have spent a day or two with a different fellow for the past few months. Each time I pursue them only for the sake of being loved and finally finding someone. But, of course, luck is never on my side. In the beginning, he might find me superb and worth his time, but soon he grows tired of some voluptuous girl that comes at his every beck and call. Sadly, that is only after a few days. Then my search begins all over again. Perhaps the Moulin Rouge is not such a bad place for a woman like me… just ready to pounce upon an opportunity to find someone…"

"Never knew I could feel like this…" I closed my eyes, forgetting Cecille's talk and my hopes of another man, and feeling the tears coming. "…like I've never seen the sky before."

"Isabel?" Cecille ceased her brushing and turned to face me. "You okay, honey?"

"And I don't even know his name!" I shouted before welcoming the tears and allowing my sadness from minutes ago to take over.

1) Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"


	9. Since U Been Gone

_AN: Wasn't planning to post so soon, but I've decided to write a short chapter and then post a really long one later. _

**Chapter 9. Since U Been Gone**

Once again the regular, mundane humdrum of life took over.

Becoming polished never was an easy task, and I was living proof. Spending countless hours having Cecille fix me up with curls and ornamental gowns deprived me not only of filling my thoughts with my mysterious writer and mourning over whatever it was I lost and let go, but also deprived me of the much needed time that I could use writing away the secrets and feelings of my heart that seemed to be suffocating me.

I tried to forget that I was on the brink of writing my own love story.

I tried to forget I had any other dreams outside of the Moulin Rouge.

I tried to forget that I no longer recognized myself.

I tried to forget that each day of getting prissier by Cecille brought me closer to the day Harod arranged me to meet my suitor.

I tried to forget that I had ever met a writer in a pub of Paris who had given me the inspiration that I was in dire need of obtaining.

"Think of me.

Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye.

Imagine me once in awhile

Please promise me you'll try

When you find

That once again you long

To take your heart back and be free

If you ever find a moment

Spare a thought for me." (1)

I sang with a sigh, looking out the window of my room at the workers of the Moulin Rouge rehearsing for the production to come. Hours of being presented before numerous people of high status Harod and Cecille tried to associate me with had left me sore from standing up so agile and straight and smiling constantly.

What kept me going? Empty promises of tomorrow? Thoughts that someday I, too, might have a story to share like that of the Moulin Rouge love story Cecille continued telling me each day we met?

On the stage, Cecille sang her heart out, trying to pretend she were singing to an enthusiastic audience that came to see her perform rather than invest in whatever it is she could possibly do, whether it be sacrilege or dishonorable.

In her, although she was not much older than myself, I found a strong, independent woman that I wished I could someday become. For her it was not about throwing her life away for a chance to have some fellow take her under his wing. She knew what she wanted with life. She wanted love. And she would be damned before she allowed anything else ruin that for her.

"Here's the thing

We started out friends

It was cool, it was all pretend

Yeah, yeah, since you been gone

You dedicated, you took the time

Wasn't long, till I called you mine

Yeah, yeah, since you been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say

Is how I'd picture me with you

That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so moving on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get, what I want

Since you been gone" (2)

Just like Cecille to sing a song like that. When she was not jawing away about the Moulin Rouge or that love story I loved, she was telling me about a young Duke by the name of EdmundAmbler.

Young Edmund, who was more focused on having a crisp suit and his hair in place than he was about Cecille. The Edmund who could go on for hours about how fortunate the weather was currently. The Edmund who could talk anyone to sleep.

"How can I put it, you put me on

I even fell for that stupid love song

Yeah, yeah, since you been gone

How come I'd never hear you say

I just wanna be with you

Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so moving on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get, what I want

Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it

Out of sight, out of mind

Shut your mouth, I just can't take it

Again and again, and again and again

Since you been gone, (since you been gone)

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so moving on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get, I get what I want

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so moving on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you

You should know that I get

I get what I want

Since you been gone

Since you been gone

Since you been gone"

Tomorrow began the day that Harod's planned suitor was to arrive.

Tomorrow I would be nineteen.

Tomorrow I would become acquainted with the man who my mother had wanted me to marry.

The man who would give me a love story worth writing.

A love story to compete with that of the Moulin Rouge.

It would be my story… perhaps a tale of jealousy… madness… deceit…

But… mostly… it would be a story of love.

1. The Phantom of the Opera "Think of Me"

2. Kelly Clarkson "Since u been gone"


	10. The Duke

**Chapter 10. The Duke**

Cecille had really pulled the best out of me by some miracle.

My hair, now considerably pleasing to the eye, no longer maintained the same drab appearance. I had no need to pin back my bangs. They had grown out and cascaded towards my cheeks, framing a face of color (thanks to numerous creams and powders).

Standing before my chipped mirror, clad in a gown of white silk, made to make me seem pure compared to the women of the Moulin Rouge, I looked every bit the part of a Duke's wife. Or fiancé.

"Who am I?" I asked my reflection, placing a hand over the nose of the stranger staring back at me. "Not a freckle in sight…"

I was everything I had wanted. All of the flaws I had found in my figure and appearance were now fixed. What was there to frown about? Why could I not look at myself and see someone worth smiling over?

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

So that the Duke will love me. So a man might someday find me worth his time. So I can get out of the Moulin Rouge once and for all, never having to deal with Uncle Harod and sleeping in an enfeebled room.

The past few months had been nothing but work. Perfecting my grammar and exactly the right things to discuss during a social gathering. Knowing when it is appropriate to laugh or make a comment. Trying to maintain a figure worth remembering.

"How superficial could our world get?" I laughed, upon this realization. "I've spent over half a year trying to look good for a society I could care less about to begin with. And the… the only person that I care a bit more for is the one who could care less about what I look like. I don't need this make-up. Or this hairstyle. Or this dress. I don't need any of it."

Little by little I removed the facade that Cecille had used on me.

Each bit of my costume that was dissipated reminded me further of why I had not wanted to go to the Moulin Rouge.

I hated its values. Women were only worth what men could pay for them. Their only purpose in life was to look beautiful and make men hear what they wanted to hear. These past few months I had grown into the kind of woman I had hated to begin with.

"Isabel," Harod approached me with an enthusiastic grin only to have his eyes go wide at my appearance. "This was not what Cecille had told me you were to wear."

"I decided I wished to look the part of myself," I challenged him with my eyes defiantly. "I am not one of your whores, Harod. I am not going to put on airs to make some man love me."

"Do you realize what you are doing?" Harod asked. "You are risking everything! This duke can offer you anything you want. What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking that being a spinster cannot be half as bad if it saves me from a marriage without love." I held my head high, letting my words be heard. "These past few months I had forgotten that. The truth was, I was not thinking."

"Harod!" Cecille's voice rang out pleasantly. "The Duke and I are anticipating the arrival of Miss Isabel."

"You are throwing your life away, Isabel." Harod told me seriously. "Remember that before you enter this room. I'll give you one more chance, my child. Go upstairs and get back dressed. Do not ruin this for yourself."

"_No_." I answered firmly. "I am not going to be some chimerical fantasy for someone. This is who I am, Harod. You of all people should know that."

"Where are you going?" Harod called when I retreated. "The Duke is waiting for you."

"I had given you a year to cancel this meeting," I called back as I headed towards the exit. "This is not my problem."

"And I'd give up forever to touch you

'cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am." (1)

My voice echoed through the streets of Paris, my own melody to add to the never-ending pandemonium of the city. The stories and emotions that I could not express in my writing escaped through song, pouring out as fine a tale as that which had ever been written. Frustration and anguish filled my voice, leaving me empty and raw when my song reached it's end.

"Isabel?"

"Oui," I nodded, bent over from exhaustion, and unable to see the man standing behind me speaking. "I am Isabel."

"A particular Monsieur Ziddler arranged for me to meet his niece this evening." I grew rigid when I heard his footsteps advancing towards me. "He told me many things about you, Mademoiselle Isabel, but he did not once mention that you possessed such a mellifluous voice."

"It is not something he takes note of, nor knows."

"Does Mademoiselle Isabel know of it?"

"She does…I do… now." I grew uneasy when I felt his presence right behind me.

"Why did you leave?"

"I…"

I could not look up. Never did I expect the Duke to come after me. Never did I expect the Duke would _want_ to come after me.

"Cecille said you were just a bit nervous. Is that true? I am not that challenging of a fellow to get along with, I assure you."

"I do not doubt it…"

"Might I at least have the honor of seeing the lady I have been obliged to meet this evening?"

A pair of clear blue eyes greeted me, as heart-filled as his smile. Chestnut locks, cut a bit longer than usual Aristocratic sense, seemed more fit for a Bohemian than a Duke.

I had expected a curt, starched man with a pair of glasses, but had received a young man not much older than myself, grinning at me with enough charm to win over every female in France.

"Up to your standards, Mademoiselle Isabel?"

"Am I up to yours?" I ignored his question, throwing aside all decency Cecille had taught. "Wasn't expecting a freckled gypsy to be a potential wife, I'm sure."

"I find your attire fascinating," he remarked. "If every woman was able to throw aside the presumptuous fashion of Paris, more showgirl and Prima Dona than anything, I shall die a happy man."

"A bit hypocritical, you think?" I spoke back, noting his clothing. "You are dressed more for a funeral in that black suit and overcoat, Monsieur."

"Is this more to your liking?" he removed his jacket to reveal a white, buttoned down shirt, exposing part of his chest, and a scarlet cravat.

"Considerably better, thank you."

"Whatever pleases the ladies," he grinned.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty."

"Rather young for a Duke, do you not think?"

"My father died when I was eighteen. It is a position I have held for over two years."

"What is it like to be a Duke?"

"So many questions," he laughed. "Am I not permitted the same favor?"

"Ask away."

"Who taught you to sing?"

"No one."

"You learned on your own?"

"I sing on my free time."

"Music is one of my passions, you know." He told me. "I can play three different instruments. I sing when I can, but my voice is nothing special."

"Neither is mine."

"I beg to differ."

"You'd be the first."

"Who else has heard you sing? Besides yourself."

"No one."

"My point exactly."

"Then who are _you_ to say _your_ voice is nothing special?"

"I am the Duke."

"Sing something then," I crossed my arms, amused with whatever he might choose to sing. "Come now. You were doing a perfect job of being self-aggrandized. No need to stop now."

"One, you're like a dream come true. Two, just want to be with you. Three, girl it's plain to see that you're the only one for me. Four, repeat steps one through three. Five, make you fall in love with me. If ever I feel my work is done then I'm starting back at one." (2)

"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs," (3) I sang with a smile, relishing his words.

"Cecille has been telling me of you, Mademoiselle Isabel," he replied. "She told me you were one-of-a-kind. Inimitable. I was expecting a duplicate of her. It seems all ladies strive to be like what Cecille is. I am glad I was wrong about you."

"Cecille is independent."

"And a flirt," he grinned. "No wonder my parents warned my cousin of engaging to her."

"Your… cousin?"

"Yes. Edmund Ambler. My mother is his father's sister. I am Gregory Ambler."

Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"

Brian McKnight "Back at One"

Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Elephant Love Medley"


	11. The Writer

Chapter 11. The Writer 

I had been found.

Everything was going according to plan. I was to teach Harod's niece the ropes of this coquetry and he would give me the necessary connections to get out of Paris. He had never told me that he would be inviting over Edmund's cousin as a future suitor of Isabel.

Of all the people in the world, why him?

It was true that he was dashing. Charming. Rich. A duke. He is everything a woman asks for, and then some.

His first impression, although he was only fifteen at the time, was that he wished to find someone that would permit him to have a good time. He did not want the girls who giggled behind their fans and parasols at the sight of him. Rather, he found more interest in the maid who cleaned his mansion, who stole away whenever she could to read in the library.

As a young girl myself, back then, Gregory had fascinated me. Only a year older than myself, he possessed this content quality within him, wanting whatever was not expected of him and society. When a group of girls had came to perform during a dinner party and one girl accidentally sang the wrong song, he had clapped the most for her… even getting up and congratulating her.

Dear Isabel was so lucky for a man like him.

Gregory was far different than Edmund. He would pretend to sleep at his cousin's somniferous talk, wrinkling his nose in distaste when his cousin joined in with the tête-à-tête of finances. In Gregory, I found the kind of fellow I desired to find. A man who would keep me entertained and alive for the rest of my life.

But I was stuck with the king of insipidness instead…

It was true that Isabel had grown beautiful over the past few months. Even without my "prepping" her in the morning, she looked well enough to still have head turns. The depletion of her bangs had opened up her face, showing more of her brow and forehead. This brightened up her face, and kept her hair from shadowing her eyes. Her freckles gave her a touch of character that was so lacking in women of present society, and her small frame failed to admonish the true strength she possessed.

When Gregory had stood up from where we sat to see what took Harod and Isabel, I knew all would be lost. One look at Isabel clad in one of her gypsy dresses, her hair down, and her face bright with noncompliance to Harod, and I knew the effect she would have on Gregory. I did not need to look at his expression to realize that Isabel was exactly the kind of girl that he had been searching for all his life.

"Mi amour," Jacques grinned to himself, reaching for my hand and planting a kiss on my palm. "Never in my life have I come to meet a more beautiful woman. You are indeed a spectacular specimen. Exactly what every man desires."

Every man but Gregory…

"It is getting quite late," I stood up from where we sat at the café, not taking note the fact the sun had yet to set. "I should get back now."

"The time of day never stopped you before, mademoiselle." Jacques stood, reaching for me and planting a rough kiss upon my lips. "Where is the vixen I had met yesterday? Surely she has not already lost her fire?"

"You are all the same!" I frowned as I slapped him, tossing back my head and walking away, my hands, in fists, held at my side.

My fast walking soon slowed down as my anger diminished. Why was I mad at Jacques again? Why was I ever mad at any man? The answer was so simple…

…they were not Gregory.

"You are Isabel's friend?" a man dressed in more rags than clothing approached me, his eyes awaiting my answer.

"Oui," I nodded, taking note of his handsome features and analyzing if he was worth my time of day. I did not wish to waste my time on the same kind of men.

"I am…" he drifted off, rubbing the back of his neck and grinning. "…my name is not important. Isabel knows me. I am the writer."

"The writer?"

"Yes. Isabel and me associated a few months ago…" he sighed. "Seven months, three weeks, and one day to be exact. I need to see her. I…there is so much I need to tell her. So much that needs to be said."

The writer! Interesting…

"Oh Monsieur, you have not heard the good news?" I bit my tough, feeling shame claim me when I made up my mind to continue with my plan. "Isabel… she is… why… she's engaged.'

"Engaged?" he raised his eyebrows, obviously bemused at such an idea.

"Oui," I nodded, thinking fast. "To the Duke Ambler. A decent fellow, if I must say. I believe them to be quite close. Intimate."

"Engaged…"

He breathed the word, taking it in, and I thought he would break down and cry when he lowered his head. However, I was proven wrong when he looked up, completely deadpan, and smiled.

"I thank you, Mademoiselle."

"Is there anything you wish me to tell Mademoiselle Isabel, soon-to-be Duchess Ambler?"

"Nothing imperative."

"Monsieur," I stepped towards his retreating figure, grabbing his arm and silently cursing me for what I was soon to do. "You look awful. Completely dreadful. Is there not anything I can do for you?"

"I am quite fine, Mademoiselle."

"Please, let me get you a drink." I flashed a smile, wanting more than ever to be beaten for the injury I would soon do to Isabel. "I cannot take no for an answer. You look tired. Exhausted. Completely worked out. Come, let me help you relax a bit more."


	12. A Love Story Of Harod's Making

**AN: **_Thanks to all reviewes and readers. Won't be updating very often, considering many term papers are coming up, but I'll try to have the next chapters up ASAP. Yes, _xWolfyx, _Harod is Ziddler. Sorry I never really clarified that._

**Chapter 12. A Love Story Of Harod's Making**

"Maybe it's intuition

Some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound

More than a little

Crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life." (1)

Gregory stood atop the stage that my bedroom window overlooked, singing his heart out, his arms outspread and a smile upon my face. It was a show intended for an audience of one.

And I was that special one.

"I look at you looking at me

Now I know why they say the best things are free

I'm looking for you boy you are so fine

Angel of mine." (2)

I looked out my window, placing my hands on the windowsill and grinning back. Just one week and already I hummed the tunes of jollity and love and promise.

"You know, the sun is in your eyes

And hurricanes and rains

And black and cloudy skies

You're running up and down that hill

You turn it on and off at will

There's nothing here to thrill

Or bring you down

And if you've got no other voice

You know you can fellow my voice

Through the dark turns and noise

Of this wicked little town." (3)

I left my spot from the window to join Gregory on the stage. Jumping into his arms, I began to kiss his face frantically, as if at any moment he might retreat.

"Oh Isabel," he closed his eyes and opened them only to seize my lips, startling me to the point where I broke away. "What is wrong?"

"I…can't… do this." my heart was pounding in my heart, and the sight of Gregory with my lipstick speared randomly about his face made me laugh. "How ridiculous you look right now, Gregory."

"You still look beautiful," Gregory reached for me, pulling me near so that I had to look up at him to face him entirely. "Can I just marry you now?"

"We have only met a week," I felt my face flush, unable to fathom what I should do.

This was definitely a situation I had never imagined would happen in my life.

"Isabel… you are… magnificent." he grinned. "My Mona Lisa."

"Mona Lisa," I closed my eyes, remembering the last time I was called that.

"Let me be yours," Gregory whispered, wrapping his arms on me and kissing me sweetly, barely a brush on my lips, so subtle I was doubting if it occurred until he performed the act again.

Unable to resist further, I wrapped my hands around his head and returned his kiss with passion.

* * *

He loved her. 

No amount of passionate kisses and exchange of love could deny it. Gregory was fully and deeply caught within the realms of romance, passion, and love.

But did Isabel love him back?

Hidden in the shadows behind the stage, my dark apparel blended well with the darkness around me. Gregory's pleads to be wed were well intended, yet Isabel tossed them aside as if he were merely inquiring her on the weather. As much as they kissed and laughed and sang, they were not engaged.

Isabel had yet to acquiesce to Gregory's proposal.

"O but you're lovely

With your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft

There is nothing for me to love you

Just the way you look tonight

With each word, your tenderness grows

Tearing my fear apart

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose

Touches my foolish heart

Lovely never never change

Keep that breathless change

Won't you please arrange it

Cause I, I love you

Just the way you look tonight." (4)

Would he ever say that to me? The truth wedged deep within my heart cried out, making me slip further into darkness.

"Just the way you look tonight."

His words… his voice. Everything about him brought back memories of the boy I had secretly followed in the shadows all of my life, clinging onto a dream that someday he would notice that it was I he was searching for all along.

"Say you love me every waking moment,

Turn my head with talk of summertime…

Say you need me with you,

Now and always…

Promise me that all you say is true-

That's all I ask of you…"

"Let me be your shelter,

Let me be your light.

You're safe:

No-one will find you

Your fears are far behind you…"

"All I want is freedom,

A world with no more night…

And you always beside me

To hold me and to hide me…"

"Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime…

Let me lead you from your solitude…

Say you need me with you here, beside you…

Anywhere you go, let me go too…"

"That's all I ask of you…" I grew rigid as Isabel continued her song with Gregory. "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you. Share each day with me. Each night. Each morning. Say you love me…"

"You know I do…" Gregory held her close, cradling her in his arms, and planting a kiss on her forehead. "Anywhere you go, let me go too. Love me- that's all I ask of you." (5)

Watching as Isabel grinned sheepishly, too enthralled in the idea a man would say such words to her, jealousy possessed me. It was no surprise that when they departed, fingers entwined, cuddling one another, yet _still _not engaged, I emerged from the shadows, walking upon the stage and standing at the exact spot they stood only moments ago.

Gregory…

"Heads I win, tails you lose

I always play by my own rules

And I don't believe in wasting time

So long before we end this night

I will have held you

I will have kissed you

I will have claimed you

You will be mine

I will have loved you

Wrong or right

I will have your heart

You will be mine

An unwritten law says I girl should wait

Should let the man set his own pace

But a woman in love, she's above the law

So long before this night is gone

I will have held you

I will have kissed you

I will have claimed you

You will be mine

I will have loved you

Wrong or right

I will have your heart

You will be mine

You top my list of things to do

And I will get close to you

Before this night is through

I will have held you

I will have kissed you

I will have claimed you

You will be mine

I will have loved you

Wrong or right

I will have our heart

You will be mine." (6)

* * *

In Gregory arms, I felt secure. Safe. Could you blame me for not wishing him to let me go? 

"I love you, Isabel." Gregory reminded me as we strolled down the streets of Paris, his arms around me. "I would hold you forever like this, if I could, for you seem to be the only aspect of my life worth holding onto."

"Don't say that, Gregory. You have a family. A respectable position in society. A stable life."

"It is true," Gregory replied offhandedly. "My mother is growing impatient with my lethargic behavior towards politics and the rest of my family is as dull as can be. You provide me with all the enchantment and excitement worth living for. Duke? A boring family? A position I would throw away if it allowed me to roam freely without having people lower their eyes as if I were worth more than they? I would give it all up in an instant. None of it matters to me."

"I've had neither family, nor a name for myself, or a position in society, so I could never truly understand."

"You will have all of it soon enough, _mon amour_."

"Stand by me," I held his hand tightly, smiling when he squeezed back. "_Ma liberté_."

"Sing for me," Gregory asked, resting his chin atop my shoulder. "_Mon coeur chante avec le vôtre_."

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance," I sang, looking up at the Moulin Rouge, I saw Harod staring down at us from a window. "For a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction. Oh beautiful release. Memory seeps from my veins. Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight." (7)

"Let me be your release," Gregory coaxed soothingly. "You are more than enough for me."

"In the arms of an angel fly away from here. From this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort there." (7)

I tried ignoring Harod's presence, but I could feel his eyes piercing me, his duplicitous plans taking wing. It would always be the Moulin Rouge that would ruin it all for me. Tears burned the back of my eyes, as I struggled to finish what I had begun.

"So tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back. And the storm keeps on twisting. You keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference. Escaping on last time. It's easier to believe in this sweet madness. Oh. This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees." (7)

"It is beautiful. _La chanson de l'ange_." Gregory breathed as he contemplated joining me where I stood a few feet in front of him, staring up at Harod. "_Mon ange_."

"In the arms of an angel fly away from here. From this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort there." (7)

Lowering my head, the tears came, as I thought of the Moulin Rouge and Harod and the love story that had concluded here.

Would my own have a similar ending?

"Never knew I could feel like this," I whispered to myself before dropping down and having Gregory run to my side in an attempt to comfort whatever had plagued me. "Like I've never seen the sky before." (8)

* * *

1. Savage Garden "I Knew I Loved You" 

2. Monica "Angel of Mine"

3.Ben Jelen "Wicked Little Town"

4. Tony Bennet "The Way You Look Tonight"

5. The Phantom Of The Opera "All I Ask Of You"

6. Faith Hill "You Will Be Mine"

7. Sarah McLachlan "Angel"

8. Ewan McGregory & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"


	13. Love Is On The Way

**Chapter 13. Love Is On The Way**

"Did the Duke figure out of the writer and The Sparkling Diamond's affair?" I questioned, slipping on a fuchsia headband to match another gypsy dress. "Did he realize she could never love him and left?"

"What love story does _not _end in tragedy?" Cecille sighed heavily, resting upon my bed and gazing at the cracked ceiling. "It did not take long before he began noticing. When The Sparkling Diamond failed to show up to yet another meeting with the Duke, he grew infuriated. In an attempt of desperation, Harod had explained that The Sparkling Diamond was off at confession…"

Cecille's words faded away as the story possessed me in such a way, I thought I could see the situation before me, Harod's song ringing within my ears as the Duke slowly gave into the lie.

How many more lies has Harod told?

"How is _your _Duke, Isabel?" Cecille inquired, twirling a lose curl of hers with a finger. "All going pleasant enough, I hope?"

"I never thought I would meet a man like him," I closed my eyes, memories flashing before my eyes that could do nothing but make me smile. "It seems impossible to be upset around him."

"He truly _is _a wonderful gentleman."

"He asks about you," I told her, recalling past conversations.

"Gregory asks about me?"

"Yes," I nodded. "He talks of how Edmund misses you back at home. He says he is not quite sure his cousin is aware of your presence within the Moulin Rouge, but he will not tell. He says that he understands more than anyone how sometimes you just need to leave from the everyday normality that surrounds you."

"That's Gregory for you…"

"Words cannot describe him," I trailed away from my rational as I began my own tangent of Gregory. "His good attributes precede the little faults he might have."

"You have known him for a little less than half a month and you already find fault with him?"

"Nothing horrendous, I promise you." I reassured. "They are not really faults entirely. More like habits, if you mind. Like when he finds the necessity to rumple up his attire to give his life a sense of disorder. Or when he begins to shift back and forth off the balls of his feet when he does not know what to do. Or when he wishes to sing over talk or during silence. None of them bother me, mind you. I just noticed some consistency with certain actions of his and made note of them all."

"But do you love him?"

The question hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity, until Cecille cleared her throat, demanding an answer.

"I could learn to love him…"

"If you cannot say yes, then you don't."

"Waking up alone

In a room that still reminds me

My heart has got to learn to forget

Starting on my own

With every breath I'm getting stronger

This is not the time for regret

Cause I don't need to hang on to heartbreak

When there's so much of life left to live

Love is on the way

On wings of angels

I know it's true, I feel it coming through

Love is on the way

Time is turning the pages

I don't know when

But love will find me again

I am not afraid

Of the mystery of tomorrow

I have found the faith deep within

There's a promise I have made

There's a dream I'm gonna follow

There's another chance to begin

And it's coming as sure as the heavens

I can feel it right here in my heart

Love is on the way

On wings of angels

I know it's true, I feel it coming through

Love is on the way

Time is turning the pages

I don't know when

But love will find me again

(Oh I know, I know down deep

Down in my heart I know that…)

Love is on the way

On wings of angels

I know it's true, I feel it coming through

Love is on the way

Time is turning the pages

I don't know when

But love will find me again

I don't know when

But love will find me again…" (1)

"You still love the writer…" Cecille realized when I finished my song.

"Love is on the way," I replied to her with confidence. "Love will find me again."

* * *

"How is Isabel?"

The writer's questions were always the same. Always about Isabel. If her fiancé treated her kindly. If she was happy. If she ever asked about him. Always the same answers.

"Isabel is doing well. The Duke treats her like the Duchess she's bound to be, and his love keeps her happy. She has not brought you up as far as I know. At least, not to me."

The same cursing towards myself internally at my lies…

"No mention of me?"

I knew I was paid to make men hear what they wanted to hear. I knew what he wanted to hear, and I knew the truth.

"None at all."

But yet I kept the lies coming…

And he kept at his typing, not even trying to look up and notice that I sat on his bed, ready to go to the ends of the world if only a man might love me.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Monsieur?"

"I have lost it," he ran his hands through his head, and looking down at the fireplace where his fire had extinguished only moments ago. "The inspiration is there, but it is not complete. I can type endlessly of my story, but it goes in circles. This is getting me nowhere."

"Are you alright, Monsieur?" I sat up, hoping to catch his eye.

"Why has she not mentioned me?" he did not even look up from where his eyes remained fixed on the fireplace.

Sighing, I laid down on his bed, looking down at the lace of my dress, hugging every curve of my body, yet drawing no attention my way.

Surely my situation was no different than his.

It was getting nowhere.

* * *

I could stand for days before an empty fireplace, remembering her smile and laughter.

Was it only months ago that I had held her in my arms? That I had tasted her for the first time? Would that be my last time with the closest thing to heaven?

"You are such a tease…"

Oh Cecille. She was an affable woman, but certainly not the type of woman I saw myself with. Although Satine had came off as some voluptuous temptress, it was all a facade of Ziddler's making.

Cecille, no matter if she was dressed to be The Sparkling Diamond or a handmaid would always be a flirt, waiting to pounce upon the first man she crossed paths with.

"When is their wedding?" I questioned Cecille, in need to know how many more days of torture I had to endure before Isabel was finally out of men's reach. "I do not think I can last another day… another week. Please, Cecille, tell me it is near."

"Well…" Cecille trailed off, fumbling with the lace around the neckline of her dress. "The thing about it is… I…well… I am not quite sure."

"Not sure?" I turned away from the hearth I had been focused on, averting my attention from any distractions. "I would think that Isabel would confide with you about everything. The date of her wedding is certainly a matter that you should know…"

"…Isabel doesn't confide _everything_ to me."

"Does she love him?"

"Why…I am quite sure… what reason has she to _not _love the Duke?"

Her answers were getting quite reassuring.

"Is Isabel even engaged?" I pressed, standing up and walking towards where Isabel rested atop my bed until I was staring down at her eyes that wavered without the confidence I was so used to. "She isn't, is she?"

"I…I think…Isabel…" Isabel's eyelashes fluttered, stumbling on what she could possibly say.

Without a moment's hesitation, I pressed my lips to hers with a heat and need, kissing her with a hardness I had forgotten I was capable of doing. Cecille responded with just as much rapidness, wrapping her arms around me, and bringing me down upon her before wrapping her hands within my hair.

When we finally drew apart, her lips were swollen from my own, and I was quite certain my face was smudged with whatever paint she wore upon her lips.

"Isabel… she's…not…engaged yet…" Cecille breathed between her deep gasps for air. "She… and the Duke… are still… courting."

I did not give Cecille another moment to say anything or for any thought as to my present actions to settle in as I strode out of my home into the streets of Paris.

1. Celine Dion "Love Is On The Way"


	14. Love Medleys Upon The Elephant

**Chapter 14. Love Medleys Upon The Elephant **

"Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation  
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination  
Silently the senses abandon their defenses," (1)

I stopped at the sight of Isabel standing atop Satine's elephant… the threshold and foundation that began my love story. Could she be anymore gorgeous in her gypsy dress, her long hair swaying in the wind, her bangs grown out, giving her the mature look that she was so lacking when I first met her.

There was no doubt that she was a woman.

"Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour

Gasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender

Turn your face away from the garish light of day

Turn your face away from cold, unfeeling light

And listen to the music of the night." (1)

"How wonderful life is now you're in the world," I called, knowing exactly what I would do. (2)

"Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before

Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar

And you'll live as you've never lived before." (1)

She paced back and forth, the same footprints of Satine atop the elephant, as I retraced my own, climbing aboard.

Her eyes went wide upon seeing me, when I approached her, setting one hand upon her shoulder, and the other cupping her face. I needed her there. To touch. To hold. To give me that feeling I had lost so long ago.

"Well I've been waiting for so long

I've been waiting so patiently

Out of the blue you call

You're leaving him to be with me now

Now maybe I'm right, or maybe I'm wrong

Oh, I gotta know now

I'll take what you got, so you'd better hold on

You'd better believe it." (3)

Isabel responded by mimicking my movement, and I grinned at the feel of her hands upon my cheek.

"Softly, deftly, music shall caress you

Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind

In this darkness which you know you cannot fight

The darkness of the music of the night." (1)

" 'cause that's how I feel when I'm in your arms

That's how I feel when I'm with you

You make me feel like never before

That's how I feel when I'm with you." (3)

"Let your mind start a journey through a stranger, new world

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before

Let your soul take you where you long to be

Only then can you belong to me." (1)

"If you're not the one

Then why does my soul feel glad today

If you're not the one

Then why does my hand fit yours this way

If you are not mine

Then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine

Would I have the strength to stand at all?" (4)

"Floating, falling, sweet intoxication

Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation

Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in

To the harmony which dreams alone can write

The power of the music of the night." (1)

"I never know what the future brings

But I know you are here with me now

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with." (4)

"You alone can make my song take flight…" (1)

"I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?" (4)

"Help me make the music of the night." (1)

"If I don't need you then why I am I crying on my bed?

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?" (4)

"There's a song that's inside of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again." (5)

"I don't know why you're so far away

But I know that this much is true

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life." (4)

"So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and

Pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope." (5)

"I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stand in your arms?" (4)

"Sing to me the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and

Laughing and laughing again

Well it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again." (5)

" 'cause I miss you

Body and soul so strong

That it takes my breath away

And I breathe you

Into my heart and pray

For the strength to stand today

'cause I love you

Whether it's wrong or right

And though I can't be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side." (4)

I released her shoulder and cupped her face, staring into her eyes, as our songs merged into one.

"I don't wanna run away but I can't take it/ And I lay my head back down

I don't understand/And I lift my hands and

If I'm not made for you/pray to be only yours

Then why does my heart tell me that I am/I pray to be only yours

Is there any way I can stand in your arms/I know now you're my only hope." (4,5)

"_Paix, enfin_." I whispered, knowing nothing could pass from my lips but the language of love. "_Mon amour. Ange_."

She grinned at my words, pressing a finger to my lips to silence me so she could finish her bit. My heart pounded in my head, singing along with her voice as she continued.

"I'd give you my destiny

I'm giving you all of me

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs

I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and

Pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope." (5)

When her song came to an end, silence engulfed us. Staring at each other, our thudding hearts the only sound that let us know one another was still present and alive, we grinned and I kissed her.

There are some things about love that is better left unsaid.

* * *

1. Phantom of the Opera "Music of the Night"

2. Elton John "Your Song"

3. Phil Collins "That's How I Feel"

4. Daniel Beddingfield "If You're Not The One"

5. Mandy Moore "Only Hope"


	15. Voice Lessons

**AN: **Please R&R. Cannot express how great it feels to know that people are actually reading my story. Whether it's criticism or praise or just a hello… it makes my day. Any suggestions, advice, etc… feel free to share.

**Chapter 15. Voice Lessons**

Now I knew why it was called falling in love.

I was falling. Deep. Farther into the depths of bliss, where the skies were endless, and everything seemed as if I were seeing the world for the first time.

I had never truly known I could feel like this.

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful,

Stop me and steal my breath

Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated

I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above." (1)

His voice sang to me in sweet lullabies, lulling me in and out of my dreams.

For once, reality promised more happiness than my dreams.

"It is still so early…" I grumbled, unwilling to open my eyes.

"I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life." (1)

He wrapped his arms around me, pressing me close and whispered his words to me. Never did I imagine love would feel like this. In a world of darkness, I had found my light. And it surrounded me now.

There was no darkness that could penetrate the light of love.

"And rain falls

Angry on the tin-roof

As we lie awake in my bed

You're my survival

You're my living proof

My love is alive, not dead

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above." (1)

Never did I imagine I would hear such words… such poetry… directed my way.

Never knew I could feel like this…

Stuck in bed with the man of my dreams…

His voice singing a promise…

As he trailed kisses upon my face…

…Never knew I could feel like this.

"And I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life." (1)

When he decided to claim my lips, I could not help but smile. In his arms, I felt complete. No longer did I need a facade. No longer was it imperative to mask my vulnerability. Not with him here. Security at last. A promise that was sealed with a kiss.

"And I've dropped out

Burned up

I fought my way back from the dead

I tuned in

And turned on

Remembering the things that you said." (1)

"Don't stop now," I murmured, pulling myself closer to his body for warmth.

"I'll be your crying shoulder.

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life." (1)

"Never knew I could feel like this…" I began a new song as I opened up my eyes to be welcomed by his own. (2)

"Like I've never seen the sky before." He replied softly. (2)

"Where were you all my life?" I questioned, reaching to brush aside the hair that had fallen over his forehead and touched his eyebrows. "_Mon amour_."

"Want to vanish inside your kiss." (2)

He grinned, kissing me fiercely and passionately. When he finally released me, enabling me a moment to breathe, he only set his hands upon my cheeks and kissed me again. Softly. Shortly. Sweetly.

"Everyday I love you more and more." (2)

Were I not to have placed my hand upon his mouth, he would have fed me more savory confection. Spun me more gold.

"We need to talk."

His response was a kiss upon my palm.

"We cannot proceed on like this. It is not proper."

"When has lovers ever been proper in Paris? It _is _the city of love after all."

"What purpose have we to follow the crowd? Whether everyone engages in such happenings or not, the matter is entirely unmoral."

"_Beau_," he kissed me gently on the lips and then tenderly upon my forehead. "_Ne pas s'inquiéter._"

"I cannot go back," I closed my eyes, pulling myself deeper into his arms. "I cannot face Harod. Or Cecille. Or Gregory. What shall they think of me?"

"When has _mon amour _become afraid of what other people might think?" he teased. "There are plenty of explanations for a young woman being out alone that does not connect to us…getting together… in the night."

"And what explanation could there be?"

"Well…" he stopped his talking for a moment to think of a good plan.

"I cannot go back…" I moaned in despair.

"Voice lessons!"

"Voice lessons?"

"Yes," he sat up, thinking and talking fast so the idea would not escape before he had time to tell it. "You had a sudden interest in singing to impress your Duke and decided to give me a visit. We were so caught up in the singing that we had fallen asleep and woke up to find us atop our music."

"What a ridiculous story," I snorted. "Harod lives off of telling lies. Whatever makes you think he shall fall for something like that?"

"Because you _can_ sing," he kissed me again, quite pleased with his plan. "Harod has never heard you sing. As far as he knows, you could not hit a note before you met me."

"How would you know that? No one knew I couldn't sing before…" I grew suspicious.

"It is not much of a surprise," he laughed. "For if Harod had heard you sing, Cecille would surely be out of business as a new Sparkling Diamond emerged."

"Wait…" I stopped, looking at his cautiously. "…how do you know Harod?"

"How?" he shook his head. "Why, _beau_, you told me only moments ago that you would not be able to face him. What reason then did I have to doubt that you associate with him?"

"I don't know…" I closed my eyes, unable to believe that I had so carelessly given away so much about me.

"What is wrong?"

"I am doing such a tremendously wonderful job at making matters worse."

"Don't worry," he kissed me, his lips brushing over my face. "It will all work out. There is no way anyone shall know of us. Not yet, at least. The plan will work. Believe me, _mon amour._"

And so began another person's attempt to plan my life for me…

* * *

1. Edwin McCain "I'll Be"

2. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"


	16. A Tangled Love Web

**AN: **Thank you so much to all reviewers. You guys are awesome. Keeping in mind the constructive criticism, and starting to edit previous chapters. Hopefully I'll have the time to post minor changes in the story at some point in time. Couldn't figure out a good title for this chapter, so if there's any suggestions, feel free to share.

* * *

**Chapter 16. A Tangled Love Web**

"Christian!" Toulouse ran in to see me typing away, a grin upon my face, and prints of Isabel's lips still upon my face. "It looks like things are going well between you and Isabel."

"Well enough…" I did not deny my joy with a grin. "When I am with her, I can write again. I cannot describe it, Toulouse. When she had left, I had no idea what to write. My words and thoughts just kept going back to her."

"It is great to see that you have moved on…"

"…moved on?" I stopped typing to stare at Toulouse.

"Yes," he nodded. "You cannot hold onto Satine forever, Christian. I am happy that you were able to start loving again."

"I still love Satine, Toulouse." I replied sternly. "No other woman can take her place."

"I did not ask for Isabel to take her place," Toulouse answered. "I only ask that you make a new place in your heart for her."

"I still love Satine." I repeated just as firmly.

"And there is no room for Isabel?" Toulouse questioned.

"I…" I ran a hand through my hair, a battle raging within me. "…it is not so simple, Toulouse. Isabel… she is about to be engaged to Duke Ambler."

"But she _loves_ you!"

"I know," I sighed. "I know, Toulouse."

"Do you love her, Christian?"

I stood up at his question, setting my typewriter upon the stool, and moved to stand in front of the fireplace. Why could I not answer such a simple question?

"Do you?"

I had feelings for her. She made me forget the heartache and reminded me of what it was like to be loved. When I was not with her, I felt this emptiness that consumed me, only dissipating upon seeing her again. Was that love?

"I don't know," I squatted down so I was eye level with the fire.

"You are not even trying, Christian." Toulouse pouted. "Isabel has told me of your plans. How you are going to tell Ziddler that you are teaching her to sing. Would you put so much time on her behalf if you did not love her?"

"I need her in my life," I said more to the fire than Toulouse. "She makes me forget…"

"Forget what?" Toulouse laughed. "Satine? Ziddler? The Duke? The Moulin Rouge? If Isabel is your means of escaping whatever heartache you are feeling, Christian, then let her go. It is not fair for her."

"I _can't_ let her go…" I lowered my head as silent tears stung my eyes.

"Why can you not admit that you love her?" Toulouse asked. "What is so hard in saying it? You want to be with her, Christian. You would not do such favors for a woman if you did not. Why are you denying her the love she needs? The love you need?"

"I cannot love," I choked. "I can never love again."

* * *

"And where have _you _been?" Cecille inquired when I ran through my bedroom door, my hair in as bad of a condition as my wrinkled gown. "It looks as if you had to wrestle your way through all of Paris to get back to the Moulin Rouge."

"I am sorry," I apologized, taking off my dress and slipping into a bedroom robe. "I was out singing. Taking voice lessons. It was nothing."

"Nothing?" Cecille stepped off of my cot and approached me, staring me straight in the eye. "You have never glowed this much before, Isabel. You cannot lie to me. Who is the man?"

"I cannot say…" I blushed, turning away to tend to my hair. "It is of no importance, I reassure you."

"It was the writer, was it not?"

My brush dropped to the floor at her mention of a man that I had not talked of for months.

"I deal with men, with love and passion, everyday of my life." Cecille walked over, picking up my brush and handing it to me. "I know these things, Isabel. I know the cautions of taking up a lover. Especially when you are about to be engaged. "

"You couldn't possibly understand…"

"Really?" Cecille crossed her arms. "Let me just guess. You were heartbroken after the writer snubbed you months ago. But heartache lasts only so long when you come across a handsome Duke who happens to love you for who _you _are. You are on the verge of being in love once again, but hesitate only because you hold onto the hopes of being rekindled once again with your writer. And, alas, your writer comes back for you, and you just _leap _into his open arms. Is that so far off?"

"There is more to the story…" I reminded myself.

"Are you so sure?" Cecille raised an eyebrow. "Isabel, dearest. I know men. It is all part of being a courtesan. Part of working for Ziddler in the Moulin Rouge. Gregory has promised you everything you could imagine. He _loves_ you. He is waiting only for _your _consent to be married. You will never find a more providential opportunity ever again."

"I know," I tried to ignore her by brushing my hair to one side and running my fingers through my long locks.

"Your writer is one of a kind," Cecille remarked with a smile. "He might not have all of the gold in the world, but his words are just as rich and worth just as much as any amount of treasures. When you are with him, you could listen endlessly to his songs for you. His promises. He provides you not with the security of a fine house and luxurious meals and grand balls, but can only provide you with himself. Nothing else will be yours."

"What is so wrong with that?"

"I do not say this to hurt you, Isabel, but I say this because I do not want you to make the same mistake as I did." Cecille's words became serious and candid. "I know Gregory. I grew up with him. I am engaged to his cousin. I have seen how he looks at you. I would do anything in the world to have a man look at me the same way he looks at you. I have met your writer. I have met him numerous times before this night. Has he ever said that he loved you? Has he offered to spend his life with you?"

"He told me he loved melast night," I told my reflection, but I could see Cecille looking at me behind where I stood. "_Everyday I love you more and more."_ (1)

"Do you even know his name?"

"No."

"Do you find that odd?" Cecille proceeded on when I failed to answer her. "I did. When I got back last night, I did some research on your writer. And you know what I found out, Isabel? That man… your writer… his name is Christian. Does that ring a bell?"

"Christian…" I closed my eyes, engraining his name within my head.

"He was the one in the story," Cecille said. "He is the man who fell in love with The Sparkling Diamond. He didn't tell you _that_, did he?"

"He needs me, Cecille. He needs me just as much as I need him."

"He does not love you," Cecille told me with a strong note in her voice. "He loves Satine."

"Satine…" I breathed the name, as I recalled him mentioning it once in the past.

"Yes," Cecille nodded. "Satine was The Sparkling Diamond, Isabel. Satine seduced Christian, and he fell in love with her. She fell in love with him. They are the characters of this love story that you have grown so infatuated with."

"Christian and Satine." I repeated the names to myself in monotone.

"Christian does not love you, Isabel." Cecille opened her arms, and I walked into them, hugging her tightly for support. "Gregory loves you. He loves you fully and unconditionally. Christian might seem like he might love you and need you, but he loves Satine. Do not fall for a man who is a slave to another woman, Isabel. It leads you only to loneliness and anguish. Do not turn away the best thing that will come into your life."

"Christian…" I cried, sobbing into Cecille's dress as her words settled in.

"I am sorry, Isabel." Cecille cooed. "I just do not want you to turn out like me."

* * *

_"Gregory!" I lit up at the sight of him looking out of the window in Isabel's room, obviously waiting for her arrival. "Isabel is out right now. Lord only knows when she shall return. I have not had the delight to talk to you in so long!"_

_"Why are you here, Cecille?" Gregory turned his gaze upon me, and I blushed. "Edmund is searching for you. He will find you in time."_

_"I know he will," I agreed. "I do not love him, Gregory."_

_"Why did you agree to the engagement?" Gregory asked. "You had much opportunity to end this. Why did you lie to Edmund? To me? To everyone?"_

_"I thought that was what I was supposed to do," I replied. "I thought you were supposed to agree when men asked for your marriage. That was what my mother said. She told me to agree to whatever good things might come into your life."_

_"What changed your mind? You seemed so content before you left. You looked as if you could not be happier."_

_"You talked to me."_

_"It was _me_?"_

_"It was the night when my parents visited us," I reminded. "You and I had conversed about love. You were talking about how wonderful it was that I had found someone that I loved. You were saying how you wished that someday you might find a woman who would love you as I loved Edmund. It dawned upon me then that I did not love Edmund. That I had agreed to the marriage simply because I thought it was expected of me, and that everyone did such things. I was naïve. I did not think. I did not know how to bring up the matter to anyone. Did not wish to face anyone after that. So I fled."_

_"Was that it?" Gregory pressed for more, unconvinced. "You agreed to marry my cousin because you thought it was_ expected _of you? And then you realized you did_ not _love him and just left? It does not sound like you, Cecille. There is more to the story than you are willing to say,_ oui_?"_

"_This is who I am now," I said firmly. "I am The Sparkling Diamond. I work for Ziddler. The Moulin Rouge is my home. This is the life I choose."_

"_You are better than this, Cecille."_

"_Why are you so bent on me marrying your cousin?" I began to cry in a fit of frustration. "He is nothing to me. Nothing!"_

"_I am not asking you to marry my cousin," Gregory grabbed my wrists to silence me. "I am only wondering where the wild lady I knew in my childhood went? You are far more reserved. Your aura has faded."_

"_Where is the young boy I watched grow up?" I whispered. "Where is the boy who would kiss me goodnight and cuddle with me whenever I felt lonely? Where is the boy who did everything he possibly could to not fit into the standards of society?"_

"_He is grown up and in love," Gregory hugged me in a way that would have my heart racing were it to be anything but in the brotherly intentions he did it with. "And, hopefully, soon to be married to the woman he loves. I am the same boy, Cecille. He is still there."_

"_You have changed so much," I cried. "I wish things could go to before I was engaged. Before I ran away and you were still chasing after that maid."_

"_Candace will always have a place in my heart, even if it was one of boyish affections, more naivete than seriousness." Gregory chuckled, pressing a tender kiss on my forehead. "How wonderful it might be to stay young forever, dear Cecille. But all must grow up. Fall in love. Be wed. I would not exchange an eternity of childhood for the feelings I share with Isabel. I hope that someday you shall feel the same. Then you will understand."_

"_It must be a splendid feeling…" I trailed off, my sobs silent yet the tears still falling._

"_And one I know you will experience," Gregory released me, placing a last kiss upon my cheek. "Goodnight, Cecille. Remember I shall always try to be there for you, if ever you are feeling lonely."_

_Did he not realize I was lonely _now_?

* * *

_

1. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"


	17. Misery Loves Company

**AN: **Thanks to all reviewers once more. Might not be able to update for awhile, since I'll be out the vast majority of the time this week, but I'll try to work on this when I can and post a new chapter ASAP. I love you guys so much. Thanks a bunch.

**Chapter 17. Misery Loves Company**

"Christian!" Cecille greeted me with open arms as I approached the Moulin Rouge.

I do not remember telling her my name…

"Have you seen Isabel?" I questioned. "Is she available?"

"For what, may I ask?"

"Voice lessons," I cleared my throat. "I…we both… I am teaching her how to sing."

"Isabel is with Duke Ambler," Cecille informed, crossing her arms and offering me a smile. "You know how love birds are, of course. They tend to lose track of time."

"Isabel… is with the… Duke?"

"Why, yes. I believe she is."

"You are not lying, are you?"

"What a hurtful accusation," Cecille placed a hand upon her heart. "Questioning a lady's words now?"

"Why are you being so aloof?" I said. "What reason have you to quarrel with me?"

"Christian, one on one, I have something to say." Cecille gave me a moment to object or react, but I only stood and stared. "I know about you. I know about you and Satine. I do not want you to hurt Isabel. This is for her protection. Gregory is the best thing in her life right now, and I will not have you ruin it for her. Even if it means giving up my own love to guarantee her security. Gregory loves her. Isabel is quite capable of loving him…"

"But she doesn't?"

"She loves you, which I am sure you already know." Cecille frowned. "But you don't love her, do you, Christian?"

"No," I lowered my head, ashamed.

"I thought so," Cecille moved my chin up to stare at me. "I did not do this to hurt you, Christian. You are a fine fellow, and someday you might be able to move on from Satine and find yourself a new lover. Isabel is not that woman. I will not let her face the same heartache I have went through, nor do I want Gregory to go through the same. Gregory is a wonderful man, Christian. I love him and mourn for him as you must for Satine. But I will die before I see him hurt because Isabel leaves him for a man who is still pining over a dead woman. Not when he _can_ be with Isabel."

"Do you expect me to have sympathy for you?" I glared at her words. "To have respect because you are throwing your love away? You tell me this so I might see you in different eyes. You want me to have sympathy because you feel like you are sacrificing _so much_ to just let destiny play its toll upon your Duke and Isabel. What kind of life are you living, Cecille?"

"That is none of your business," she snapped offensively. "Good day to you, Christian. Isabel is not present for visitors. Come back in the evening, but I cannot guarantee that she will be there."

"There's no guarantee for anything in this world," I grumbled before stuffing my hands in my pockets and walking away.

* * *

"Out?" I took a step back to allow his words to register. "As in out with Paris socialites? Mingling with moneybags? Dining with nobles?"

"Isn't it just _dreadful_?" Gregory grinned. "The people are quite dull, but I'll be there. The opera we are to see is splendid as well."

"I've never so much as stepped in the Paris Opera House."

"The largest opera house in the world."

"You know I detest fancying up for the sake of being taken seriously."

"It is only for one night."

"Must I be giddy and sophisticated and completely charming all night long?"

"It matters not to me, as long as I can spend every moment with you."

"Should I be coquettish and coy?"

"Only to me," Gregory teased. "I would prefer _mon amour _to stay exclusively with me. I would like the other men to realize that. You are not an object of lust, _beau._ You are _mon ange _and should not be treated as anything less."

"I do not deserve you," guilt possessed me over what I had engaged in the previous night. "You are far too good to me."

"Well… I love you." Gregory held my hands and kissed them as if I was the most fragile being in the world. "You are priceless. More precious than all the diamonds and gems in the world. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I hope I can make you happy."

"Just agree to go to the opera with me. We can start with that."

"Of course I'll go. You do not even have to ask."

"You are amazing," Gregory grinned at me, his love completely reflected in his eyes. "You make it so easy to fall in love."

"Why do you love me?" I asked softly. "I cannot fathom why, out of all the women in Paris… in the world… you would choose me. Why me? Why Ziddler's penniless niece of the Moulin Rouge?"

"_Maybe it's intuition_

_Some things you just don't question_

_And in your eyes_

_I see my future in an instant_

_And there it goes_

_I think I've found my best friend_." (1)

Guilt seized by body as Gregory professed his love to me. How could I set aside his honest love for the chance- the night- to spend with Christian?

"_I know that it might sound_

_More than a little crazy_

_But I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life_." (1)

"_There's just no rhyme or reason_

_Only a sense of completion_

_And in your eyes_

_I see my missing pieces_

_And searching for_

_I think I found my way home_." (1)

I returned his song, singing the tune in a melancholy fashion that got further ruined as I began to cry. Gregory held me close to him, humming his love song to me.

No longer did I hear his singing though…

…pressed against his chest, it was overpowered by the beating of his heart.

* * *

"Is Isabel here?"

"She is out with the Duke Ambler still," I shrugged, staring at a cracked ceiling atop Isabel's decrepit bed, more dust and dirt than feathers. "He took her to the Paris Opera."

"Does she have any intentions to see me?"

"None that I have heard of," I looked over and smirked at his doubt. "That's the honest truth this time."

"Shouldn't you be performing tonight, or have you forgotten you are The Sparkling Diamond?"

"I am too tired to deal with men tonight," I commented. "Ziddler understands since I am what is getting his niece engaged to the Duke. My purpose as Isabel's tutor exceeds that of being a Moulin Rouge courtesan."

"So we are both spending our evening alone, in heartache over our _bien-aimé_ being with someone else?" Christian laughed. "We are not very different, you and I."

"I suppose," I nodded, motioning for him to sit with me upon the bed, although I was unsure if the bed had enough durability to hold us both up. "Both turned away. Both mourning over lost loves."

"You must hate me," he buried his face in his hands. "I led Isabel on. I wanted her because she allowed me the chance to write again. My reasons for being with her were selfish. I still love Satine. I cannot get over her. Just being in the Moulin Rouge again. Roaming halls and rooms I have grown so accustomed to. It is overwhelming."

"All my life I have loved Gregory. It seemed he loved every woman but me. A passerby in the street. A musician who could not hit the right key once. A maid who would sneak away whenever she could to do God only knows what. I would look at these women and ask what it was that they had that I lacked. Why did I look at them and see them for who they were, when Gregory saw mysterious Goddesses that intrigued him? It shall drive me insane until I take upon a grave."

"Might you tell him how you feel?"

"It would be of no use. I am engaged to his cousin. I thought I would have nothing to lose. Married into his family, it seemed the closest I would be to Gregory would be to marry his cousin. It mattered not at the time that I did not love Edmund. I only saw the opportunity to be closer to Gregory, and seized the moment. It was not until Gregory told me of love and how wonderful it was that I was in love that I realized the extent of my actions. Edmund is dull as can be. I cannot last over a few minutes without dozing off at his somniferous talking. I knew I could not marry Edmund. Then I knew I could not condemn myself to such a life, when I only wished to be with Gregory."

"Satine showed me what it meant to be in love. Our future… our love… was denied by the Moulin Rouge and the sickness that took her life. Now the Moulin Rouge is denying me a love I might have once more. I can never escape it."

"I wish a man might look at me as Gregory looks at all the women he has ever loved. The passerby. The musician. The maid. How he gazes at Isabel now. I have been with so many men. Had them look at me with lust. Call me beautiful. Gorgeous. Pretty. But no matter how many names… now many compliments… never have I seen a man look at me as Gregory has gazed at those women."

"Just look at us," Christian chuckled. "We are a complete mess. Lost within a love we will never have."

"You're right," I joined in his laughter, slapping his back. "We are not that different after all."

It was true that misery loves company.

* * *

1. Savage Garden "I Knew I Loved You" 


	18. The Beginning Of A Conspiracy

**AN: **Hopefully I will post the next chapter tomorrowso you all are not left in the dark as to what might happen. Much thanks to _littlelottie_ for pointing out my lack of French. Unfortunately, I am not fluent in French. Was thinking of you, _Modesty_, while writing this chapter. Had to have some reference to POTO in this chapter. Perhaps I can incorporate little bits of it here and there, and have more setting around the opera… ; )Please keep reviewing everyone! It is so awesome knowing people out there are reading and enjoying this. You guys keep me going.

* * *

**Chapter 18. The Beginning Of A Conspiracy**

Gregory came for me just as the sun was setting. Clad in a silken dress and a head of ringlets, I was unrecognizable to myself. Fear pumped through my body like blood as Gregory stared at me.

Did he know who I was?

"Isn't dressing up fun?" Gregory brought my hand to his lips cordially. "I am sure all of the women and men of tonight shall find you a sight to compare to."

"Let us just hope that the mask on my face isn't smudged away during the evening," I joked, referring to the tons of powder and such Cecille had applied to my face. "Not a freckle in sight, you know."

"I rather enjoy your freckles, _mon amour_." Gregory remarked, locking arms with me, and proceeding on in a rather orderly fashion I had seen several noble couples doing on a daily basis. Will we end up like them? Will I allow such a matter to occur? "And, someday, I plan to kiss every single one of them."

"Not very gentlemanly of you to say," I commented back, blushing as a man held the door for a carriage. "Good evening, Monsieur."

"Good day to you, Mademoiselle." He tipped his hat, the stairs of entering the carriage exposed.

Holding Gregory's hand, I stepped forward. Upon moving my second leg upon the threshold, I lost balance and my foot hit the ground once more. My action was preceded by a large ripping sound and, looking down, my dress had torn to reveal my ankle.

"It is nothing," Gregory reassured, helping me in with more care this time. When the door had closed and the driver started towards the opera, he began to laugh. "I love you so much, Isabel. You make even nights such as this, when I must become like a suit of armor-polished and stiff- seem enchanting and humorous. Life does not seem so dreadful and meaningless when I am with you, _ma belle._"

"I am glad one of us can see the humor in the situation," I replied weakly. "I can only imagine the expression on my Uncle's face when I return with this gown completely ruined. I doubt this fall shall be the last of tonight."

"No matter how many times you may fall, _mon amour._" Gregory grabbed my hands and leaned forward. "I will always be there to catch you."

"It would be dreadfully wrong if we were to arrive with my lips printed across your face," I giggled. "I shall have to remember to kiss you later for such flattering words."

"What a sight it might be if we were to arrive as so!" Gregory grinned, quite amused with the idea. "I can just imagine the look upon dear Edmund's face!"

"Edmund?" I looked up. "He shall be there?"

"My cousin is quite drawn towards the opera," Gregory told me. "He comes quite frequently. My family is a very musical family, Isabel. We all are completely infatuated with music. You will soon grow to learn that, if you have not already."

"Nothing wrong with a little music," I shrugged helplessly, offering him a weak smile.

"There is about ten minutes before we arrive," Gregory said before kissing me softly. "I think we can look decent by the time the driver opens our doors."

I responded by deepening the kiss.

That was the fastest ten minutes of my life.

* * *

While Christian and Cecille basked in misery together and Isabel and Gregory kissed intimately behind the curtains of a private opera box, Edmund Ambler met with Harold Ziddler.

Concealed behind curtains and the shadows of Ziddler's box, opposite of Gregory's, both men could easily observe the moving shadows as the curtain swayed back and forth.

A frown was plastered upon Edmund Ambler, although the shadows of his topcoat hid the anger that was evoked within his eyes. He was in every aspect almost identical to Gregory, except his face lacked the blithe and altruistic behavior of his cousin's. Turning his sharp gaze away from his cousin, he looked at Ziddler and spoke in a low voice.

"I do not like the idea of Gregory with a commoner, Ziddler." He remarked. "I do not care if she is your niece. She has no money. Nothing to offer my cousin. She is a charming creature, but moths are easily ignited when playing within the illumination of fire. She will be consumed in no time by society."

"He loves her, Edmund." Ziddler said.

"And Cecille?" he inquired. "Do not think I have forgotten of her. She is my fiancé after all. When shall _she_ be returning to me."

"Cecille is still… working for Isabel."

"I do not like the idea of Cecille being lose, Ziddler." He growled. "I do not like other men toying with what is rightfully mine and mine alone. I suggest you find yourself a new whore, otherwise the funds for the Moulin Rouge will be taken away and you and your niece shall have to go far away to find shelter. For I doubt anyone within Paris would take in a man of a whorehouse and his penniless niece, no matter how charming she may be."

"What do you want me to do, Edmund?"

"I want this little love of my cousin's to go away," he wrinkled his nose, pulling out a handkerchief. "Do away with her by whatever means necessary. She is the root of all my problems nonetheless. She is corrupting my cousin _and_ she keeps my fiancé away from me. When Isabel is gone, I shall require you to send my cousin and Cecille back to me. To my home. Where they both should be in the first place."

"And the Moulin Rouge?"

"You shall have your money," Edmund pulled out a stack of francs tied together with a black ribbon. "But I expect haste from you, Ziddler. No delay. No intermissions. This is not one of your amateur plays that you can easily improvise with."

"I understand completely," Ziddler nodded before leaving Edmund alone in the box to glare at his cousin across the opera.

* * *

"An enchanting creature," the late Duchess told her son. "Quite amiable, and nothing like those boisterous heathens most young girls are at that age. She is very sweet, Gregory."

"And you cousin?" Gregory wondered. "How did you find Isabel?"

"I do not approve of you calling her that."

"It is her name."

"And I do not approve of her calling you by Gregory."

"It is my name."

"You are a Duke. Why allow anyone to address you as less?"

"I will not have the love of my life call me by anything but my God-given name. For once we marry, we shall be one and the same."

"She is garbage."

"Edmund!" the Duchess exclaimed.

"Aunt, it is true. Beggars on the street own more than she."

"I love her."

"What has she to offer you? Her love? Does she even love you? As far as you know, she could be with other men."

"I trust Isabel."

"Love blinds you."

"How would you know?" Gregory challenged.

"What is between me and Cecille needs not to be touched."

"The same applies to Isabel and myself."

"Talk son sense into your son."

"I find Isabel to be perfect for my son, Edmund. Never has he been happier. Surely you have noticed the change."

"She will be his end," Edmund grumbled.

_Unless Ziddler keeps his word…_

* * *

"_I can feel the magic floating in the air_

_Being with you gets me that way_

_I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've_

_Never been this swept away_

_All my thoughts seem to settle on the breeze_

_When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms_

_The whole world just fades away_

_The only thing I hear_

_Is the beating of your heart,_" (1)

I sang to myself as Gregory rode away in his carriage.

Nothing could have prepared me for tonight. My day with Gregory had begun with him singing a promise and consoling me. Hearing his heart pound as I cried upon his chest, I had no doubt of his love. Gregory would provide me with all the love a man could possibly offer.

The ride there I was greeted with his reassuring words filled with honesty and promise. So much promise. He offered me the world, and yet I would resist. But his persistence. His complete devotion. It drew me to him the more. I love him for loving me. I love the idea of him.I love him for accepting me as I am and not leaving me within the shadows, guessing his true intentions. I knew his intentions. I knew he wished to marry me and would spend his life with me, probably with even more love and devotion than he already expressed to me.

He waited only for my answer…

Even now I could not guess why he might love me. He gives no explanation. I fascinated him. Something about me drew him towards who I was. What was it? Why could Christian not see it?

But I cannot wait for Christian forever. I grow tired of him not letting go. I cannot compare to Satine. I am plain as can be. I am no Goddess. No special talent. Yet Gregory accepts me. Why should I give up something so great for an opportunity to be with someone, especially when it is not even guaranteed that it shall last?

I know that if I agree to Gregory's proposal, he shall love me past death. Would Christian do the same? Did he even love me now?

I do not wish to risk it…

…though I still have not agreed to marry Gregory.

"Isabel," Ziddler approached me as I contemplated my future actions.

Would I proceed on loving Christian as he has loved Satine, or do I let him go and give into Gregory's love?

"My dear child," he set a hand upon my shoulder, and I closed my eyes, knowing nothing good would come from my Uncle's words. "There is much we need to discuss."

Turning from his touch, I ignored his repetition of my name. How could Ziddler take the splendor of the night and fill the air with such tension and drear.

"Isabel!" Ziddler seized me, turning me to face him. Upon seeing my eyes blaze at him with an internal fire, I saw his gaze retreat. "My child, I did not mean to disturb you. It is only that the Duke Ambler will be on business for the next week, and will be unable to visit."

"Business? Gregory told me of no engagements."

"It was immediate," Ziddler explained. "Edmund told me of the matter while you and the Duke were enjoying the opera. Edmund is probably informing Gregory of this business as we speak."

"Did you enjoy the opera, Uncle?"

"The opera? Oh yes, the opera. It was fantastic. Stupendous. A true capture of the Bohemian spirit!"

"Really?" I concealed my laughter. "Did you enjoy the star of the performance?"

"La Carlotta is a very talented woman."

"She was not cast tonight."

"Why… of course she wasn't."

"A new girl took her role. Have you heard of her?"

"Of course."

"She is quite young. A beautiful girl. Probably no older than myself, I suppose. Do you remember her name, Uncle?"

"Her name?" I grew amused at his improvising. "It was… I believe… well… I think it to be Madame Felicity?"

"Felicity?" I laughed. "What an odd name, when it was Christine."

"Oh yes, Christine." Ziddler joined in. "How could I forget?"

"Are you taking me home?"

"I have other… engagements… tonight." He handed me some money. "Just hail a cab, and I shall see you tomorrow."

"How odd it shall be for me to ride a carraige alone, Uncle. Especially when I have never been to the opera house before, and I know not the way back to the Moulin Rouge."

"You are a smart girl, Isabel." Ziddler patted my shoulder with a grin. "I am sure you can find your way back home."

But did I want to go home?

"Goodnight, Uncle."

He was already gone.

"Where to, Mademoiselle?"

"Take me to where Duke Ambler resides."

There was much to be said before this night was through…

* * *

1. Faith Hill "Breathe" 


	19. In A Predicament

**AN: **Sorry that I did not post this chapter the next day. Had to take a 4 hour long test, and then went out for dinner afterwards with friends. Lame excuse, I know, but now that most of the activities I am in are at its end, I shall be able to post more often. Thanks again to reviewers. Please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 19. In A Predicament**

"Isabel?" Gregory greeted me with perplexity as he stood atop a grand staircase at my figure in the entrance hall. "What are you doing… are you alright?

"We must talk," I stepped towards him, rushing up the stairs. "I think something might be…"

"Yes, we do need to talk." Gregory grabbed my hand and led me down a corridor into a room that appeared to be a study, full of shelves of books lining the walls, numerous chairs, and a great fireplace with a large fire still spewing smoke. "Isabel, I will be leaving soon."

"Leaving?" I tried to come off as shocked.

"Yes," he nodded, his grip on my hand tightening. "But I shall be thinking of you every moment."

"Where are you off to?"

"Edmund told me that he has plans of investing in something related to music, and is in need of my assistance. I shall be gone for a week with my cousin, _mon amour_, but not a day longer."

"I think Ziddler has some plans…"

"Ziddler?" Gregory questioned.

"It… I… he…" I shook my head, unable to express myself.

"It is a stressful time, _ma belle_. Monsieur Ziddler recently told me of your position."

"My _position_?"

"Oui," he replied. "He just left before you arrived, explaining that the reason you were not agreeing to an engagement was because you were still in love with another man. I understand completely. I am not angry with you for how you feel, Isabel. I love you. I shall wait. I only ask for you to try. To grow to love me. How I wish to be with you…"

"You know…" I felt weak, my vulnerability revealed.

"Ziddler told me of your heartbreak," he went on. "I can understand your emotions, Isabel. I realize this is not the best moment to speak of my intentions, when you are still not completely sure of your feelings for me, but I cannot leave knowing that you are left in such a state. I want you to know I shall be there for you. That you have a man who loves you for who you are, and will do all he can to make you happy. I did not ask for your Uncle's permission yet, but I was wondering if you might…"

"…let me explain myself."

"Isabel," Gregory held my hands to his lips, looking into my eyes with such intensity, I kept my mouth shut. "There is plenty of time for explanation later. I must be heard. I must know before I leave. Marry me."

* * *

For hours Christian and me talked late into the night about love. Most of the time we did not make sense and rambled on like drunkards. But just being in his arms… having someone there to listen to my words, as pathetic as they must have sound… was the closest feeling to contentment I had ever experienced. 

Now rested upon Isabel's bed on my side, my back to the door, I smiled at the sound of Christian's easy breaths of slumber. He had talked himself straight to sleep. Looking at his face, at how his face had this subtle smile plastered on while he slept, I wished to just kiss him tenderly.

"Thank you… for being there." I whispered to him, brushing aside his hair and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Cecille!"

* * *

"Isabel?" Cecille sat upon instantaneously, exclaiming. "I… did you enjoy the opera?" 

"What?" Christian lifted himself up at the commotion, scratching his head. The first thing he saw was Cecille, and smiled. "Hello."

"What is going on?" my hands sought my hips as I watched Christian's eyes focus on me.

"Isabel?" Christian's eyes went wide as he looked from Cecille to me, like a little child caught stealing. "This… it is not what you may think."

"Oh please, don't mind me." I held out my hands, retreating to the door. "Don't mind me."

"Isabel!" Christian stood up, rushing to the door.

Slamming my room shut, I ran off, too engulfed in hurt and upset to remember to pick up the bottoms of my dress.

Escaping into the chilled night, the slap of the icy breeze felt like nothing against my numb body. So many thoughts raced through my head. So many ideas. Situations. Explanations.

Christian and Cecille…

…in my room.

Tears filled my eyes as I walked down the street, my head bent low to conceal my cries.

"Isabel?"

Looking up, I saw Toulouse looking down me from out of a window of a motel that appeared more abandoned than occupied. I stood where I was for a few minutes as Toulouse raced down to meet me, clad in a scarlet outfit that was no doubt a costume for whatever play he was to perform in.

"What is wrong, my petite?"

"I… is… can I stay at your place for the night?"

"If you need somewhere to sleep, of course." Toulouse held me close to console me, although I giggled at how he barely came to my shoulder, as he led me to him room. "What has happened?"

"_I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll_

_I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds_

_But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to_

_Lost all faith in the things I have achieved_

_And I_

_I've woken now to find myself_

_In the shadows of all I have created_

_I'm longing to be lost in you_

_(away from this place I have made)_

_Won't you take me away from me_," (1)

I choked, about to collapse upon entering Toulouse's motel room, illuminated by numerous candles scattered throughout. Kept on my feet by a hidden strength within Toulouse's small frame, he led me to a mattress on the floor that was filled with velvet pillows and sheets of dark violet and crimson.

"What has happened, Isabel?" Toulouse repeated as I curled up on a ball, crying. "I will try to understand, but you must tell me."

I closed my eyes, wishing to leave this horrid sense of reality, but each time I did so, I saw them… on my bed… Cecille kissing Christian. Could I describe that image to Toulouse? Would I want to relive it by telling it?

"Do not worry, my petite." Toulouse bent down and patted my back, letting me know that although everything around me was breaking down, he was still solid. "Whatever it is that you are feeling, it shall go away with time."

Biting my lips to suppress my cries and tears, I shook my head, my body becoming tighter.

"Perhaps you shall feel better in the morning, oui?" Toulouse asked, waiting my answer.

When he was about to walk out of the room, I stood up and let my voice be heard.

"Please do not tell Christian where I am."

"Oui, my petite." Toulouse nodded and smiled. "We shall talk of the matter in the morning."

Surrounded now in darkness and the sounds of the night as all else proceeded on without me, I cried helplessly to myself. No thoughts went through my head as sobbed. No happiness. No sadness. Just an emptiness that engrossed the very fiber or my being.

"Never knew I could feel like this…" I lamented, as my future became as dark as the night sky. (2)

* * *

1. Evanescence "Away From Me" 

2. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"


	20. I Hope You Don't Mind That I Put Down In...

**AN: **Here's a long chapter for you guys. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 20. I Hope You Don't Mind That I Put Down In Words**

I needed to find her.

She had stormed off in such haste I had lost her as soon as I had opened her bedroom door to race down the halls in pursuit.

Had I known that I would fall asleep during my fraternizing with Cecille, leaving Isabel to walk in on a scene that did not appear to be of the most appropriate nature, I would not have done so.

Was fortune ever on my side?

"No writing, Christian?" Toulouse entered my home, dressed in his red pajamas. "Have you lost your inspiration already?"

"Isabel is upset at me," I ran my hands through my hair and bowed my head. "I do not know what to do. She ran off, and I have no idea where she could have went."

"Do you know what you did to make her upset?"

"She walked in on Cecille and me."

"I did not know you had something…"

"I don't," I interrupted, sighing. "We were talking. I fell asleep. I do not know what Cecille did, but I woke up to shouting and Isabel storming off."

"Did you ask Cecille?"

"Yes," I answered. "Cecille told me that she was merely sitting up when Isabel walked in and began to shout."

"Is that all?"

"She's out there, Toulouse. What if something horrible happens to her? I will feel responsible."

"So… you are hoping she is alright so you shall not feel guilty?"

"No, that is _not _what I'm saying! I… it isn't so simple. I don't want Isabel to feel bad towards me. I cannot have her feeling like that towards me. She is not safe wandering Paris. There are people who would take advantage of her. When I first met her… men were pressing themselves to her. I could not live to have such men after her again. I..."

"Do you not think Isabel already feels bad about you?"

"Isabel… I do not want to think so."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I have… there is nothing I have… what reason has she to be mad at me?"

"Why can you not admit you care about her, Christian?"

"What is so imperative in me saying so?" I snapped. "Everything was going well enough with us, Toulouse. When we were together last night… we had plans! How am I at fault? I have been trying to see Isabel all day and she did not once try to contact me. I have been inquiring about her all day. The only reason I was with Cecille was because I was waiting for Isabel's return. I fell asleep. Isabel walked in and assumed the worse and is probably roaming the streets of Paris as we speak."

"It seems you are more upset over Isabel proceeding on without you than you are about her being mad at you, oui?"

"What is so wrong with that?"

"You were just telling me this morning you could not love her. Is it so wrong that she is able to move on with her life from heartache, when you are so unable?"

"Why are you preaching to me?"

"Do you love Isabel?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Christian." Toulouse stared at me firmly. "Do you love Isabel?"

"Of course!" I shouted. "Why would I be like this if I were not? Why would I spend my days pursuing her? Why would I be writing endlessly about her smile? Her movements? Her words? She is what is keeping me going in this world, Toulouse. I have not stepped into a pub since the day I met her. I have had no need for company. Isabel is all the company I need. What kind of ridiculous question is _that_?"

"What was so hard in saying that, Christian?" Toulouse grinned smugly.

"Did I… did I just_say_ that?" I felt myself paling at my sudden outburst.

"It was about time you admitted to it," Toulouse patted my back. "Isabel is in my room, hopefully sleeping by now. She is a wreck, Christian, but I pray you are now willing to not contribute to her hurt, oui?"

I did not need to verbally reply to his question. My departure from my home at top speed was answer enough.

* * *

My tears spent, I sat up and allowed my legs to touch the floor as I rested my hands behind me and leaned my head back, my eyes closed.

"_So directionless, I head into oblivion_

_And then I decide to give another random memory,_

_To remind her of the first time we sang out to the sea_

_Oh Isabel, you always understood me,_

_Please, Isabel, forgive me now."_ (1)

Hearing his voice, I sat up straighter, drawing my knees to my chest and hugging them close. He could not have found me. I cannot face him. Not this soon. Not like this…

"_…and all the questions_

_Come running through my mind_

_Will I see this another way_

_The simple truth is I'm falling_

_Falling down_

_And I don't want to drag you_

_Through the bottom_

_No I don't want to drag you_

_Through the bottom." _(1)

I could hear him close the door and advance towards me. Each step was taken slowly, as if awaiting me to turn around and attack him.

"_I wanted you to be with me_

_For so long I don't even know by now_

_But now that I've given up on you_

_Defiantly you see me." _(2)

I sang back my pain and sorrow in warning, but he continued.

"_It still feels like our first night together_

_Feels like the first kiss_

_It's getting better baby_

_No one can better this_

_Still holding on_

_You're still the one." _(3)

_"Walking away I see the pain_

_You put me through_

_Lost in your game to change the same_

_Forever gone, forever you." _(2)

"_First time our eyes met_

_Same feeling I get_

_Only feels much stronger_

_I wanna love you longer_

_Do you still turn the fire on?"_ (3)

"_There's something very wrong about this_

_I think you knew all along somehow_

_You'll only take me to change my mind_

_Lonely, broken, and defeated._" (2)

"_So if you're feeling lonely, don't_

_You're the only one I'll ever want_

_I only want to make it go_

_So if I love you a little more than I should…" _(3)

"_So far away I see the truth_

_I see through you_

_Now that I know the way you play_

_I don't want to."_ (2)

"_Please forgive me, I know not what I do_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you_

_Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through_

_Please forgive me, if I need you like I do_

_Please believe me, every word I say is true_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you._" (3)

"_Walking away I see the pain_

_You put me through_

_Lost in your game to change the same_

_Forever gone, forever you."_ (2)

_"Still feels like our best times are together_

_Feels like the first touch_

_Still getting closer baby_

_Can't get closer enough_

_Still holding on_

_You're still number one_

_I remember the smell of your skin_

_I remember everything_

_I remember all the moves_

_I remember you yeah_

_I remember the nights, you know I still do." _(3)

At the end of my singing, Christian had stopped before the mattress I sat on. Now he moved upon it, resting his hands lightly on my shoulders toturnmakemeturn andlook around. When he had succeeded, he grabbed my hands and kissed them.

"_So if you're feeling lonely, don't_

_You're the only one I'll ever want_

_I only want to make it go_

_So if I love you a little more than I should…_

_Please forgive me, I know not what I do_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you_

_Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through_

_Please forgive me, if I need you like I do_

_Please believe me, every word I say is true_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you."_ (3)

"_I thought that dreams belonged to other men_

_'Cause each time I got close_

_They'd fall apart again." _(4)

"_The one thing I'm sure of_

_Is the way we make love_

_The one thing I depend on_

_Is for us to stay strong_

_With every word and every breath I'm praying_

_That's why I'm saying…_

_Please forgive me, I know not what I do_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you_

_Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through_

_Please forgive me, if I need you like I do_

_Babe believe me, every word I say is true_

_Please forgive me, if I can't stop loving you_

_No, believe, I don't know what I do_

_Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you._

_I can't stop… loving you…" _(3)

"_I feared my heart would be in secrecy_

_I faced the nights alone_

_Oh, how could I have known_

_That all my life I only needed you?" _(4)

_"Hold me now_

_It's hard for me to say I'm sorry_

_I just want you to stay_

_After all that we've been through,_

_I will make it up to you_

_I promise to_

_And after all that's been said and done_

_You're just the part of me I can't let go." _(5)

"_Whoa_

_Almost paradise_

_We're knockin' on heaven's door_

_Almost paradise_

_How could we ask for more?_

_I swear that I can see forever in your eyes_

_Paradise." _(4)

"_Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body_

_Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love_

_Hold me now_

_It's hard for me to say I'm sorry_

_I just want you to know_

_Hold me now_

_I really want to tell you I'm sorry_

_I could never let you go." _(5)

_"And in your arms salvation's not so far away_

_It's getting closer_

_Closer every day."_ (4)

"_After all that we've been through_

_I will make it up to you_

_I promise to_

_And after all that's been said and done_

_You're just the part of me I can't let go."_ (5)

"_It's almost paradise_

_We're knockin' on heaven's door_

_Almost paradise_

_How could we ask for more_

_I swear that I can see forever in your eyes_

_Paradise."_ (4)

"_After all that we've been through_

_I will make it up to you_

_I promise to_

_You're gonna be the lucky one." _(5)

Pulling me to my feet, we stepped off the mattress onto the floor as our voices entwined once more.

"_Whoa_

_Almost paradise_

_We're knockin' on heaven's door_

_Almost paradise_

_How could we ask for more_

_I swear that I can see forever in your eyes_

_Paradise_

_Paradise_

_Paradise._" (5)

"_Oh Isabel, you always understood me,_

_Please, Isabel, forgive me now._" (1)

"Hello Christian," I smiled to myself as the tears I thought were no more came. "_It's a little bit funny. This feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide. Don't have much money. But, boy, if I did. I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor, but then again, no, or a man. Who makes potions in the traveling show. I know it's not much but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one's for you. And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple but now that it's done. I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. That I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world."_ (6)

"Hello Isabel," he returned my smile. "_I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss. Well I few of the verses. Well, they've got me quite cross. But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song. It's for people like you that keep it turned on. So excuse me forgetting. But these things I do. You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue. Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen. And you can tell everybody. This is your song. It may be quite simple. But now that it's done. I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. That I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world. I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't. That I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world."_ (6)

"_And I will always love you,"_ I told him. "_Will always love you_." (7)

"I hope Toulouse does not walk in on us tonight…"

Christian did not allow me a moment to laugh at the thought as we kissed and allowed our passion to come.

* * *

1. Ben Jelen "Falling Down"

2. Evanescence "Forever Gone, Forever You"

3. Bryan Adams "Please Forgive Me"

4. Ann Wilson & Mike Reno "Almost Paradise"

5. Chicago "Hard To Say I'm Sorry"

6. Elton John "Your Song"

7. Whitney Houston "I Will Always Love You"


	21. Engagement Matters

**AN: **Thank you to reviewers once more. Glad you guys are enjoying it. Please keep reviewing and giving me your imput on it. I love you all more than a bookshelf loves its books. Inside joke. : D

* * *

**Chapter 21. Engagement Matters**

"_You are so beautiful_," Christian sang when I opened my eyes to the morning sun. "_You are so beautiful to me. Can't you see?" (1) _

"And you are too much sometimes," I grinned, kissing him as his arms pulled me closer. "Where do we go from now?"

"Good question," he kissed me back, deepening the kiss. "We can take off where we left…"

"There is still so much we need to talk about."

"You and all this talking…"

"As if you do not have questions to ask as well!" I argued, pulling away in defiance. "Or have you forgotten all that occurred yesterday?"

"I am not together with Cecille," he propped himself up on his elbows. "I was waiting for you to return. I had been trying to meet you all day. Cecille and me began to talk, and I fell asleep."

"We need to talk of Satine," I held my strength as the mention of her name had Christian's eyes closed. "Please, Christian… we must talk of her."

"I loved her," Christian said. "She opened the gates of this world of love I had never been to before, and then left me to fend for myself. We were denied our love from the Moulin Rouge… from the Duke… from Ziddler… and she died before we could make way and leave."

"_When I'm lost in the rain_

_In your eyes I know_

_I'll find the light to light my way_

_When I'm scared, losing ground_

_When my world is going crazy_

_You can turn it all around and when I'm down you're there_

_Pushing me to the top_

_You're always there giving me all you've got."_ (2)

"Why do you sing to me now, Isabel?" Christian smiled weakly. "I thought you said that we should talk."

"_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_I turn to you."_ (2)

"Isabel, you are driving me mad." Christian kissed my knuckles, his hands reaching for my face. "Please…"

"_When I lose the will to win_

_I just reach for you_

_And I can reach the sky again_

_I can do anything_

_'Cause you love is so amazing_

_'Cause your love inspires me_

_And when I need a friend_

_You're always on my side_

_Giving me faith_

_Taking me through the night."_ (2)

"You are too good to me, _mon amour_." Christian pressed me against him as he hugged me tightly. "You show me what it is like to love again."

Love again…

His words could not have been sweeter.

"_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you."_ (2)

"I am in love with you, Isabel." Christian admitted, his grip become stronger and stronger. "I only want to spend my life with you, _mon amour._"

Moving out of his arms, I bit my lip, his words filling me with joy and sadness at the same time. How did I manage for this to happen?

"_For the arms to be my shelter_

_Through all the rain_

_For truth that will never change_

_For someone to lean on_

_For a heart I can rely on through anything_

_For that on who I can run to…"_ (2)

"You do not need to say more," Christian hushed me, pulling me into his arms again and kissing my cheek. "I do not doubt your love, Isabel."

"I do not deserve this…" I murmured.

"Of course you do," Christian kissed my other cheek. "We have the future ahead of us, Isabel. Let us forget the errors of the past. The pains. The sorrow. We can spend the rest of our lives together. I do not plan to ruin my second chance of love."

"We… can't…" I shook my head. "Christian… it cannot work."

"Cannot?" Christian was taken aback. "Why can it not work out? I am sure that we both wish it to."

"I've made a horrid mess of the situation…"

"Do not say such things. You are not alone in this, Isabel. I shall be there. I cannot let you go."

"Christian…" I took a deep breath, hating myself for allowing such things to come to this. "Gregory proposed last night to me, and I accepted."

* * *

"Engaged?" Edmund gasped, standing up and hitting his head upon the ceiling of the carriage. "Gregory, are you sure your actions are wise? You barely know the girl."

"I know enough to want to spend my life with her."

"You are going to be gone for a week," Edmund reminded. "She… there are plenty of opportunities for her to flee. For her to go gallivanting off with all sorts of men."

"I trust her, Edmund. Why can you not do the same?"

"Because I do not like her!"

_Ziddler was far better at improvising…_

"Perhaps you need to give her a chance?"

"A chance? What need do I? I know already that she is trash. That she will ruin this family name and everything we stand for. Our reputation. Our fame. Everything shall be lost because of her. I know this already. I've seen such things happen with families in similar positions."

"Isabel is not out there for any of that," Gregory shook his head. "Get to know her. She is a wonderful lady. Everyone who meets her ends up liking her."

"That is because she puts a spell on them. She charms them like a regular witch so they are all blinded from their sense."

"It seems you have lost your sense, cousin."

"Do not talk to me like that!" Edmund snapped.

"I wish I had your support in my decision, Edmund." Gregory told him calmly. "Isabel is the world to me now, and I cannot imagine life without her. Would you rather send me to the grave then see her with me?"

"Oui," Edmund nodded. "Anything is better than seeing you with such trash."

Gregory tapped on the door of the carriage, and it soon came to a stop. When it was safe to exit, Gregory saluted his cousin and stepped out.

"Goodbye cousin," Gregory remarked before closing the door and leaving Edmund all alone.

"I will _not _let this happen," Edmund growled to himself as he watched his cousin walk away. "I _shall_ get my way, no matter what I have to do. Driver... take me to the Moulin Rouge."

* * *

1. Joe Cocker "You Are So Beautiful"

2. Christina Aguilera "I Turn To You"


	22. Confronting Errors Of The Past

**AN: **Warning that there are some forms of violence and implications of other occurences that are not of the most amiable nature. Sorry the chapter is kinda short, butI shall try to make it up by writing a rather long chapter next. Probably going to have to with the conflict soon to come. ; D Please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 22. Confronting Errors Of The Past**

"Cecille?"

The sound of his voice had my back go rigid from where I stood viewing the rehearsal of a performance from Isabel's room. How that voice had followed me around since I left. How it haunted me since.

"Are you going to pretend you are only hearing voices now?"

Was this a dream… or reality?

"I see… just pretend you don't hear your love enter the room. Always playing some part, my dear. Are you ever going to acknowledge what it is we ask of you?"

"Hello Edmund," I bit my lip, fighting tears.

Never did I expect to see him again…

Never did I think I would acknowledge his presence again...

How did he find me?

"Did you forget we were engaged?" I could hear him approaching as goosebumps came. "I have been waiting for your return for far too long, Cecille."

"How… how did you find me?" I trembled when he touched my shoulder, his breath lingering against my neck.

"Word spreads fast around Paris," I did not need to see him to know that he was smirking. "When I heard talk of an exceptional beauty in the Moulin Rouge, I knew they were talking of you."

"Come now Edmund…" I shook my head. "Do me the decency to tell me the truth."

"I will tell you how I find you…" he trailed off as he grabbed a lock of my hair and twirled it around with a finger. "…if you tell me why you left."

"I… cannot." I bit harder upon my lip, not allowing myself the moment to say anything further.

"Have I been so horrid, Cecille?" Edmund questioned. "Was it so dreadfully terrible of me to take what was rightfully mine? What _should_ be likely mine?"

I nodded, awaiting the strike to come upon my head and flinching subconsciously.

I only received a laugh.

"Flinching already?" Edmund chuckled. "What were expecting from me, Cecille? Was there something that I forgot to give you?"

"How did you find me?" I pressed, my voice hushed.

"Ah… yes… I remember what it was that I forgot…"

One blow to the side of my face had me tasting blood when I bit down harder upon my lip. When he turned me around, his hands burning his fingerprints upon my flesh, I did not allow tears to come.

Not when he sent a few more hits across my body…

Not when he had me on the floor…

Not when he began to kick me with all his strength…

Not when he pressed his body against me… to take me as a bruised and bloody mess…

"Go to your room, Cecille." Edmund ordered when he stood up and brushed his shoulders off. "I am done with you, for now. Do not leave. I shall have your supper delivered to you, even if I personally have to do it."

Not saying a word, I fought the pain that seized my body, making my knees wobble and my head race.

"It was nice to be with you once more, Cecille." Edmund grinned nefariously. "It is nice to know that I have what is rightfully mine back again. Hopefully nothing shall keep us apart again."

* * *

_"Cecille?" Edmund repeated for the third time in less than a minute. "Are you listening to me?"_

_"Uh… yes," I offered him a smile, which he took quite gladly. _

_"Are you excited as I in being married soon?"_

_Gregory sat in his armchair, a book in his lap, yet he allowed his gaze to linger on the passing maid. His cunning smile had me smiling, and I wanted to only laugh at his silliness._

_"Cecille!" Edmund laughed. "It seems like you are not here tonight."_

_The maid passed by once more, this time with a stack of towels that shielded her view. Yet she pursued on, walking with the utmost confidence, knowing exactly where she was going._

_"Let me help you, Mademoiselle." Gregory got up, his book falling to his feet, as he grabbed half of the towels. "It is not safe for a young lady to walk around unable to see where her feet might take her."_

_"Might you pay attention to me for one moment, Cecille?" Edmund asked with a lightheartedness that made me yawn. "Or are you in your daydreams once more?"_

_Would Gregory ever offer assistance if I needed help? If I was unable to see where my feet might possibly take me?_

_"Do you love me, Cecille?" Edmund pressed, growing agitated when I was too lost in my thoughts to reply. Seizing my shoulders, he shook me. "Cecille!"_

_"Oh… Edmund…" I set my hands atop his to cease the shaking, yet I was already growing dizzy. "Yes… of course."_

_I knew not what it was he was asking this time, nor did I ever know. I just knew that with Edmund, it mattered not if I made a huge speech in response to him. He only wanted to be agreed with. And acquiescence was something that my parents had cultivated me to master._

_"I cannot wait to be married," Edmund placed a hand on my cheek, but I felt nothing at his touch. "To be united as husband and wife. I shall make a queen of you, Cecille."_

_"Are you near done with your work?" Gregory questioned the maid when she returned to the same room. "Your work is never done? Well… I insist you take a break. I am sure you are capable of continuing, but everyone needs time to relax. Come… sit down… take my seat."_

_"Do you have nothing to say to me, Cecille?" Edmund made me turn until I gazed up at him. "I cannot believe that you will be marrying me. That you chose me. I feel so lucky."_

_"Yes…" I trailed off, jealousy getting the better at me when the maid rested in Gregory's armchair and he rested his chin upon the top, gazing down at her dreamily. _

_My jealousy made me forget I was still with Edmund until he kissed me, pressing himself upon me hard. Breaking away, I took a step back, more disgusted than anything._

_"Edmund!" I gasped. "What were you thinking?"_

_"We… you and I will soon be wed." Edmund tried to explain, his eyes wavering as a new emotion took over. "How can we last, Cecille, if you are repulsed by my touch? If you cannot accept my kisses?"_

_"Oh Edmund…" I covered my mouth, shame taking over. _

_"Do you love me?"_

_"Yes…" I said weakly, my eyes downcast._

_"Then why can I not kiss you?" Edmund walked towards me, backing me up away from the windows that allowed view to the balcony until my back was pressed against the wall in the far corner. "Why am I not allowed to touch you? To love you as I should be allowed to?"_

_"Edmund…" tears filled my eyes when he placed both hands on either side of my body, trapping me against the wall with him in front of me. _

_"You are beautiful, Cecille." Edmund told me before kissing me and pressing me harder against the wall. _

_When I fought against his body, his hands seized my arms and pressed them tightly. I grimaced and did not struggle anymore when he deepened his kiss. When his hands roamed my body._

_I know not what happened precisely after he pressed his body against mine, crushing me against the wall further…_

_My next memory was of being in my room, staring at the imprints of Edmund's hands upon my arms… the scratches the jagged pieces of stone had cut into my back when Edmund had pressed me against the wall._

_It was the first time he had taken advantage of me…_

_…but certainly not the last._

* * *

Walking to the Moulin Rouge with my hands entwined in Christian's, I took a deep breath.

I knew not what awaited me with Ziddler and Cecille and Gregory, but whatever might happen, I had Christian. And he would never let me fall again.

"Do not worry, _mon amour_." Christian whispered, placing a kiss on the side of my face. "I will not allow anything to happen to you."

"I just need to be strong…" I told myself when we opened the doors of the Moulin Rouge.

"Isabel!"

"Gregory," I let go of Christian's hand as we stepped apart and smiled while Gregory ran to greet us from across the street. "Back already?"

"I could not be apart with you for a week, _ma belle_." Gregory breathed heavily from running and grabbed my hands, placing them against his cheek. "I have missed you already, Isabel."

"And I…"

"Hello," Gregory's attention went towards Christian. "I am Gregory, Isabel's fiancé. Who are you, Monsieur?"

"Christian," he replied, smiling amiably. "I am… Isabel's voice instructor."

"Instructor?" Gregory turned back to me. "I thought you said you were never taught to sing?"

"Well…" I faltered.

"…not until recently, Monsieur." Christian interrupted. "It is a very recent matter. Very recent."

"Yes," I nodded. "Very recent."

"I see," Gregory released my hands to shake Christian's. "Please to meet you. I can only imagine how much more angelic Isabel's voice is now with your instruction. She is a regular songbird, oui?"

"A gorgeous voice," Christian agreed. "For a very gorgeous lady."

"I see I am not the only one who thinks so," Gregory laughed. "Would you like to join us for supper, Monsieur Christian? It is only right to invite you to dine with us after taking Isabel in. Maybe you would enjoy to see a performance? There is a splendid play that is being rehearsed that shall be quite inspiring, I am sure. As you will soon learn, there is much talent and spectacles to find within the Moulin Rouge."

"Believe me, Monsieur." Christian looked into my eyes and smiled. "I already know."


	23. I'm Not That Girl

**AN: **Thank you again to my reviewers. I am so glad you are enjoying the story. Serious props for anyone who knows the 4th song in this chapter. I did not even know it existed until today, and am going out to buy the CDlater on this afternoon.

* * *

**Chapter 23. I'm Not That Girl**

"Isabel!" relief claimed Ziddler's face at our arrival, although his joy dissipated at the sight of my companions. "Gregory? Christian?"

"So nice of you to join us, cousin." Edmund sneered despite himself.

"I have not seen you in the Moulin Rouge since…"

"…since Satine." Christian finished for Ziddler.

Seeing his distress, I squeezed his hand before stepping forward.

"My voice instructor shall be joining us for supper tonight. I hope his presence is welcomed, as is everyone's."

"Very well spoken, _ma belle_." Gregory remarked, leading me to our chairs. "There is an extra chair beside Ziddler for you, Christian. You will find that Monsieur Ziddler can be quite a pleasing fellow."

"Hello Christian," Ziddler's usual façade went up… all sunshine and rainbows.

"Ziddler," Christian nodded, avoiding to make eye contact with him.

How my heart yearned to comfort him!

How I desired to take him in my arms and make him forget!

If only fortune would be on his side for once in the Moulin Rouge.

* * *

How I wished to only be with Isabel and forget the pain and anguish of the Moulin Rouge. The hurt that hung in-between floorboards and kept the walls together. 

"Tell me, Monsieur…" this fellow, Edmund, wrinkled his nose after addressing anyone. "How long have you been Isabel's voice instructor?"

A menacing glare lit his eyes when he looked at me. Challenging me to lie. How could a fellow who was nearly identical to Gregory not possess an ounce of his blithe apparel?"

"He only began just recently," Isabel answered.

"Yes, very recently, Edmund." Gregory vouched.

"I asked Christian," Edmund shifted his attention to me once more with the rumple of his nose. "Your answer?"

"Very recent, Monsieur." I tried not to laugh when Isabel began to giggle. "I reassure you."

"Do you plan to pursue your music, Isabel?" Edmund asked, business and providence his domain. "Perhaps the stage?"

"Well… no." Isabel replied candidly. "Never. It was not until recently that I noticed I _could_ sing a note on key."

"So what are your ambitions?" Edmund scrutinized her, ready to draw conclusions at any given moment. "Marriage? A man to support you?"

"Oh no," Isabel shook her head. "Thoughts of marriage never entered my head until I met the love of my life. Before, I never thought a man might want me."

"Why would you think so?"

"Because I found myself plain as can be. It never occurred to me a man might want that."

"Plain?" Edmund laughed. "Who do you take me for?"

"Less than a year ago I was not so easy on the eyes."

"And I should believe that!"

"Oui."

"Why should I?"

"Monsieur, I am not the same girl I was back then."

* * *

"When are you going to tell him?" Christian asked when I escorted him to the exit of the Moulin Rouge. 

"Soon, Christian." I promised, looking behind me to check if anyone was lurking in the shadows.

"Please do not wait so long, _mon amour_." Christian begged helplessly. "I already watched one I loved stay within the clutches of another man. I will be driven mad by jealousy if it happens again. I do not know if I could survive the pain…"

"I would never deliberately hurt you," I wrapped my arms around him, my eyes wavering behind me to reassure that we were still alone. "_There was a time. I was everything and nothing all in one. When you found me. I was feeling like a cloud across the sun."_ (1)

"_Someday when I'm awfully low _

_When the world is cold_

_I will feel a glow _

_Just thinking of you _

_And the way you look tonight." _(2)

"_I need to tell you _

_How you light up every second of the day _

_But in the moonlight _

_You just shine like a beacon on the bay." _(1)

"_O but you're lovely _

_With your smile so warm _

_And your cheeks so soft _

_There is nothing for me to love you _

_Just the way you look tonight._" (2)

"_And I can't explain_

_But it's something about the way you look tonight_

_Takes my breath away_

_It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_

_And I can't describe_

_But it's something about the way you look tonight_

_Takes my breath away_

_The way you look tonight." _(1)

"_With each word, your tenderness grows_

_Tearing my fear apart_

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose_

_Touches my foolish heart." _(2)

"_With a smile_

_You pull the deepest secrets from my heart_

_In all honesty_

_I'm speechless and I don't know where to start."_ (1)

"_Lovely never never change_

_Keep that breathless change_

_Won't you please arrange it_

_Cause I, I love you_

_Just the way you look tonight_

_Just the way you look tonight." _(2)

"_Never knew I could feel like this_," I whispered when he finished, my smile unable to express the extent my bliss has brought me. (3)

"We are safe, Isabel." Christian set his hands upon my face to prevent me from turning around again. "No one shall see."

The kiss was slow and sweet. It had me on my toes, wanting never to leave his arms. I know not if I would ever have broken apart if Christian had nottaken a step back and waved.

"Goodnight, _mon amour_." he blew me a kiss. "Until we meet again.

* * *

I rested on the side of my bed. 

My room possessed ornamental sentiments in every corner of the room. Bouquets and ribbons filled the spaces between my furniture, all of them in a shade of white, pink, and red. I lived in a room that spoke of love, and yet it was like living within a candy-shop and never being allowed totake a bite of sweetness.

"_Hands touch, eyes meet_

_Sudden silence, sudden heat_

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl."_ (4)

Gregory would marry Isabel. I would end up with Edmund. His prisoner. Forever his prisoner. I would rather work in the Moulin Rouge all my life. At least then I would have the freedom. I would choose whom I slept with.

There was no choice with Edmund.

I was his whore…

"_Don't dream too far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

_He could be that boy_

_I'm not that girl." _(4)

Ever since that night… when Edmund had branded me as his…

When his fingerprints were bruised upon my flesh…

…I became his.

No longer would any man want me. At least in the way that they should.

Damaged goods…

I had heard the phrase enough times to understand its meaning.

That was who I was now… damaged goods.

"_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_

_To that land of what-might-have-been_

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in."_ (4)

Did Gregory notice my change? Did he see the independent, defiant girl who was known for her recalcitrant behavior, losing her moral? Was it odd that I no longer flaunted my body, showing as much as I could without losing all of my dignity, in an attempt to have his eyes waver on my for one moment?

"_Blithe smile, lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, she wins him_

_Gold hair with a gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

_And heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl."_ (4)

I was known for my looks. It was what won Edmund. What kept him going… wanting me. But it was never enough. I was the kind of pretty that was accepted in society. The kind that everyone looked for. He wanted something else… an inner beauty that glowed on the outside… a beauty he had found within several women, and now loved in Isabel.

Whatever it was… I knew only that I did not have it.

"_Don't wish, don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so_

_I'm not that girl."_ (4)

My physical pain was nothing. Nonexistent. It was something I had grown used to. Something my body accepted as normal.

Besides, the body noticed whatever pain was the greatest.

And certainly no pain Edmund could give me would match what resided within my heart…

* * *

1. Music by Elton John; Lyrics by Bernie Taupin "Something About The Way You Look Tonight"

2. Tony Bennett "The Way You Look Tonight"

3. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"

4. Idena Menzel "I'm Not That Girl"


	24. When A Man Loves A Woman

**AN: **Thank you to those so kind as to review. There probably won't be any updates for a few days. Have a few projects that need to be attended to. Hope you all enjoy. : D

* * *

**Chapter 24. When A Man Loves A Woman**

"_You'll remember me when the west wind moves_

_Upon the fields of Barley_

_You'll forget the sun in its jealous sky_

_As we walk in fields of gold,"_ (1)

I sang as I typed my fantasy.

"_So she took her love for to gaze a while_

_Upon the fields of Barley_

_In his arms she fell as her hair came down_

_Among the fields of gold."_ (1)

A night without Isabel. As hard as it would be for me to restrain from serenading my love to her all night long, I must find contentment in professing my love in words… in my writing… in my story…

_Our_ story…

Our _love_ story…

"_Will you stay with me, will you be my love_

_Among the fields of Barley_

_We'll forget the sun in it's jealous sky_

_As we lie in fields of gold."_ (1)

Although the story did not allow for as much passion as that between Satine in me, there was no doubt that the love was there all along.

Would it stay?

"See the west wind move like a lover's soul

Upon the fields of Barley

Feel her body rise as you kiss her mouth

Among the fields of gold." (1)

Spinning a tale of love. Of bliss. Of ecstasy. Of reaching distant galaxies and defying gravity.

"_I never make promises lightly_

_There may have been some that I've broken_

_But I swear in the days still left_

_We'll walk in fields of gold."_ (1)

I wanted to count each freckle upon her face. Memorize its location. Whisper dreams and hopes that would eventually come true. No longer empty promises that I knew, with Satine, would never be. In this love story, death would not claim the lovers before their love could even begin.

The completion to a love story…

Could this be happening to me?

"_Many years have passed since those summer days_

_Among the Fields of Barley_

_See the children run as the sun goes down_

_Among the fields of gold."_ (1)

Love indeed lifts us up where we belong. How the words left my lips and came upon paper as if my heart were truly speaking.

Was it possible to be so enthralled in such an affair? Was it possible that in the span of half a year, I have allowed myself to fall for a woman who has changed so much?

No longer hidden behind a cloak…

Not nearly as much surprise when complimented…

Carrying herself with more confidence than contumaciousness…

"_You'll remember me as the west wind moves_

_Upon the fields of barley_

_You can tell the sun in its jealous sky_

_That we walked in the fields of gold."_ (1)

"I see that you and Isabel are doing well again," Toulouse entered with a grin.

"According to whom, may I ask?"

"Who?" Toulouse laughed. "I do not need anyone to tell me of the matter. I know when two people are in love. When a man can spend hours writing endlessly about the feelings that this love has aroused. When a man can find such inspiration… such complete…"

"She is wonderful, Toulouse." I grinned, fighting the urge to run to the Moulin Rouge to see Isabel again. "I… I cannot think anymore. It is just like Satine, Toulouse. I can write. You can see that, of course. But… I cannot describe it. I… I never knew…"

"_Never knew I could feel like this!_" Toulouse sang with exclamation. (2)

"Yes! Yes!" I stood up, not minding when the typewriter came to a crash on the floor.

"You have not been drinking, have you?"

"What need have I?" I laughed. "Oh Toulouse, fortune is on my side, for once. I went inside the Moulin Rouge. I ate beside Ziddler. Nothing horrible occurred. Isabel is completely fine. This is all going to work out."

"Why are you not with her right now then? Does Ziddler know of your love?"

"Isabel is telling him tonight…"

"Are you sure?"

"I trust her, Toulouse."

"What about Gregory?"

"You know of him?"

"Yes, of course, you all are not the only ones to know of their engagement. It is the word around the streets."

"She is _engaged_, Christian."

"Isabel plans to break off the engagement tonight. She will come to me tomorrow. We'll be together."

"Do you truly believe it shall be that easy?"

"Yes."

"Christian," Toulouse stared at me long and hard in the eyes. "Think about it. Do you truly believe nothing horrible shall happen."

"It is a possibility," I admitted after a few moments of silence. "But one that I wish not to acknowledge or think about."

"I do not doubt Isabel's love Christian," Toulouse said. "But Gregory is Duke. He is of high power. He has money. In Paris, although it is the city of love, some still find other things greater. Ziddler knows of only one thing of worth to him, and that is exactly what Gregory has."

"_When a man loves a woman_

_Can't keep his mind on nothin' else_

_He'd trade the world_

_For a good thing he's found_

_If she is bad, he can't see it_

_She can do no wrong_

_Turn his back on his best friend_

_If he puts her down._" (3)

I sang the truth of the matter until Toulouse decided he wanted his say as well.

"_When a man loves a woman_

_Spend his very last dime_

_Trying to hold on to what he needs_

_He'd give up all his comforts_

_And sleep out in the rain_

_If she said that's the way_

_It out to be_." (3)

"_When a man loves a woman_

_I give you everything I've got_

_Trying to hold on_

_To your precious love_

_Baby please don't treat me bad."_ (3)

"_When a man loves a woman_

_Deep down in his soul_

_She can bring him such misery_

_If she is playing him for a fool_

_He's the last one to know_

_Loving eyes can never see._" (3)

"_Yes, when a man loves a woman_

_I know exactly how he feels_

_'cause baby, baby, baby_

_I am a man_

_When a man loves a woman._" (3)

"I hope Gregory is as heart-filled as I have heard," Toulouse remarked.

"I hope that Gregory is all that we have to worry about," I closed my eyes, silently praying that whatever occurred turned out alright.

* * *

"_It's undeniable_

_that we should be together_

_It's unbelievable _

_How I used to say that I'd fall never_

_The basis you need to know_

_If you don't know just how I feel_

_Then let me show you now that I'm for real_," (4)

Gregory sang to me when I joined him back in the Moulin Rouge. "You truly are wonderful, Isabel. Beyond words. Beyond anything."

"No more wonderful than you are," I replied, in all honesty. "I am nothing special."

"You are beautiful… _ma belle._" Gregory led me to my room, professing the same melody he sang when I met him.

"_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, girl it's plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me, and_

_Four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I start back at one…_" (4)

"You shouldn't be here at this hour of the night," I said to silence him. "If people found out… if Ziddler were to walk in. If _anyone_ were to walk in…"

"_It's so incredible_

_The way things work themselves out_

_And all emotional_

_Once you know what it's all about hey_

_And undesirable_

_For us to be apart_

_Never would of made it very far_

_'Cause you know you got the keys to my heart_

_'Cause…_" (4)

Guilt made my heart race, and I only wished to run out of the room. Gregory, feeling the acceleration of my heart, drew me closer to him and whispered his song in my ear.

"_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, girl it's plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me, and_

_Four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I start back at one."_ (4)

The shame. The guilt. The knowledge of what I needed to do.

His love. His promises. His complete trust in me.

I knew both sides of the matter… knew what I must do…

But could I do it?

"_Say farewell to the dark night_

_I see the coming of the sun_

_I feel like a little child_

_Whose life has just begun_

_You came and breathed new life_

_Into this lonely heart of mine_

_You threw out the life line_

_Just in the nick of time…"_ (4)

"Gregory," I set my hands on his shoulders, wishing to take his mind off of his song to listen to me. "There is something that I must tell you."

"_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, girl it's plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me, and_

_Four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I start back at one…"_ (4)

His song at its end, he kissed me lightly on my lips, making me close my eyes at his sentiment. He placed a kiss on each cheek and then planted one on the center of my forehead, digging his fingers deep within my hair.

"You are everything I need," Gregory told me when I opened my eyes.

I did not deserve him…

"What did you have to say to me, _ma belle._"

It was my chance...

…to tell him the truth.

"You must go," I answered. "My Uncle might live in the Moulin Rouge, but there is a respectable hour for a man to be with a woman in the night."

"No need to cry, Isabel." Gregory wiped away my tears and kissed me once more. "Until we see each other tomorrow."

"Until then…"

I collapsed to my knees, knowing I only dug my hole deeper.

There was no denying now that I was related to Harold Ziddler.

I was becoming just as well with deception and lies as he.

* * *

1. Sting "Fields Of Gold"

2. Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman "Come What May"

3. Percy Sledge "When A Man Loves A Woman"

4. Brian McKnight "Back At One"


	25. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking F...

**AN: **Enjoy. Thought I'd write a chapter for you guys because I love you all like that before departing on the never-ending homework all weekend long.

* * *

**Chapter 25. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For**

A pallid color that seemed almost unhealthy… far too skinny… enough freckles for everyone in Paris…

I looked the same overall. There were no apparent changes in my appearance. No drastic physical alterations that made me seem like a completely different person. That was only achieved when I allowed Cecille the opportunity to mold me into a masterpiece.

Standing before a mirror clad in a plain white nightgown, my face bare and my hair down, I was certainly no masterpiece. No Mona Lisa. It was true that allowing my bangs to grow out had opened up my face, making me appear like the woman I was becoming, but the action made me no Aphrodite.

"What do they see?" I asked my reflection. "When did men suddenly find it so outrageously comely of women to possess freckles and paleness and skin and bones?"

What is beauty?

Is it how you look? How people view you? How you look at yourself?

"But there _is _something different," I admitted. "But _what_?"

Turning my back to the mirror in frustration, I tossed back my hair and let out a sigh.

"How is life treating you, Isabel?"

Cecille stood in my doorway, a blanket wrapped around her that dragged on the floor. Her long, platinum hair fell down over her face, a veil between us. Never had I seen Cecille so dressed up. Where was her ruby gown of satin and silk? Where was the black lace? The ribbons that made her the temptress she was?

"Well enough," I advanced to move her hair from her face, but she stepped away and went to my window to stare into the darkness. "Are you alright, Cecille?"

"I could not sleep," she admitted. "Thought I would visit you to see how everything is going. Don't you find it odd… even the lights of darkness consumes the Moulin Rouge eventually. Even love gives into the dark eventually."

"But it is up to you to turn the light back on," her face was hidden behind her hair, but I could still see the smile form.

"_I have climbed the highest mountains_

_I have run through the fields_

_Only to be with you_

_Only to be with you_," (1)

Cecille sang to herself, a hand reached out as if pressing against the glass of a window.

However, there was no window…

"_I have run I have crawled_

_I have scaled these city walls_

_Only to be with you_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_." (1)

"_Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow_

_But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow_

_Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend_

_I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long_

'_Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."_ (2)

I approached her still figure, seeing tears glistening in back of her silvery veil. A soft melody filled the air, both melancholy and promising, as odd of a combination as it seemed.

"_I have kissed honey lips_

_Felt the healing in his fingertips_

_It burned like fire_

_This burning desire_

_I have spoke with the tongue of angels_

_I have held the hand of a devil_

_It was warm in the night_

_I was cold as a stone_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_." (1)

"_Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow_

_For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show_

_You just call on me sister when you need a hand_

_We all need somebody to lean on_

_I just might have a problem that you'll understand_

_We all need somebody to lean on_

_Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend_

_I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long _

'_Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on._" (2)

"_I believe in the Kingdom Come_

_Then all the colors will bleed into one_

_But yes I'm still running_

_You broke the bonds_

_You loosened the chains_

_You carried the cross_

_And my shame_

_And my shame_

_You know I believed it_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for_

_But I still haven't found_

_What I'm looking for."_ (1)

Pulling Cecille into an embrace, I allowed her to cry on my shoulder as I cooed my words of comfort and compassion.

"_You just call on me sister if you need a friend_

_We all need somebody to lean on_

_I just might have a problem that you'll understand_

_We all need somebody to lean on_

_If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry_

_I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me._

_Call me_

_Call me…_" (2)

"I have been a fool," Cecille cried helplessly. "I don't want to be a whore no more, Isabel. I am not a whore."

"You are not a whore," I agreed. "You worked for Ziddler. It was your job to make men believe what they wished to. It was your _job_. That is not who you are."

"A whore," Cecille shook with her sobs. "A whore for all of my days."

"It's alright," I promised, moving her to rest in my bed. "_You just call on me sister if you need a friend. We all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'll understand. We all need somebody to lean on._" (2)

At the end of my own melody, I saw that Cecille had fallen asleep.

But her tears still kept coming.

* * *

Even in my dreams I could not escape.

He visited me there…

Those memories relived…

Those nightmares…

"_Oh my life_

_Is changing everyday_

_In every possible way_

_And oh my dreams_

_It's never quiet as it seems_

_Never quiet as it seems…_" (3)

I had stolen away during the night to stand upon the balcony that overlooked the gardens. In the moonlight, the garden was the ideal location for serenading and professing love. Moonlight played upon the plants, dancing upon metals of the flower, casting an illumination when reflected off of the fountain's still water.

"_I know I've felt this before_

_But now I'm feeling it even more_

_Because it came from you_." (3)

Emerging from the East of the Duke's mansion, Gregory led a blushing maid through the gardens.

The girl appeared more frightened than thrilled and exhilarated. A look of fear was painted on her face, and no amount of smiles from Gregory made it dissipate.

However timorous she appeared upon escaping the mansion was lost when Gregory kissed her in front of the fountain.

"_And then I open up and see_

_The person falling here is me_

_A different way to be_

_La_

_I want more (impossible to ignore)_

_I want more (impossible to ignore)_." (3)

So lost in his bliss, Gregory spun the maid around, prepared to waltz with her in the moonlight with only the flowers and plants as onlookers.

"_And they'll come true (impossible not to do)_

_And they'll come true (impossible not to do)_." (3)

Kissing her again, I rested my hands on the railings of the balcony and leaned forward, feeling the cool night breeze blow my hair in back of me.

"_And now I tell you openly_

_You have my heart so don't hurt me_

_You're what I couldn't find._" (3)

My professions of love were caught up in the wind and came whirling back at me. Yet Gregory and his maid were so lost in their own occurrences… the love that surrounded them… that no words of mine could penetrate it.

"_A totally amazing mind_

_So understanding and so kind_

_You're everything to me._" (3)

I whispered the last bit to myself. Such a soft utterance of love was quickly swept away to merge with the never-ending clamor of Paris.

Long after Gregory and his maid departed, hand in hand, two lovers in the night, I stayed on the balcony. Doubt seized me. Perhaps he had not heard me. It was possible I might not have said anything at all.

But, while I stood looking at the fountain where Gregory kissed only moments ago, far until the night's song became that of sweet slumber… my song lingered still.

* * *

**1. **U2 "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

**2. **Bill Withers "Lean On Me"

**3. **Cranberries "Dreams"


	26. The Masquerade Continues

**AN: **I know, I know… it's a short chapter, but this weekend has not offered me a large quantity of time to sit down and write an extensive chapter. Next chapter I'll try to make it up. A million blessings and thanks to my reviewers.

* * *

**Chapter 26. The Masquerade Continues**

Ziddler was not a morning person.

Up all night tending to men who did not want to spend the night alone, desiring a bit of romance within the Moulin Rouge with his courtesans, he found it more imperative to sleep than attend to whatever matters were needed when the sun went up. He was a serpent of the night, his intentions as dark as the shadows of the night.

"Ziddler!" Edmund slammed on Ziddler's room impatiently. "It has been five minutes already! I am not one to wait."

"Yes, yes." Ziddler emerged, a wrinkled robe wrapped around him.

"You _ass_!" Edmund raised a hand as if to strike the man but only stomped to the wall of the hall. "You fool! You arrogant brute! _I_ am what is keeping the Moulin Rouge running. _I _am what keeps you and your _precious_ niece alive. Yet you cannot even do me the _decency_ to come when you are called! I should withdraw my funds for this whorehouse right now. Is it such a hard thing to get up and come out in something besides a thin piece of cotton that you think is some _robe_!"

With each sentence, Edmund stepped towards Ziddler, until… by the end of his bursts of rage… he was jabbing his finger on Ziddler's protruding stomach. His face, crimson with fury, matched the red of Ziddler's robe.

"Come out where you are decent!" Edmund growled, pushing Ziddler in his room, and slamming the door behind him. "We will discuss of the matter when I am able to separate them from my anger, you arrogant bastard."

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" I questioned Gregory as he led me through the corridors of his home. "What need is there of me wearing a blindfold, may I ask? It is not as if I have ever been in your house except that one instance. I would not be able to identify where you were taking me whether or not I wore this piece of cloth over my eyes."

"It would ruin the effect," Gregory replied, his pace quickening in anxiousness.

His sincerity was touching, even if I knew that I could not love him. Try as I might to smile with jollity and give into the anticipation at the time, I could only feel guilt towards my cruelty.

I was leading him on…

Denied my sight, I was still able to know he led me outdoors when he opened a door and a gush of afternoon breeze blew in. Aromas of flowers filled the air, along with the songs of numerous birds. I could feel the soft grass beneath my feet, still wet with the morning dew. Leaving the shadows, I entered the day and felt the sun heating up my skin.

With my eyes closed, I noticed aspects of my life I never would have considered likewise. How clever on his part…

"I hope you appreciate nature as I do," Gregory remarked, pursuing on still.

Each step I began hearing the faint trickle of water. The sound grew and grew as we went on, until all other sounds were lost over the overwhelming trickling of this water, flowing as if it were a waterfall.

"Where are we?" I sounded as enchanted as a girl witnessing magic before her eyes. "It sounds like no place I have ever been."

"Being with you takes me to a new world that I have never been to," Gregory whispered, his hands touching the tie of my blindfold. "Now it is my turn to show you something new."

* * *

"I have missed you," Christian looked up from where he sat typing and grinned. "You have been in my thoughts all day."

"Hello to you, too." I smiled when he got up and kissed me.

"How was your talk with Gregory?" Christian held me in his arms as we swayed back and forth, his forehead leaning against mine. "The fellow took it well enough, I hope."

"Well enough…" I bit my lip before offering a grin and kissing him. "I've missed you too."

* * *

In the past twenty-four hours I had spent my day with two men who both love me.

The first man is Duke. Any woman would be utterly insane to not choose him, especially when his love was so honest and pure.

Opening my eyes to find myself in a grandiose garden full of flowers and greenery, it seemed like a picture out of some fairytale, illuminated by fantasy and magic. We stood, hand in hand, before a great fountain that was bigger than the room in which I now lay with Christian. So overbearing and elegant was this fountain, that nothing outside of where we both stood could penetrate the water.

When Gregory had began singing to me once more, as heart-filled as ever, I knew that I could not tell him. Not today, at least.

The glow that resided within his eyes, so full of anticipation for the future… our future… it was a sight that I did not want to eradicate. Just the knowledge of what I would do to the joy on his face eventually… the fact that I knew I loved another man… was enough to ruin the enchantment of this sacred place that Gregory had taken me to.

But I could not deny him. Kissing Gregory, I was at ease, knowing well that I was safe in his arms.

With Christian there was passion. I yearned for his song… for his touch… for him.

He did not provide me with economic security, but I only needed his love.

There was nothing elaborate to his appearance. He was handsome, there was no denying it, but clad in rags the vast majority of the time, he was easily overlooked.

The fantasies that Gregory shared with me Christian did not have…

…but the fairytales he sang for me were just as captivating.

Confusion visited me again as the memories of today washed over me.

"I cannot keep this up," I told myself, resting my head on Christian's shoulder as he slept.

Yet, despite the guilt that stayed with me when I was with either men, I kept up the masquerade.

I was truly becoming no better than Ziddler now.


	27. Decisions For The Future

**AN: **Alright, it isn't a super long chapter or anything, I know, but yeah… I tried. : D Hope you all enjoy it. Please R&R. You will make my day!

* * *

**Chapter 27. Decisions For The Future**

Toulouse entered Christian's home to find it in more disarray than usual.

Papers scattered across the floor as carelessly as the clothing Christian discarded daily. The blankets of Christian's bed half draped upon the floor, as dozens of stacks of papers rested atop the surface of his bed. Untouched food dwelled on a table, and Toulouse began to fear that Christian was not getting the proper nutrition or, rather, less of a proper nutrition than the usual norm.

"Christian?"

There was no denying the weeping that emanated from the fireplace.

To see Christian sitting on the ground, his head lowered upon his knees as he cried mercilessly in whatever sorrow had overtook him, Toulouse hesitated in what he should say in fear of setting off an already unstable Christian.

"She has left me, Toulouse…" Christian cleared the air and presented the problem, saving Toulouse a lot of bother trying to pry it out of him. "No good-byes… no promises of returning… just a note… a wretched note."

"A note?" Toulouse was surprised at the sudden change in character for Isabel. "What did she write? Where is this note?"

"That she cannot be with me," Christian's cries deepened. "That she could never hurt the Duke and did not wish to ruin the joy she has created in his life. She said she believes I will… someday… find love again… but… I… I am not so sure. So she would rather be with the Duke and hurt me. She would choose his happiness over my own. Toulouse… I have opened up my heart to have it broken again!" Christian shook his head. "I could not stand it, Toulouse. I threw it in the flames. The fire can consume the words. But no matter if the note is only ashes now… the words remain. They are engrained in my head. I shall be haunted by that note until I die… oh Satine…"

"Put yourself together, Christian!" Toulouse bent down to try and pull him up, but Christian remained with his head down. "Come! I believe it is time to get this ache off of your mind. Sitting in this room basking about your hurt does not improve how you feel at all. Come, Christian!"

When Christian remained where he sat, and Toulouse knew he did not possess the external strength to physical bring Christian to his feet and drag him from the room, he walked out of the door.

Returning with a bucket of water, he poured it upon the fire, not even trying to aim to miss Christian.

Scowling, Christian stood quite soaked and turned at Toulouse with murder written in his eyes.

"Anger is better than distress, for now." Toulouse remarked with a grin, and patted Christian on his shoulder. "Come now, we shall go out for the day and we can discuss what we shall do later in the evening."

"We?"

"Of course," Toulouse patted Christian on the back. "I am as involved in the matter as you, my friend. Know that I will be by your side through all of this, no matter what the outcome."

"I… I cannot go out today, Toulouse." Christian provided him with a wan smile. "It is all too much."

"The show must go on, Christian." Toulouse reminded. "No matter how horrible the situation may be. You should know that by now."

"The show must go on…" Christian closed his eyes, remembering the show that just _must_ go on.

"I will be back in a moment," Toulouse promised. "There is something that I have for you, my friend. Give me a minute… perhaps two… alright… ten at the most."

"_I just don't know what to do with myself_

_Don't know just what to do with myself_

_I'm so used to doing everything with you_

_Planning everything for two_

_And now that we're through…"_ (1)

Christian tossed back his wet hair before discarding his shirt and picking up a wrinkled one upon the floor. Probably never blessed with being truly washed, the shirt was at least better than his soaking one.

"_I just don't know what to do with my time_

_I'm so lonesome for you it's a crime_

_Going to a movie only makes me sad_

_Parties make me feel as bad_

_When I'm not with you_

_I just don't know what else to do._" (1)

Little did Christian know that a few blocks away, Isabel sang the same melancholy tune.

"_Like a summer rose/Like asummer rose_

_It needs the sun and rain/It needs the sun and rain_

_I need your sweet love to ease all the pain/I need your sweet love to ease all the pain_

_I just don't know what to do with myself babyI just don't know what to do with myself_

_I just don't know what to do with myself baby/I just don't know what to do with myself_

_If your new love ever turns you down/If my new love ever turns me down_

_Come on back I will be around/I pray that you will be around_

_Just waiting for you/Just waiting for me_

_I don't know what else to do."_ (1)/ _I don't know what else to do."_ (1)

For a brief moment, Christian put his song on pause as another melody floated in the air while Isabel continued singing.

"_I don't know just what to do with myself_

_I don't know just what to do with myself_

_I pray that you will be around_

_Just waiting for me…"_ (1)

Isabel ended as her tears took over, her sadness a louder sang in her heart than the hope that resided at what she had inflicted upon herself. Christian, noticing the silence that had claimed the room once more, started to pick up the papers of a love story that he had tossed around the room in desperate frustration.

"_I'm still so crazy for you…"_ (1)

* * *

"Are you sure?" Ziddler raised his eyebrows, looking at his accomplice in a new light after he had explained his devious plan. "Do you think it wise? Can we… shall we… be able to pull this off?"

"I have the funds for it," Edmund reminded. "You would be surprised at what can be done when you have a large quantity of it within your grasp."

"I know, Monsieur," Ziddler reassured. "I completely understand."

"When will you begin?" Edmund looked upon his stopwatch and frowned. "I am not a patient person, as you already know, Ziddler."

"This evening," Ziddler nodded. "It shall all be in order by the end of today."

"I expect it to," Edmund stood up and placed his hat upon his head, but not even the shadows of his hat could shield the virulent embers burning within his eyes. "Good day to you, Ziddler. I have matters to tend to… particularly with my wife-to-be…"

* * *

"How do I get through the night without you

If I had to live without you

What kinda life would that be

Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold

You are my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave

Baby you would take away

Everything good in my life

And tell me now…" (2)

_Gregory's love affair with the maid went on daily, as did Edmund's harsh ways._

_Watching Gregory sneak the maid out into the garden to kiss and profess his love each night was enough to drive me into a new sorrow that filled up my chest until it was suffocating. _

"_Promise me, Candace," Gregory held her face in his hands, his heart completely exposed to her. "Promise me there will be no one else. That you will be faithful to me. There is no one else in my life."_

"_Gregory…" the maid shook her head. "I am older than you. Imagine what would happen if we got caught… if your family found out. Imagine the problems that would arise. I cannot risk you losing your honor and good title."_

"_Don't you love me?" he did not contain his hurt, an obvious sign of his youth an inexperience with the world outside of his home. "I thought you loved me…"_

"_I let you go because I love you," the maid set a hand on his face, still as soft as a baby… I already knew. "I cannot bear to see you lose all respectability because of me."_

"_But I _love_ you!" Gregory cried out._

"_Goodbye, Gregory." The maid's eyes filled with silent tears as she bade her farewell. "It would never work out. I am the maid of your home. You are Duke. Imagine the uproar…"_

"_I don't care!" Gregory shook with sobs by now. "You can't do this to me, Candace. I love you. You love me. What is so wrong with that?"_

"_You are still so young," the maid smiled at this thought. "There is much time for you to find love again, Gregory."_

"_I don't want to!"_

"How do I live without you

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live…" (2)

"_Don't leave me!" Gregory clung to the maid as soon as she had turned to leave. "I cannot survive if you leave! Candace! You… I… please!"_

"_Gregory! Let it go!" she begged. "You are not making the situation any better…"_

"Without you

There would be no sun in my sky

There would be no love in my life

There's be no world left for me

And I, baby, I don't know what I would do

I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave

Baby you would take away

Everything real in my life

And tell me

How do I live without you

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I, oh how do I love…" (2)

_When Candace persisted in leaving, Gregory pulled her to him and kissed her. It was a kiss of desperation, filled with all of the love that would be denied after this, and when Candace pulled away, even from the distance where I stood upon the balcony, I could see the tears on her face._

"_Goodbye Gregory."_

"Please tell me baby how do I go on

If you ever leave

Baby you would take away everything

Need you with me

Baby don't you know that you are

Everything good in my life

And tell me now

How do I live without out

I want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live

How do I live without you

How do I live without you, baby

How do I live without you." (2)

"_Gregory!" I fought back my smile at his presence when I left the balcony to find him resting in his armchair sulking. "What are you doing here at this time in the night?"_

"_Contemplating jumping off of the balcony," Gregory wiped his cheeks, still stained with his tears, as he pouted. "Candace has left me. She thinks I am too young. That our love brings more bad than good."_

"_You will find someone else someday," I reassured him, cringing at how Candace had told him something along those lines not so long ago. "Not everything in the world is going to come crashing down, I promise."_

"_It sure seems like it will," Gregory sighed. "What a great Duke I am, sitting here crying over a maid, of all people! My family would find me insane."_

"_Sometimes we cannot help falling in love," I chose my words wisely, afraid of what I might reveal. "All we can do is act upon it and try to make the best decisions we can in how we deal with our love."_

"_Spoken like a true intellectual," Gregory smiled, and I felt my heart melting in a puddle at my feet. "You know, Cecille… as tough as life can be at times, I can always count on you to bring some sensibility back into me."_

"_Anytime," I smiled weakly, desiring for a different kind of praise. " Just count on me."_

"_I can talk to you about anything, Cecille." Gregory held out his hand. "Ah, come on, Cecille… we're good enough pals to be able to shake."_

"_I suppose we are…"_

_He offered me a handshake…_

_I wanted more…_

_Was a handshake all that he was willing to offer me?_

"_Where are you going?" Gregory called when I took off._

"_Good night, Gregory." I said, ignoring his question._

"_Pleasant dreams, Cecille." Gregory replied. "Thank you so much for being there, you know? I love you."_

_Just not in the way I wished he could…_

"Come now…" a dark voice growled. "Enough of your dreams now. It isn't healthy."

"….." I opened my eyes when I was shook, and saw Gregory. "Grre…."

I stopped short when my eyes focused in and I saw Edmund's eyes full of the usual darkness and lust he had when with me.

"By that smile upon your face while you slept, I am sure you got your moment of indulgence." Edmund bared his teeth in a smile. "Now it's my turn…"

* * *

1. Nicky Holland "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

2. Trisha Yearwood "How Do I Live"


	28. A New Love Story For The Moulin Rouge

**AN: **Sorry for not updating sooner. No excuse really. Just allowing procrastination plague me at the moment. Hopefully that has passed. Thank you to all reviewers. You all are as sweet as chocolate ice cream!Please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 28. A New Love Story For The Moulin Rouge**

"A new production?" interest took over when Ziddler announced it at supper. "What need is there for a new production? _'Spectacular Spectacular'_ has been the talk of the town since it was first shown."

"_I_ am tired of it," Ziddler said, reaching for more food. "Besides, the new writer we have is splendid, and I cannot deny the story he has. It _must_ be performed as soon as possible."

"As soon as possible?" I repeated slowly. "How soon is that?"

"I shall give the cast their parts tonight."

"Why so soon?"

"Because the play needs to be perfected before the production."

"But…"

All focus in the room faded when Edmund entered with Cecille.

A smile upon Cecille's face,it did not conceal thesadness thatsettled within her eyes, now matter how dazzling of an appearance she made. Dressed in a silver and white silk gown, a band of pearls around her neck, and her hair down, falling over her shoulders without a hair out of place, there was no denying her beauty.

Edmund looked every bit as Gregory tonight, wearing a suit of silver that complimented Cecille's dress. It was completely apparent that Edmund had purchased Cecille's outfit and hisespecially for this evening.

Entering with such smiles on their faces, they seemed the ideal couple amongst society.

Look at their eyes…

Between a darkness and inner animosity, and an adversity…

…not even their smiles could convince the contrary.

* * *

The air in the room was scorching, but the fabric of the gown clung to my arms, concealing the marks that were branded upon me.

Time was repeating itself once more…

"You looked gorgeous tonight."

Isabel was sure one to talk. She might not be some exquisite, prominent beauty according to society's standards, but she truly was beautiful. Her hair, pulled up in a high bun, exposing her shoulder in a low, sapphire gown allowed me the knowledge that she would fit well enough within cluster of people Gregory must deal with every other day.

"You aren't that bad looking yourself, Isabel."

"Don't flatter me…" she trailed off, uncomfortable discussing her appearance, as she began to run her fingers through her hair, despite the tight bun it was in. "I know I am nothing special."

"Nothing special?" I laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You have Gregory head over heals in love with you, Isabel. Not just any ordinary girl would be able to pull that off."

"What about yourself?"

Isabel leaned over and grabbed my hair, lifting it up from my shoulders. The sudden exposure made me wish to snatch my hair free, but I kept a straight face when she stared at it. I only prayed that she did not notice the marks upon my collarbone and shoulders that were suddenly perceptible.

"You are gorgeous, Cecille." Isabel sighed and dropped my hair. "Independent. Gorgeous. Talented. About to marry into a wealthy family."

"Lucky me," I said weakly, knowing only half of her talk was true.

_Bound by my fiancé…_

_In love with his cousin…_

_Manipulating my looks to my advantage…_

"Why does Ziddler want me?" Isabel dropped on her bed. "I am no exceptional beauty like you, Cecille. I am nothing worth mentioning to anyone except those who know me. My voice is alright, but not when proclaiming lines that I am required to say. I have never been on stage before."

"You _are _beautiful. The audience shall get to know you during your performance and _will _find you worth mentioning. Your voice is crisp, sweet, and makes everyone wanting more. It matters not that you are inexperienced. You are superb."

"I just do not understand why I am to be the star," Isabel rested my head in my hands with a heavy sigh. "You are the star, Cecille. This story… it is a love story of intimacy. Passion. Jealousy. Betrayal. How could I possibly stay true to such a tale? The girl is mysterious. She is supposed to have every man who meets her fall for her. She is talented. Independent. Confident. Sure of herself. Why am I playing her?"

I could not believe her doubt in everything and everyone around her.

"Need I repeat myself again?" I teased, my hands seeking my hips saucily. "You were _made_ for this part. This role was _made_ for you. This story. This part. Everything about it…"

_Perhaps more than you know…_

"I don't know who my lover is."

"Your… lover?" I choked, a defense arising within me as my hostility took over. "Gregory loves you Isabel! What a great time to decide to find someone else!"

"Gregory…" Isabel bit her lip, a fear taking over her.

"No need to cry about it!" I scowled, all of my hurt, pain, frustration, annoyance, and tribulation evoked in my voice.

"Who… who is the one to be the lover of… Bella?" Isabel stuttered, in hysterics.

"Was _that_ what you were talking of?" I laughed at her distress, unable to believe that Isabel was merely asking of her character. "No need to get so ruffled up, Isabel. I declare you can be the most emotional person at times."

"I do not mean to be…" she blubbered, and I only grew more annoyed.

"No need for low spirits now," I grew surprised at how I tried to lighten the atmosphere although I was feeling just as low as she. "Come now, Isabel. I do not know why you are so upset. It was improper and rude of me to be so hasty to jump to conclusions. Of course you're being faithful to Gregory."

"Why does he love me?" Isabel began to silently cry.

"I don't understand you."

The need to slap her in jealousy was empowering me.

How could she be so hesitant and distrustful towards Gregory? Did she not see his honest love? She was to be married to the Duke. The richest, most powerful man she would ever be able to cross paths with. What need was there to cry? What was so unbearable in her life that she would allow herself to be so distressed and afflicted?

He loved her so…

"I do not know who is playing the role of Christopher," I replied curtly, not wanting to spend another moment in this room, at the woman who had one the heart of Gregory and cried over his love in questioning. "It matters not either, as long as you know your lines. This is show business now, Isabel. You cannot simply cry over every little thing that comes at you. You're stronger than that. I know it. You know it."

When her crying did not subside, I grew frustrated.

"Be ready before dawn," I ordered her. "If you wish to spend your night crying over Lord only knows what, that is your choice, Isabel. I will have no more of the matter. Good night."

The audacity of her! To proceed on in such a manner! As if I could possibly help the fact that I loved the man who loved her, and yet she continued to doubt him! To question him! To cry in the joy that surrounded her! How ungrateful! How undeserving!

_WHY_ did he love her?

Stopping when I entered my room, I stared at my reflection. My hair now disheveled from stomping down to my room. My body tense. My eyes, oh those eyes, filled with a rage and sorrow that would never leave me.

I did not even know I was crying just as hard as she.

"Oh Isabel…"

Covering up my face, shame overtook all jealousy and hurt.

Isabel is my friend.

When I was a courtesan, no better than any other whore, Isabel had welcomed me. At first she was hesitant, filled with doubt, but that was just how she was. Surrounded in a life where she was overlooked, having people accept her and want to be with her was still hard to grasp. How could I be so ignorant and full of anger to allow myself to overlook her own situation, even for a moment.

Love can drive you into insanity.

There was no doubt about it.

"Isabel," I entered her room, where she still sat crying to herself. "I'm sorry."

Looking up at me, I gave her a weak smile, which made her wipe her nose and laugh softly. When I hugged her, she held on tightly.

"I was never beautiful before this," she whispered. "Not as a baby. Not whilst in schooling. Not when I went to social gathering. Never. Not until I moved to the Moulin Rouge. It is the one thing that Ziddler was able to give me, that my mother could not."

My grip on Isabel tightened with every word as I cried along with her.

"Now I know why mother always wished to see him," Isabel dug her nails into my shoulder as memories invaded her mind. "He made her feel beautiful. He made her feel like, perhaps, you were worth someone's time…"

Her talk fading as my own grip grew stronger...

I needed her for support just as much as she needed me.

* * *

Ziddler had kept his word.

_The plan is all set_, Edmund grinned maniacally to himself. _By the end of all of this, Isabel shall no longer be a burden towards this family._

It was repulsive how tied his cousin was to his fiancé. Did he know better than to allow a woman to have such a grasp upon him? Did he never learn from his past experiences?

_His maid. His musician. Every woman he crossed paths with. Did he not notice how quickly they vanished before his eyes once I stepped in?_

There was no denying the chemistry of his production. The story was as heart-filled as any love story, and it would be a hit with the critics of Paris.

"Although," Edmund's derisive grin grew with his thoughts. "The production, like any great love story set at the Moulin Rouge, was sure to end in blood."

It was his favorite part of the play.

When the curtain falls…

…so would all chances of his cousin becoming married to that harlot.


	29. The Cast

**AN: **Thank you to all reviewers. You are what keeps me going at the moment in the continuation of this story. You guys made my day. : D Lunatik27, xWolfyx, MidnightRequiem,ModestySparrow9, andKow it all... you guys are beyond awesome.

* * *

**Chapter 29. The Cast**

Cecille's behavior last night was certainly out of the ordinary, but it had not ended in chaos, which was a great relief.

The sadness in her eyes… the unknown tears… it was all so foreign to see from Cecille that I was caught off guard. How she panicked when I reached for her hair!

What was happening?

"Good morning, ladies." Ziddler welcomed when we entered the stage.

"Ziddler," Cecille nodded, not looking in his direction, but continuing her walk down the stage.

The usual cast resided onstage, except that the female star now sat in the first row of the audience, her legs crossed, her head back, and her eyes staring at me to make a move. So much pressure was upon me to act that I thought I would be squashed onto the floor.

"Hello, everyone." I tried appearing as Cecille did: friendly, affable, and completely confident within any awkward position. "I am Isabel, and I shall be playing the role of Bella in this production. I hope that you find my acting satisfactory and that we all get along."

"So _you_ are what all the talk is about?" a woman crossed her arms. "What makes you so special, _Isabel_?"

"You can soon call her Duchess, Giselle." Cecille hollered. "Sheis tobe a very powerful woman... married to a very powerful man.She already is quite powerful, which I am sure you will all get to know."

"No one tops you, Cecille!" Giselle retorted, stepping forward. "So bossy and assertive. And look where it got you!"

"Sitting in the audience, able to avoid contact with you for a month, at the most." Cecille leaned further back with a grin. "Sounds quite nice to me, if I might add."

"Who is the male lead?" I questioned to break the silence that had settled once Cecille had tired of exchanging insults with Giselle. "It seems there is a new male lead for every production in the Moulin Rouge."

"That's because there _is_ a new male lead for every production in the Moulin Rouge," Giselle laughed. "No one to top the first lead. He was genius. Pure genius, mademoiselle Duchess. Quite a handsome fellow, if I may say so. No one knows what became of the fellow though. Just came up and vanished. I only imagine what might have happened if he stayed. The productions at the Moulin Rouge would be even more of a hit. He would be the idol of Paris. The god all women yearn for…"

"Giselle is in love with this stranger she only knows of by stories she hears," Cecille informed. "Do not mind her prattle."

"Cecille is only bitter because she never had the chance to sing with him," Giselle sneered at Cecille. "She sang- and slept- with every man in Paris, but never with this mysterious songbird. But, do not worry, mademoiselle Duchess, you need not think of making a fool in front of him. He shall never show his face again in the Moulin Rouge."

"Why not?"

"Because Giselle resides here, of course!" Cecille told me.

"His love died on this very stage," Giselle ignored Cecille's snide comment. "Broken soul now, I'm sure. But when he _does _decide to come back… _I_ shall be the female lead."

"You?" Cecille laughed boisterously. "Never in my life!"

"Come now, Ziddler grows tired of you." Cecille moved her hands behind her head, and looked at me. "I am sure Christian was able to find love again, Giselle. And I am certain that love is not you."

"I am telling you now, so you get no false impression upon me." Giselle grew red in the face and looked straight in my eyes, her resentment evoked as clear as glass. "I wish you no luck. In fact, I hope you fail, for it brings me that much closer to getting my rightful position as lead female in this production."

"And it is a pleasure to meet you too," I smiled, nodding my head, and turning my back, tired of her talk and nonsense. "I hope not all of you hold such asinine ambitions and exasperation towards your fellow cast. It gets us nowhere and only makes the preparation for this production that much morechallenging. So how about we all just make this as easy as humanly possible and act civil towards one another?"

"Oui," the cast agreed, except for Giselle.

"I see my niece is doing a fine job of handling the situation," Ziddler set a hand on my shoulder boastingly showing me off to the cast. "A natural leader. I hope you all obey her every whim, for she will soon be the one paying your bills."

"Never in my life," I could not help but notice Cecille's smile when I repeated her words.

"The male lead will be arriving soon," Ziddler averted his eyes, and I followed them, to find Edmund entering the theatre, his usual smirk upon his face. "Monsieur Edmund."

"The male lead, Ziddler." Edmund opened the door as the man stepped in.

I did not need to see the tattered jacket and deep eyes to notice who Edmund introduced. Hearing Giselle gasp as she fainted gave away the man's identity well before he approached us, his image coming into view for us to identify who the new male lead would be.

* * *

It was all going according to plan.

There was no denying the chemistry between this man and Isabel. Just seeing her eyes go wide at his arrival was enough.

And, even if what he saw was nothing at all, then a few weeks spent with this man, who had won the heart of every women in the audience during his only performance, was more than enough time for something to arise between Isabel and him.

Yes… it would all occur according to plan.

I did not need Ziddler's reassurance, for once, to realize it either.

* * *

"Can't we just talk?" I moaned when he continued to recite his lines. "This is ridiculous. You should be able to talk to me, Christian."

"You were the one who chose this," Christian reminded curtly. "Our relationship is strictly business right now."

"I don't see why Ziddler would have us both partake in the production together."

"Perhaps even he can see what is there."

"What is…"

"Back to rehearsing," he interrupted abruptly. "Bella sneaks off into the night after her newly wed husband falls into slumber. She meets up with Christopher, who spends his days roaming the streets. Bella…"

"_I follow the night_

_Look for my light_

_Our love now begins_

_Loving again…"_ (1)

"_How wonderful life is while you're in the world,"_ Christian sang in response, resting his hand against my cheek.

"_One day I'll fly away_

_Leave all this to yesterday_

_Look at what your love does to me_

_Please never be through with me_

_We'll live life from dream to dream_

_Knowing our love will never end."_ (1)

Christian moved his hands to my hips, his eyes burning into my own. As hard as it was to compose myself while under his eyes, I managed to gaze at him as well.

"_I hope you don't mind_

_I hope you don't mind_

_That I put down in words_

_How wonderful life is while you're in the world."_ (2)

"_One day I'll fly away_

_Leave all this to yesterday_

_Look at what your love does to me_

_Please never be through with me_

_We'll live life from dream to dream_

_Knowing our love will never end_

_One day we'll fly away_

_Fly, fly away."_ (1)

Finished exchanging lines of that seen, he kissed me and I felt all of the passions of before fill the air. It mattered not that we were not on speaking terms. Or that I left him for another man. Or that the only reason we were together was because we both ended up with the lead roles in the play.

All that mattered was this moment…

Lost in a kiss…

More content than ever locking lips in his arms.

"That was wonderful," I remarked when we drew apart. I reached for him to kiss again, but he pulled away.

"_That_… is acting." He responded before picking up his script and walking away.

* * *

Did she not see all she does to me?

Hearing her sing again, having her declare her love in song had taken over my senses and good judgement.

Isabel was engaged. No play. No kiss. No rehearsal together was going to change that. It was true Isabel still felt something for me- there was no denying it after that kiss- but whatever it was, it obviously was not enough to make her break her engagement with the Duke for me.

But what a relief it was to know that she did feel something towards me. I only hoped that my actions in the near future would not put myself perceptible to become completely vulnerable once more.

That voice… her smile… her eyes…

The pain… the anguish… the hurt of being left alone again…

Yet I still loved her…

If she asked it of me, I would not be able to deny her.

How much more vulnerable could I get?

* * *

1. Nicole Kidman "One Day I'll Fly Away (rearranged by myself. : D)"

2. Elton John "Your Song"


	30. Rehearsals Of The Most Amiable Nature

**AN: **Since I get to spend a Friday night at home, for once, without any engagements to keep me occupied, I thought I'd write another chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 30. Rehearsals Of The Most Amiable Nature**

"Did you have an eventful day?" Gregory inquired as we sat in the carriage on a trip around Paris. "How was rehearsal?"

"It was alright," I sighed, remembering Christian's words.

That_… is acting._

"The play is beautiful though, Gregory. Magical."

"I heard that the lead is your old voice instructor," Gregory stared at me with adoration. "But you no longer are in need ofassistance in your voice. It is beyond instruction now. You have reached perfection."

"Of course not," I retorted. "I was just no longer in need of his… services."

"Why not?"

"Just…" I closed my eyes, wishing I had not went out of my way to put myself in such a position. "I was so busy with the engagement. I wished to spend more time with you. I thought it would hurt you to be apart."

"How selfish of me, though." Gregory shook his head. "No, Isabel. I cannot have you do this. You shall have your voice instructor back. You need not have to send him away on account of me."

_But I already had…_

"It is alright now," I promised, looking down at my hand and the diamonds that glistened upon my new ring. "My voice is fine, as you can see… or rather… hear."

"When this play is over," Gregory leaned in, his lips brushing my ear. "We can be married."

"Married…" I breathed the word that should give me joy, but only brought sadness.

"I love you," Gregory rested his head on my shoulder. "I am so glad that life is allowing me to love once again. How fortunate… how blessed… am I…"

"_Never knew I could feel like this…" _I mumbled, looking out the window and wishing I were anywhere but here.

* * *

"So Bella and Christopher continue with their affair," Christian recapped the previous scene to me as I sat on my bed, wishing only to grab him and drag him beside me. "They are as in love as two people could possibly be, and her husband remains oblivious to the entire matter. However, there is another man of equally high power who notices something between Bella and Christopher. He follows them in his maddened thoughts to find them professing their love once more in Bella's lover's home."

"_I like a man who's crazy about me_

_I like a man who can live without me, too_

_That's what I like about you_

_I like a man who will lay down beside me_

_I like a man who will stand up to me, too_

_That's what I like about you."_ (1)

Christian hesitated when I first began to sing. A few minutes of silent came when I finished, until he finally pulled me to my feet, and followed with his lines.

"_Lying here with you_

_Listening to the rain_

_Smiling just to see the smile upon your face_

_These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive_

_These are the moments I'll remember all my life_

_I found all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more_

_Looking in your eyes_

_Seeing all I need_

_Everything you are is everything to me_

_These are the moments_

_I know heaven must exist_

_These are the moments I know all I need is this_

_I have all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more."_ (2)

I shuddered when he reached for my hands and our fingers entwined. How it hurt to continue with this, singing with the true love that we felt, yet declaring it only to be an act.

It was tortuous.

"_I don't want a man to be my twin_

_Under my thumb, under my skin_

_Don't want a man like a shadow on the ground_

_With nothin' else to do but follow me around." _(1)

"_I could not ask for more than this time together_

_I could not ask for more than this time with you_

_Every prayer has been answered_

_Every dream I have's come true_

_And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be_

_Here with you here with me." _(2)

When he brought our hands against his cheek and closed his eyes, it took all of my energy and effort to remain where I was, having to be content with singing these lines and playing the role of some love-struck lover to Christian when, in reality, I was a love-struck lover to Christian.

"_I like a man who will cry on my shoulder_

_Who don't mind if I cry sometimes, too_

_That's what I like about you_

_I like a man who can make it happen_

_Who can get me laughin' _

_When my whole world breaks in two_

_That's what I like about you."_ (1)

Even when he began to sing again, his eyes remained closed, a smile playing across his face in pure rapture.

"_These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive_

_These are the moments I'll remember all my life_

_I've got all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more."_ (2)

Unable to have Christian in control any longer, for fear I would turn towards insanity, I released my hands, and rested them behind his neck. I looked up into his eyes and grinned, although I was unsure if it was because I was glad to finally be in his arms or because he had such a dumbfounded look on his face that he could not help appearing love-struck before my eyes.

"_You can be soft, honey, you can be strong_

_Maybe that's the reason we get along_

_Ev'rything you do, you do just right_

_You're tender in love, tough in a fight." _(1)

"_I could not ask for more than this time together_

_I could not ask for more than this time with you_

_Every prayer has been answered_

_Every dream I have's come true_

_And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be_

_Here with you here with me." _(2)

"_I like a man who will lay down beside me_

_Stand up to me, cry on my shoulder_

_Crazy about me, can live without me, too_

_That's what I like about_

_Can't live my life without_

_That's what I like about you." _(1)

Sizing the opportunity when I lowered my eyes, he pulled me onto my bed. With him on top of me, I only grinned in welcoming. Christian laughed and kissed me hard, roaming across my face, as if he could not get enough of me.

"Isabel… I…" Christian stopped, realizing he had lost control of himself, and he sat up, propped on his elbows as he looked down at me. "No. We can't."

"Yes, we can." I pressed, looking at him in the eyes, trying to show him that nothing had ended between us. "I love you."

"_I could not ask for more than the love you give me_

_'Cause it's all I've waited for _

_And I could not ask for more_

_I could not ask for more." _(2)

Christian cupped my face, his eyes lingering on my eyes as he moved in to kiss me tenderly on my lips.

I, however, took over the situation with the fire that had been sitting in the ashes, waiting to be rekindled once more.

* * *

1. Trisha Yearwood "That's What I Like About You"

2. Edwin McCain "I Could Not Ask For More"


	31. Burdens

**Chapter 31. Burdens**

Watching Christian and Isabel perform, smiling at one another and holding hands, I knew that something was there. The bitterness that arose at Isabel betraying Gregory dissipated when I saw the look on Giselle's face when Christian and Isabel kissed, clinging to one another as lovers might do.

How naïve could one be…

No matter how great of an actor you could be, one might never fully evoke what it is to be in love.

Yet they did so perfectly.

"Bravo!" I stood up and clapped, waiting for them to stop with their kisses. "Isabel?"

"Oh, yes." Isabel drew apart and laughed. "Was that a bit overdone, Cecille?"

"May I talk to you for a moment?" I suggested.

"Of course, Cecille." Isabel nodded, leaving only after smearing away the marks of her lips on Christian's face. "I am coming."

"What are you doing?" I shouted when we reached the back of the theatre.

"I am acting, Cecille." Isabel replied.

"Acting?" I laughed sardonically. "_That_ is not acting, Isabel. _That_ is kissing your lover in front of the entire cast."

Isabel paled at my anger.

"You cannot fool me," I reminded her. "I've been with nearly every man in Paris, as Giselle so nicely pointed out upon your first rehearsal. Do not deny that anything has changed with you and Christian. You still love one another."

"Oh Cecille," Isabel lowered her head. "You must think me awful."

"Gregory loves you, Isabel!" I turned towards where Christian stood on stage. "And you're off gallivanting with _him_!"

"What is wrong with Christian?"

"Nothing," I shook my head. "But if you still loved Christian, why did you lie to Gregory. He trusts you, Isabel. He _loves_ you. He is willing to sacrifice everything for you. Why are you setting him up for heartbreak?"

"I didn't mean to," guilt was etched across Isabel's face, but my anger overpowered my compassion. "I… I didn't want to hurt him. I knew his love was true, so I left Christian, but now he's back and I… I just cannot resist him, Cecille. Try as I might. There's just something there."

"That's because you love him!" I felt tears stinging my eyes in my fit of frustration. "I don't know what made you believe that lying to Gregory would make matters better. Soon enough your falsehoods will catch up to you, and then what will you do? Gregory is bound to find out about your lies, Isabel, and I am sure he is going to be hurt."

"Cecille…" Isabel wiped her own tears away and pointed to my face. "You're crying."

"Oh damn!" I turned away to wipe my tears, but only more took their place.

"You… you… you love Gregory…" Isabel looked into my eyes in contemplation. "You do, don't you?"

"It isn't about Gregory and me," I shook my head, trying to change the subject. "It's about you and him and what you're doing."

"You love him, Cecille." Isabel's tears dried as she acknowledged my problem. "Tell him, Cecille. It isn't fair to yourself."

"Isn't fair?" I laughed. "I've only loved him my whole life. I've only been faithful to him every moment of my life. If something were meant to happen between us, it would've already. I only grew up with him. Only spent as much time as I possibly could around him. Never… not once… has he made it known that he might have feelings for me. It won't change now."

"You love him…" Isabel repeated. "Nothing might have been there before, but that does not mean it can't be there now or in the future. Maybe the thought never crossed his mind, and you need to plant the seed there before it could grow and blossom?"

"Why should I listen to you?" I scoffed. "You… who is cheating on him with another man. You… who could have him murder all of Paris if you only asked it of him. You are going to hurt him." I fought back the tears, but they just kept coming. "I cannot believe you, Isabel."

"Can't believe me? You love him…"

"And you're feeding him lies. Setting him up for hurt. How could you?"

"My intentions were true…"

"No they're not."

"Why are you being so cruel?"

"Why are you being so completely naïve?" I fumed. "You are the luckiest girl, Isabel. You have two of the greatest men in the palm of your hand, and yet you choose to hurt them both. You leave Christian for Gregory, and hurt him, and you stay with Gregory when you love Christian. Imagine how stricken Gregory will be. He _will _find out, Isabel. He will be crushed. And I'll have to put him together, and Lord knows how that hurts me! Damn you! _Damn _you!"

My curses faded as I dropped to the ground, curled up and crying, not paying attention when my hair fell back, revealing all of the bruises upon my shoulders, neck, and collarbone.

"What was that about?" Christian asked as he trailed kisses up my arm as I stared down at my script. "You and Cecille. Quite a verbal fight, I could tell."

"Something is wrong with her," I could not get the image of her on the ground out of my mind, and pulled my arm from Christian to approach my mirror and look at my own collar. "Is it normal for a woman to have bruises upon her collar? Her neck?"

"Cecille has bruises there?" Christian rested his hands on my shoulder and smiled at my reflection.

"Something is wrong with her," I said again, memories of her for the past few weeks flashing through my mind. "Her spirit is diminishing. I don't know what it could be."

"Perhaps she is nervous for the production?" Christian suggested, kissing my cheek. "She is merely making up for your lack of anxiousness, oui?"

"No, Christian." I pulled away. "I am being serious. Cecille is different. Can you not notice the change in her spirit? Her aura has faded? She rarely smiles, and when she does, it seems so forced…"

"What reason has she to be so?" Christian asked. "Everything is going well enough for her. She is engaged. She does not have to bother with this play that Ziddler has thrown down upon us all. She gets to relax and critique. How much easier do you want it to be for her, _mon amour?_"

"Something is _wrong_," I told him once more. "I do not care if you are unwilling to admit it, but I will. You need not watch out for her, Christian, but Cecille is my friend and I will do all I can to ensure her safety."

"So independent and determined," Christian grabbed my arms and drew me to him. "You are beautiful, you know that, _ma belle_, oui?"

"_If I could win your heart_

_If you'd let me in your heart_

_I'd be so happy, baby_

_Just for these arms to be_

_Holding you close to me_

_There's nothing in this world I wouldn't try_

_No limit to what I'd do to make you mine, 'cause…" _(1)

I had sought consolation in the theatre when the cast had departed to practice lines elsewhere. Sitting in the shadows, where the only illumination that reminded me there was light emanated from Isabel's room, my thoughts flooded with Gregory and the pain that would soon be bestowed upon him.

"_I'd climb right up to the sky_

_I'd take down the stars_

_Just to be in your arms, baby_

_I'd go and capture the moon_

_That's what I would do_

_Just to hear you say that you love me_

_Just to hear you say that you love me." _(1)

Through Isabel's window, I could see her and Christian's shadows. They held each other, and whenever silence engulfed the theatre, Isabel's laughter would pour through her window and take over the quiet that surrounded me.

"_If I could taste your kiss_

_There'd be no sweeter gift_

_Heaven could offer, baby_

_I want to be the one_

_Living to give you love_

_I'd walk across this world just to be_

_Close to you 'cause I want you close to me, yeah…" _(1)

"I love you…" even at the distance I was from Isabel's room, I could hear them whispering their vows of devotion to one another.

Would this excruciation never end?

"_For the rest of my life_

_Love me for the rest of all time_

_Just say the word_

_And I'll give you my world_

_There's nothing I won't do_

_Baby, just to be with you." _(1)

Even before I saw him enter the theatre, look around, and approach me, I knew he was there. I could sense his presence. Feel his heart beating. He carried my heart, although I did not carry his. How would I not know where he was?

"Cecille?" Gregory ran a hand through his hair in perplexion at my residence onstage. "What are you doing here? Where is Isabel?"

"She is… out," I lied, still able to see her and Christian's silhouette from her window. "I presume she is out rehearsing for the performance, oui?"

"That sounds like her," Gregory grinned. "So ambitious. So determined and iron-willed…"

It took all my effort not to retort him through gritted teeth.

"How is life treating you?" Gregory inquired, sitting on the edge of the stage beside me, where my legs dangled. "Much less to trouble you, now that you do not need to bother with rehearsing."

"If only," I smiled. "So much is happening right now. So many different feelings. So many different situations."

"Anything you wish to talk about?"

"Nothing that needs to be burdened upon anyone else."

"There is nothing you could tell me that would be a burden," Gregory said sweetly. "You used to be able to tell me anything, Cecille. What happened to that girl?"

"She grew up," I looked up at him, refraining from crying. "Already the world has been too cruel. If only I had a place to run to… I am all alone."

"You will always have me," Gregory opened up his arms, and I moved into them, my tears making their presence known. "Did I not promise you I would be there whenever I could? If ever you are lonely…"

"If only you knew…" I mumbled.

"I wish you would tell me what is wrong."

If only you knew…

My love… Isabel's love… Ziddler's plan… Edmund's true nature…

"I'm sorry," I told him, knowing that a few days from now, it would be _me_, not Isabel, who would cause him pain. "I am so sorry, Gregory."

"There is nothing to be sorry about," Gregory reassured me, rubbing my back in comfort. "Nothing. You have only brought joy into my life, Cecille. Everything you do has lightened up my days. There is not a moment I can think of you causing harm to me."

Although _that_ certainly would end in time…

"I'm sorry."

1. Faith Hill "Just To Hear You Say You Love Me"


	32. The Best Day Of My Life

**AN: **I realize that Cecille is not the main character of my story, but I thought this chapter would be nice to put in before I build up to the climax. Thank you so much to the reviewers. You guys make me smile. Also, the song in this chapter has references to things that were not part of this specific time period, but I love this song and could not think of a better song to evoke the feeling I was trying to put forward. Please keep R&R!

* * *

**Chapter 32. The Best Day Of My Life **

Two days before the production…

Christian remained asleep on my bed, his script hanging in his idle hand that drooped off of the side of the bed. His hair had fallen over his face, and the sound of his breathing was as melodious as his songs.

"Isabel?"

I greeted Gregory's arrival in front of my bedroom door clad in only a robe, my hair tousled and tangled, and a bright smile.

"Good morning, Gregory." I leaned against my door as we stood face-to-face. "How was your day yesterday? Hopefully more entertaining than memorizing lines for a silly play, I'm sure."

"You are usually up and ready at this hour of the day," Gregory said in puzzlement. "Are you feeling ill?"

"No… no…" I shook my head, afraid he would send me to bed and wish to escort me in. "Certainly not. I just had a rather long rehearsal last night. I was kept up most of the night."

At least most of what I said was true…

"I suppose that means you are not available to go around town with me?" Gregory requested. "Keep me company as I bask in boredom with all the tittle-tattle of politics and financing and economics?"

"I wish I could…" I trailed off, knowing I was truly lying now. "But there are so many lines to know and perfect before the production of the play. There is much still to do. I could not possibly leave my… responsibilities… for a day of bliss."

"So selfless," Gregory pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. "My altruistic fiancé… _mon amour."_

"You flatter me too much," I pulled away as he kissed me. "I must go… there is much to do today and I have already started late."

"Falling behind in punctuality," Gregory teased.

"Just a bit," I provided him with a weak smile.

"You'll do fine, _ma belle_." Gregory promised. "Everything will turn out magnificent. You're in the play, remember?"

* * *

Never did I imagine that I would find Gregory at my bedroom door today.

Seeing him peek in shyly and watching his smile of relief appear at finding me before my vanity, brushing my hair, about to pull it up… never had I felt buoyant… so _alive_.

"Are you available today?" Gregory walked in hesitantly, not knowing if it were appropriate to enter a woman's room as she dressed herself up for the day.

"You can come in," I giggled as he grinned bashfully. "Yes… I guess I am not so occupied anymore. Now that I no longer have need to dally onstage, that is."

"Might you come and join me?" Gregory asked, nearing where I sat. "I have a reservation at a café and then I booked us a carriage to take us through the park. Isabel is busy today, and I was thinking that I should take this opportunity to spend some time with you."

"Isabel will _always_ be busy…" I stopped my talk of Isabel when Gregory set his hands upon my own when I reached to pull back my hair.

"Leave it down," Gregory set my hands on the top of my vanity. "You have such lovely hair, Cecille. No reason to have it up and away from the world."

"Count on you to bring up my spirits."

"I did not know they were in need of being lifted up."

"Whether or not they need to, you can alwaysbring them up further."

"It is only because I love to see you smile in joy," Gregory released my hands and stepped back. "A rather warm day we have. Are you sure you want to venture out in a dress with such a high neckline?"

"It is no bother to me," I stood up and allowed my hair to fall down over my shoulders. "Just you wait, Gregory. High necklines will be in fashion soon enough."

"Anything you wear will be the fashion of Paris," Gregory complimented before holding out his hand. "Ready for the day ahead, Cecille?"

"What a ridiculous question!" I laughed. "I have been waiting for a day like this all of my life."

* * *

"How is life treating you, Cecille?" Gregory inquired over lunch. "Nothing too stressful? Too hard? Too hurtful?"

"Handling life the best I can," I reached for a croissant and picked at it. "Does not mean that all is going well, but I'm taking it as it comes."

"Anything you wish to talk about?"

"Nothing that I want to bring up."

"Any question you want to ask me?"

"Do you miss being young?"

"I like to think I'm _still_ young."

"You are," I laughed, tossing back my head, and making many couples around us stare.

How I loved what Gregory brought out in me…

"I mean, do you miss when the worst thing there was to worry of was our parents finding out that we had snuck off with more dessert than we should?" I leaned over, not wanting anyone to overhear our talk, as ridiculous as it may seem to others. "Whatever happened to those times? To those days? When did life suddenly become so much… _more_?"

"I suppose everything that occurs was already around us," Gregory answered simply. "It is just that _we_ end up changing, and noticing such things within life. We begin to see the broader perspective, outside of stealing cookies and begging the cook for more sweets at night."

"Well… _I_ miss those days," I replied. "My life then seems to be completely different than what it is now. It seems as if I've died and came back. Nothing is the same."

"Is that such a dreadful thing?" Gregory looked over at a couple. "In exchange of our childhood, we get to experience more beautiful, wondrous things. I would not exchange the love I feel for an eternity of desserts now."

"Are you sure you're still young?" I teased. "You seem quite old to me."

"Only because you are still young," Gregory retorted.

"Oh, am I now?" I smirked in amusement. "How so?"

"You still look at windows that we pass and grin at your reflection. You still wake up early without an ounce of inclination to go back to sleep. You can still stand in front of your vanity staring at your reflection, contemplating what needs to be fixed to look presentable for the day, until I come in and tell you nothing needs to be fixed. You still carry yourself lightly, as if anticipating me to jump out from behind a corner and scare you senseless. You still have no shame in tossing back your head and letting out a good laugh when times call upon it, caring not what observers or passerby might think. You still choose to tear apart your meal before you eat it…"

"Oh," I looked down at the croissant that was shredded on my plate. "I had forgotten that I was doing it. I am so used to…"

"You do not have to remind me," Gregory chuckled and placed a hand on my chin, looking me in the eyes. "You are so beautiful, Cecille. Edmund is a lucky man…"

"I suppose so," I lowered my eyes, choosing to look away from Gregory's gaze.

"That is where you are different," Gregory remarked. "You were always so sure of yourself, Cecille. So confident. Ready to express yourself at every moment of the day. I do not know why you retreat whenever I bring up certain things."

"Times have changed."

"But does that mean our relationship must?"

I certainly did not want to have it make this turn, but I wanted our relationship to change nonetheless.

"Don't you ever wonder if things might have been different?" I said softly, keeping my eyes away from his. "If certain situations and relationships might have been entirely different. If it were possible that they still can be."

"I believe everyone feels that at times."

"Well… I feel that all the time." I admitted, pushing my plate away from me and standing up. "I have no appetite again. I am sure you remember my numerous meals never eating anything. I am ready when you are to leave."

"If Mademoiselle Cecille bids it so," Gregory stood up and bowed, holding his arm out to direct me to a carriage towards the park.

* * *

_My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all_

_The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all_

_And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall_

_It reminds me that it's not so bad_

_It's not so bad…(1)_

Riding in the carriage with Gregory, our discourse and exchange of words never fully registered in my head over the rapid beating of my heart. Already, I could hear my soul singing, the only sound I could hear within the carriage.

_I drank too much last night, got bills to pay_

_My head just feels in pain_

_I missed the bus and there'll be hell today_

_I'm late for work again and even if I'm there,_

_They'll all imply that I might not last the day_

_And then you call me and it's not so bad_

_It's not so bad and…(1)_

"Favorite color?"

"Still red and pink. Usual day as Duke?"

"Nothingness with only boredom as company. Favorite part of working for Ziddler?"

"Seeing Giselle's face when another production is a success."

Our queries towards one another were shot as if tossing a ball back and forth. The scenarios of the park were dull in comparison with the splendor of talking and laughing along with Gregory.

_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life_

_Oh just to be with you is giving me the best day of my life…(1)_

"Love?"

"Is more exuberant than words can describe. Edmund?"

"Is someone I would rather not talk about. Music?"

"I can see with even more appreciation after hearing Isabel sing. Favorite song?"

"Whatever song my soul might be praising today."

How easy it was to talk with Gregory. I could go on for hours, resting chin in my hand and gawking at Gregory with the serenity nothing else in the world might provide me with.

Did he not see how compatible we both were?

"Favorite season?"

"Spring because the dullness of winter fades away without a second thought once the flowers begin to bloom and the skies welcome the sun. Favorite food?"

"Whatever desserts our old cook might be able to conjure up from scratch. Best day ever?"

"Today without a doubt."

_Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through_

_Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you_

_And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue_

_Because you're near me and…(1)_

"Any doubts of the past?"

"Not meeting Isabel earlier. Same question."

"Yes. Too many to name."

"Like what?"

"It's my turn for the question," I hit him lightly on his arm in a jesting manner. "Trying to cheat me now?"

"It's what I do," Gregory shrugged. "Like what?"

"What?"

"You already asked your question. I'm using the same question from before."

"I didn't ask you a question."

"Yes, you did." Gregory decided to prove his point by quoting me. "Trying to cheat me now?"

"I don't need to, you just did it to yourself." I grinned. "_You_ just asked _me_ a question."

"Sly you," Gregory laughed.

"The slyest of them all."

_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life_

_Oh just to be with you is giving me the best day of my life.(1)_

I saw Gregory's eyes drift outside where a couple walked hand-in-hand.

"Do you ever wonder if things might have been different?"

"Yes," Gregory pressed a hand against the window, as if reaching for a memory. "But I have nothing in life to want to be different."

"Do you think that the way things are might not be exactly the best thing for us?" I leaned towards him and set a hand on his against the window. "That there might be something better out there for everyone than what we already have?"

"It's quite possible," Gregory agreed, his eyes never leaving the window.

"I'm all out of questions," I released my hand and leaned against my seat, knowing well that the hope I clung to was nothing mutual. "Your turn."

"Questions?" Gregory breathed. "I believe I am done as well."

"Do you ever think that maybe we might…"

"I thought we were all done with questions."

I knew Gregory did not mean to say what he did to hurt me. He was so lost in his thoughts of Isabel and returning to her, that he found my talk droll, just as I found Edmund's somniferous. I would probably rather hear him say this than contribute to my hope with enthusiasm and reluctance in being with me. False hope got me nowhere, but the truth sure did.

The truth was that he loved Isabel.

The truth was that he had only asked me because Isabel could not come.

The truth was that Isabel could not come because she was not done with her affair with Christian.

"I believe we are," I moved my legs onto the cushions of my seat, leaning my back against the door, and waiting for when I would return to the Moulin Rouge and Edmund.

I had sacrificed a beating from Edmund for a day with Gregory, where he would only think of Isabel.

Not even Edmund's beatings hurt more than what I felt right now, knowing that no amount of joking and laughing and entertaining evenings with other women would soften Gregory's love for Isabel.

* * *

1. Dido "Thank You" 


	33. Two Days Before Showtime

**AN: **Sorry for such a short chapter. Haven't had much time to write lately, but hopefully with the Holiday weekend, I will have more time to. Much thanks to the reviews who make this experience a pleasant one. A million hugs and kisses to you all! Please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 33. Two Days Until Showtime**

Never in my life had I spent an entire day in my room, but with Christian rehearsing our lines with one another, it was not such an arduous task to perform. Waking up from an afternoon nap in his arms, I had never felt more at home.

"_And in your eyes I see ribbons of color_

_I see us inside of each other_

_I feel my unconscious merge with yours_

_And I hear a voice say, 'What's his is hers'." _(1)

Slowly, I ran my fingers through Christian's hair, pushing it off of his forehead and pressing my lips against the newly exposed flesh. When he began to stir, I continued to play with his hair, a smile growing wider with each passing moment.

_"I'm falling into you_

_This dream could come true_

_And it feels so good falling into you." (1)_

Christian's eyes fluttered open as the first thing he saw was my smile grinning at him. Turning over so we faced each other, he kissed me and began toying with my hair as well.

"Good morning," he welcomed.

_"I was afraid to let you in here_

_Now that I have learned love can't be made in fear_

_The walls begin to tumble down_

_And I can't even see the ground_

_I'm falling into you_

_This dream could come true_

_And it feels so good falling into you." _(1)

His response followed rapidly as we held hands and allowed our fingers to entwine. I closed my eyes to enable his words to settle in deeper than they already did.

"_Who knows what tomorrow brings_

_In a world few hearts survive_

_All I know is the way I feel_

_When it's real, I keep it alive_

_The road is long, there are mountains in our way,_

_But we climb a step everyday." _(2)

_"Falling like a leaf, falling like a star_

_Finding a belief, falling where you are."_ (1)

Feeling our voices merge together, our love so easily entwined and evoked within our songs, I felt as if we were flying amongst the clouds. How easily our singing could transport me to a world I had never knew existed before this.

_"Catch me, don't let me drop!_

_Love me, don't ever stop!"_ (1)

_"Love lifts us up where we belong,_

_Where the eagles cry_

_On a mountain high_

_Love lifts us up where we belong,_

_Far from the world below,_

_Up where the clear winds blow."_ (2)

_"So close your eyes and let me kiss you_

_And while you sleep I will miss you." _(1)

_"Some hang on to 'used to be,'_

_Live their lives looking behind._

_All we have is here and now,_

_All our life, out there to find._

_The road is long, there are mountains in our way,_

_But we climb a step everyday."_ (2)

Christian leaned in and kissed me once more, pulling me towards his warmth, which made my bed creak as if giving way. Much to our fortune, the bed remained in one piece, and I let out a laugh before kissing him and continuing.

_"I'm falling into you_

_This dream could come true_

_And it feels so good falling into you." (1)_

_"Love lifts us up where we belong,_

_Where eagles cry_

_On a mountain high._

_Love lift us up where we belong_

_Far from the world we know_

_Where the clear winds blow." _(2)

"I love you," I whispered as if telling a secret. "But you already know that."

"No more than I love you, _mon amour._"

_"Falling like a leaf, falling like a star_

_Finding a belief, falling where you are_

_Falling into you_

_Falling into you_

_Falling into you." (1)_

"_Time goes by, no time to cry,_

_Life's you and I. A life today." _(2)

"And thank the Lord for _that_," I remarked before we went back to our so-called rehearsals.

* * *

"Are you quite sure?" Edmund persisted to Ziddler in his office. "Everything is in order as we had planned?"

"Yes," Ziddler nodded and indicated the singing and commotion that echoed from the theatre of the Moulin Rouge. "Two days remain, Edmund, and all is going as you wanted."

"And the girl?" Edmund sneered at the thought of her. "Has she no idea what is occurring?"

"She and Christian are completely clueless to what we have in store," Ziddler promised. "As far as they are concerned, their role in the play is only to perform and succeed. They seem to be getting along as we had planned. All of the cast admits they suspect an affair at hand. All except Mademoiselle Giselle."

"What a fool!" Edmund slammed his fists on the desk. "I knew she wasn't to be trusted, and yet Gregory persists. I am only looking out for his welfare. He is like a brother to me. Yet he disobeys me, believing her to be some angel when she's off selling her body to that penury fellow!"

"But it shall be over soon…"

"Yes," Edmund leaned back and laughed in his diablerie. "It is indeed all going according to plan."

* * *

1. Celine Dion "Falling Into You"

2. Joe Cocker "Up Where We Belong"


	34. Still According To Plan

**AN: **Sorry for the delay in updating at the moment. I was completely occupied during the weekend and just now had the opportunity to take up and write. Would've posted the chapter earlier, but my computer malfunctioned for awhile and then I was unable to log-in on the site. Hope you all enjoy this. Please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 34. Still According To Plan **

"Stage right!" Cecille stood up from where she sat and cursed at the dancers in the background. "How do you expect us to perform this production when you all cannot even decipher stage directions!"

With one day remaining until this play, I could see the anxiousness that had taken reign of Cecille. On edge and irritable, just mumbling one line or stuttering for a moment set her off.

"I look ridiculous!" Giselle complained, stepping forward and holding out her arms so everyone could see her costume. "How do you expect people to find me worth Christopher's time dressed as a human peacock!"

"You look ridiculous everyday," Cecille motioned for Giselle to step aside. "If you have any concerns regarding costumes, please refrain until after rehearsals."

"_You _don't look ridiculous," Christian whispered in my ear when Giselle stomped off. "In fact, you are the most beautiful woman in this room. In all of Paris."

"Save your love for the play," I walked back to my position on stage, not letting go of his hand until I had to. "We shall blow them all away."

"Alright!" Cecille clapped her hands. "Set up for the last scene. Isabel. Christian. I need you to move to front and center. Everyone is cleared away and off stage. Christopher and Bella are meeting once more in the garden of her husband's home. They are professing their vows, not aware that Gabriella, that's you Giselle, is hiding in the shadows, ready to fulfill her jealous deed. She is full of murderous jealousy after seeing Christopher attend a party that Bella and her husband hosted. The man that she thought might someday love her was in fact in love with the wife of the wealthiest man in all of Paris."

My heartbeat accelerated as Christian and I were left alone onstage, with Giselle hidden in the shadows of a fake tree. Holding hands, I looked into his eyes and smiled, trying not to see the whole cast below us in the audience, watching our every movement.

"_I never knew love like this before_

_Now I'm lonely never more_

_Since you came into my life_

_You are my lovelight, this I know_

_And I'll never let you go_

_You my all, you're part of me." _(1)

A smile of relief passed my face as I let out a breath. Christian, sensing my tension, squeezed my hand and pulled me a bit closer when he began his lines.

"_Friday night I crashed your party_

_Saturday I said I'm sorry_

_Sunday came and trashed me out again." _(2)

"_Once I was lost and now I'm found_

_Then you turned my world around_

_When I need you, I call your name_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_Opened my eyes_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_What a surprise_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before."_ (1)

"_I was only having fun_

_Wasn't hurting anyone_

_And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change." _(2)

Christian shrugged and I let out a laugh before setting my hands on his shoulders and stepping on my toes to look him straight in the eyes.

"_This feeling's so deep inside of me_

_Such a tender fantasy_

_You're the one I'm living for_

_You are my sunlight and my rain_

_And time could never change_

_What we share forever more, ooh…hooo…"_ (1)

"_I've been stranded in the combat zone_

_I walked through all my life alone_

_Even walked by my lonesome self in the rain_

_And you told me not to drive_

_But I made it home alive_

_So you said that only proves that I'm insane." _(2)

"_I never knew love like this before_

_Now I'm lonely never more_

_Since you came into my life_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_Opened my eyes_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_What a surprise_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before." _(1)

Christian, knowing we were on the verge of kissing and professing our love further than needed for the production, released me and took a step back, ready to become the role of an outrageous, love-sick Christopher.

_"You may be right_

_I may be crazy_

_But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for_

_Turn out the light_

_Don't try to save me_

_You may be wrong for all I know_

_But you may be right." _(2)

I allowed myself a moment to get into character as well while approaching Christian, tossing back my head confidently and setting a hand on his chest.

"You _are my lovelight, this _I _know_

_And I'll never let you go_

_You my all, you're part of me_

_Once I was lost and now I'm found_

_Then you turned my world around_

_When I need you, I call your name." _(1)

Christian grinned before chuckling and staring at me like a love-struck fool.

"_Remember how I found you there_

_Alone in your bedroom chair_

_I told you dirty jokes until you smiled_

_You were lonely for a man_

_I said take me as I am_

_'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile." _(2)

"_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_Opened my eyes_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_What a surprise_

_'Cause I never knew love like this before_

_Inside of me_

_I never (Never) knew love like this before_

_Opened my eyes." (1)_

Upon me finishing my verse, Christian seized my hand and brought it to his cheek, closing his eyes for a blissful moment before kissing it and setting it at my side.

"_Now think of all the years you tried to_

_Find someone to satisfy you_

_I might be as crazy as you say_

_If I'm crazy then it's true_

_That it's all because of you_

_And you wouldn't want me any other way." (2)_

"_Never (Never), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (I never knew, I never knew I never)_

_Never (Never), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (I never knew, I never knew I never knew)_

_Never (Never), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (I never knew)_

_Never (Never knew), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (I never knew)." _(1)

"_You may be right_

_I may be crazy_

_But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for_

_It's too late to fight_

_It's too late to change me_

_You may be wrong for all I know_

_But you may be right." _(2)

Even as Christian and I held hands once more and looked into each others eyes, completely occupied with the love that surrounded us, I could feel Giselle's jealousy. Her eyes burned on eyes like hot coals, and I could hear her slowly stepping towards us despite our singing.

"_Never (Never knew), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (I never knew, I never knew I never knew)_

_Never (I never knew, I never knew), never (I never)_

_Never knew love like this (Never knew)_

_Never (Never knew), never (Never)_

_Never knew love like this (Opened my eyes)_

_Never (What a surprise). _(1)

"_You may be right_

_I may be crazy _

_But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for_

_It's too late to fight_

_It's too late to change me_

_You may be wrong for all I know_

_But you may be right._

_You may be wrong but you may be right_

_You may be wrong but you may be right." _(2)

Resting our heads atop one another's shoulder as we embraced, I closed my eyes, hearing Giselle's ragged breathing when she reached inside her dress. Squeezing my eyes shut, Christian and I sang together in our final moment in the play.

"'_Cause I never knew love like this before…" _(1)

Although we had rehearsed the part numerous times in the past, when Giselle broke us apart, pointing the gun between my eyes, I let out a apprehensive scream nonetheless… just as Gregory was walking into the theatre.

* * *

"What is this?" I demanded Cecille while Isabel cried onstage in Christian's comforting arms. "What use is there for a gun onstage, Cecille?"

"It is part of the play," Cecille answered defensively, her eyes looking at me in fear of my anger. "We have rehearsed it many times before, Gregory. Isabel is only overreacting."

"I never knew of this scene," I ignored Cecille's last statement. "My cousin did not inform me that Isabel would be in such a position during this production."

"I am sure there are many things that Edmund does not inform you about."

"I refuse to have Isabel in this position again," I looked over at Isabel. "Isabel!"

"I am coming."

Behind the smile she offered me, I could still see the effect her last scene had put on her. Tears rolled down her cheek effortlessly, and I reached to brush them away tenderly, only wanting to hold her in my arms and never let her go.

Isabel walked into my outstretched arms without a second thought, her ragged cries muffled by my overcoat from the meeting I had just attended. Kissing her forehead, I looked up at Cecille and my anger came back.

"I do not want this production to occur," I ordered. "And if this play continues, Isabel will not be performing in it."

"Isabel is the star!"

"Find yourself a new star," I directed Cecille's attention towards a young woman dressed in a horrendous burgundy gown. "She seems quite able to take her spot."

"Giselle does not have the time, nor the comprehension, to play this part." Cecille crossed her arms, her usual defiance taking front. "Don't be stubborn, Gregory. We aren't children anymore. Isabel is a grown woman and can suck it up for one more day. The play is only tomorrow. After that, you two lovebirds can go get married and live happily ever after, just as _you _want."

"I do not care if I am being stubborn, Cecille. I am Duke and I will pay for every seat in this theatre, if need be, to prevent this same catastrophe from occurring again."

"I refuse to explain this to Edmund."

"Then _I_ will," I told her. "So long as Isabel does not have to partake in this fiasco ever again."

"Gregory," Isabel brought her head up and wiped her eyes. "I… I can do this."

"No, you can't." I wiped her cheeks. "You look so distressed right now, _ma belle_. You do not need this in your life."

"I need to perform," Isabel pressed on. "If not for myself, then for all of the people here who invested so much of their time into making this play a reality. It is a commitment I took up when it all began, and it is one I should finish."

"If it means that much to you," I kissed her on the cheek. "I just do not want to see you hurt."

"Funny how love can have you so malleable," Cecille remarked.

To Cecille's comment, I could only smile and laugh.

She was right.

I would do anything for Isabel if she asked it of me.

* * *

"Isabel screamed?" Ziddler raised his eyebrows as I told him the events of the last rehearsal. "She has never went out of character before."

"She was so lost in character that she did not realize Giselle would interrupt her little duet with her lover," I scoffed, quite irritated. "Gregory walked in just as Isabel lost it and threw a commotion over the whole occurrence. He wanted to call of the production."

"Call it off?" Ziddler shook his head. "No. We cannot do that."

"Exactly," I agreed, thinking of Edmund. "But Isabel actually _wants_ to perform. She said she wanted to and Gregory completely altered his position to obey her wishes."

"The boy is a fool for her."

"It's sickening," I clutched my stomach at the knot that formed. "And here Isabel is dallying with Christian."

"So all is still in order?"

"Yes," I nodded as Ziddler moved a box across his desk into my hands. "Just as you wanted."

"I trust you know what to do from here?" Ziddler questioned when I stood up with the box and walked to the door.

"Yes," I reassured him. "Isabel is not the only great actress the Moulin Rouge has to offer, as you all already know."

* * *

1. Stephanie Mills "Never Knew Love Like This Before" 

2. Billy Joel "You May Be Right" (edited slightly for the storyline)


	35. Cecille's Cleverness

**AN:** I am so sorry for the delay in updating. No excuses. Just so caught up in life and trying to deal with my own little "love" life as well. Sorry the chapter is rather short. I promise a longer chapter next update, which is, hopefully, going to be quite soon. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you so much to my wonderful readers. I love you all more than a vase loves a bookshelf.

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**Chapter 35. Loving Gregory **

It was sickening what I planned to do.

The one friend I did have I planned to kill off this evening because of my selfishness.

As sickening as it was to think about, it was worse that I almost _wanted_ it to occur.

With Isabel gone, I would be free to win Gregory. I would comfort him over the loss of his fiancé and eventually he would realize that it was me he loved. It was me who remained loyal to him. While Isabel was off on her affair with Christian, I was staying true to him, loving him all the more for everything he did.

Although I had not been on stage for months now, I still knew my way around. Giselle's room remained in the farthest corner from the stage, where the only other creatures to keep her company were the spiders.

Giselle opened her door with a bottle of ale in her hand and her rumpled dress half falling off her, revealing a yellowed corset. She leaned against the door, her legs buckling from her weight, and I reached out to stabilize her body to prevent her from crashing to the floor.

"I don't.. neeed your help." Giselle slurred her words as I helped her into her room and set her on her bed, where she fell back and let out a loud belch. "I… I am quite fiiine sitting heeere in…my room…"

"Come on now," I pulled her up and grabbed the bottle from her hands. "You're a complete mess, Giselle. More than usual. Get some sense into your mind for a moment."

"Yooou think you're so peeeerfect." Giselle sneered, her head lowering as she went in and out of consciousness. "You and yoooour rich fiancé."

"How do you think the rehearsal went today?" I asked her, trying to ignore the fact that she did not possess the comprehension right now to make imperative decisions. "Did you think Isabel would act like that today? That was very uncalled for, if I might remark."

"I haaaate her," Giselle was about to fall back again, but I held her up. "Her and her duuuuke. Traaash."

"Do you think it's fair that she is the star tomorrow?" I coaxed. "That all of those people will be admiring her when they _should _be admiring you?"

"What… what kiiind of question iiiis that?" Giselle snorted during her laughter. "Of _course_ thaat wretch doesn't deeeeserve it."

"What would you do if I could offer you the spotlight?" I suggested. "Give you the notice that you deserve?"

"Liiiiar," Giselle shook her head, pulling away so that she was against the wallwith herback restingagainst it, laughing. "What could yooooou do for meee? Noooothing."

"Everything you could ever want… any fame that you wished you had… this box offers you." I shoved the box into her hands. "It's all there."

"Whooo do you taaake me for?" Giselle sneered when she peeked into the box. "It will neeeever work."

"If you do not want to partake in the matter," I reached out for the box. "There are many others who are willing."

"Wait," Giselle pulled the box out of my grasp and stared into it. "I guess you want me tooo…"

"It's self-explanatory," I nodded.

"Everyone will notice me," Giselle said to herself as she began to laugh. "Everyone who paid to seeee Isabel will see me. I will be the staaar."

"Of course," I agreed while leaving Giselle with her drunken talk and the plans soon to come.

* * *

I opened my eyes and smiled when a pair of eyes gazed back at me lovingly. Sitting up, I closed my eyes and kissed him.

"Good morning C…" I stopped myself when I realized the silk I felt beneath my hands was certainly not that of the man I thought of. "Gregory?"

"I thought I would surprise you with a bit of a gift before the play," Gregory handed me a small case. "I know it was a bit delayed, but I thought you might want to wear it during the production. You know, a sign of my affections to allow everyone in the audience to know that the angel on stage is already taken."

Inside the case, resting on a velvet cushion, was a golden band. Diamonds clustered together, gleaming like starlight as light caught upon its surface. As Gregory slipped the ring upon my finger, I realized this was the first piece of jewelry ever given to me.

"No one has ever given me something like this before," I looked up at him, although my mind was still enthralled over his present. "It's gorgeous."

"You're gorgeous," Gregory tucked some of my hair behind my ear and kissed me lightly. "No one has ever given me such love. It is worth all of the diamonds I could buy you."

"I must practice," I drew away from his gaze, shame replacing the joy that was there only moments ago. "I am probably already late. Cecille shall be quite flustered with me again."

"Take a break."

Gregory followed me to my bureau, where I, so lost in my thoughts of not being late, had began to take off my nightgown. When I reached for my costume clad only in my corset, I stopped and looked over my shoulder at Gregory. His eyes had looked over me from head to toe, and he suddenly blushed. Turning his back to me, I continued dressing until I grabbed his shoulder when I had finished.

"You act as if you have never seen a woman in her corset before," I teased him.

"I haven't."

"You…haven't?"

"I don't see why you're so surprised," Gregory chuckled. "I've been waiting all my life for someone to be faithful to, and then I found you."

"Well that certainly puts me in a predicament," I laughed jokingly. "Not really… I suppose."

"You… suppose?" Gregory raised his eyebrows in question.

"I suppose…" I turned my head to gather my thoughts and gave him a smile to deter his thoughts. "I truly am a good girl, Gregory."

"I believe you," Gregory kissed me briefly and held my chin in his hands. "You are gorgeous, _ma belle_."

"A bit redundant, don't you think?" I stepped away and headed to the door. "Rehearsals all day, you know."

"Might you take a day off?"

"During the day of the production?" I questioned innocently. "I could not abandon my fellow cast members now, Gregory. It would be horrid of me."

"So much dedication," Gregory stepped forward. "I have something… there is something I need to…"

"There's no time!" I rushed off, more late than usual. "I'll just talk to you later!"

* * *

"Gregory?" I gasped at his reflection in my vanity and turned around with a smile on. "I was not expecting you today. What brings you at this part of the theatre?"

"Am I not allowed to visit a good friend?" Gregory entered my room, ducking at the many bouquets scattered throughout my room. "Is there an admirer I should be aware of?"

"Goodness no," I laughed and shook my head. "Just the usual fans of mine who are sending good luck flowers, not realizing that I don't have the lead in this production."

"Quite the popular one, Cecille."

"If you would like to refer to it as that," I shrugged and pulled back my hair into a chignon. "Those people don't know me. They only know what they want to believe is true about myself."

"If they did know you, you would be popular still." Gregory complimented. "I cannot see how anyone that gets to know you cannot fall in love with you."

"It's possible," I remarked offhandedly, trying my best not to sound bitter. "How come you are not with Isabel? I am sure she is in need of your blessings of luck more than I. She's the one carrying the show this time."

"I already bid her good morning," Gregory sat down on my bed and allowed one leg to drape off of the side. "But she was in a rush to get to rehearsals."

"Rehearsals?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yes," Gregory answered. "Isabel told me there were rehearsals today."

Even now she was lying to him.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to compose myself from revealing my candid thoughts that rested upon the tip of my tongue.

"I just thought I would stop by and give you a gift." Gregory told me as he handed me a small box. "You have always been there for me, Cecille, and I can trust you to help me through thick and thin."

Reaching for the box, I let my hand rest atop the box, my fingers brushing his. Holding back my breath, I looked up at him in the eyes, and no amount of self-control could contain the feelings I felt looking into his eyes.

"There are no rehearsals today, Gregory. We never rehearse during the day of performances."

"No rehearsals?" Gregory withdrew his hand so that I was left staring only at my hand that grasped the small black box. "But, Isabel said…"

"Isabel was lying," I turned around in my seat so I now faced my vanity. "If anything, she is probably with Christian. Perhaps you should take it up with her. She is, no doubt, over at Christian's house right now."

"I think I shall."

Even after Gregory had left me in pursuit of Isabel, I sat staring down at the box in my hands. How great it was that Gregory still thought of me, even when his thoughts were filled with only Isabel, but I knew nothing within this box would give me what I wanted… what, it seemed, I needed.

Removing the lid, I stared down at the silver chain and the bright gem that sparkled at the center. On the back of the chain, inscribed were the words:

_The Sun That Shines Behind The Rain_

As I finished clasping on the necklace, I looked up to see my reflection.

Despite the tears that blinded my eyes, the gem was still seen sparkling back at me.

_He still remembered…

* * *

_

_"Gregory!" I hollered throughout the garden, willing to risk the scolding I would receive for being out at this hour for the chance to find him. "Gregory, you best be coming out of hiding right now!"_

_"Ah, Cecille." Gregory sat around the grand water fountain, his legs propped up against his chest. "You don't want to see me like this."_

_Thirteen years of existence had not made Gregory's face become devoid of his baby fat quite yet. His cheeks still remained on the chubby side and were red with tears. His longer locks clung to the sides of his face, wet with the tears that were still falling. When he looked up at me, his mortification and misery welcoming me to accompany him, I sat down right beside him, mimicking his position._

_"You going to tell me what happened now?" _

_"It was that musician," Gregory wiped his nose. "She was so pretty, Cecille. I could tell from the first time she hit the wrong note that I was in love. I couldn't help it that, when I went to congratulate her after her performance, I stole a kiss."_

_"You kissed her?" I tossed back my head and laughed. "But she's so much older than you, Gregory! What a goose you are!" when Gregory only groaned and lowered his head, I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. "Don't worry. She's more of a goose for not liking you back. She wasn't even that great of a musician, if you ask me."_

_"Don't say that!" Gregory defended. "She might not have been playing like everyone else, but that's what makes her great, Cecille. She wasn't afraid to stand out. It's beautiful."_

_"If you had told anyone else, they might think you were crazy." I remarked. "But I understand."_

_"Do you think someday someone might like me?" Gregory sniffled. "I sure hope every girl I kiss doesn't treat me like she did."_

_"As long as I'm around, they shan't." I affirmed firmly. "If they do, they have me to speak to."_

_"Oh, don't do anything horrible, Cecille." Gregory begged. "I know what you're capable of, and I don't want anyone to suffer on account of me."_

_"You soft-hearted fellow," I tease. "Denying me some fun."_

_"There's other ways to have funinsteadofpoking people provokingly."_

_"I've only done it a few times." _

_We both laughed at that lie._

_"Please, promise me you won't ever use your cleverness to hurt anyone. Especially someone that means something to me."_

_"Like that's hard to keep. I would never want to hurt you Gregory. I promise."_

_"Really?"_

_"Of course. Do you not believe me?"_

_"Do you think I don't?"_

_"We could go on about this all night," I laughed boisterously._

_"I love how you can make me so happy, Cecille." Gregory grinned at me. "I felt so bad right before you came, but now I'm not angry at all."_

_"I'm glad I could be of service to you, Monsieur Gregory." I got up and bowed before him. "It is my pleasure."_

_"No," Gregory reached for my hand and kissed it. "It is mine."_

_"Are you ready to go back now, Monsieur Goose?"_

_"You're the true goose, Cecille."_

_"You're probably true," I admitted. "But don't let anyone else know."_

_"Ah, Cecille, how I love you!" Gregory hugged me and kissed my cheek. "I can always count on you. You're the sun that shines behind the rain, for me."_

_"Really?" I batted my eyelashes innocently. "You think?"_

_"Of course," Gregory hit my lightly in a jest. "No matter how bad the storm, you seem to be able to bring the light back into my life. My sun, Mademoiselle Cecille."_

_"How flattering," I giggled._

_"I'm being serious now," Gregory held out his hand. "I think I'm ready to go back now."_

_"I'm glad," I grabbed his hand and was all smiles when he wrapped his arm around me as he escorted me back in._

_During those few minutes walking back indoors, something occurred between Gregory and myself. Something that I could not describe at the time, but had me grinning like a fool and had my stomach turning in the first stomachache that was pleasant. _

_That night was the first time I realized I was in love with him._

_And now I was going to break my promise..._


	36. Come What May

**AN: **Alright, here is one of my longer chapters. Hope you all enjoy and it doesn't leave you on that much of a cliffhanger. Please tell me what you guys think. The story is almost at its closure, and if there's anything you could possibly say, please feel free to do so. I love you all more than a television loves a board game. Enjoy your weekend. I'll try to submit the next chapter a.s.a.p. Also, I do not own the song Come What May. This is an extremely wonderful song, and I would love to take credit for it, but I cannot. Wouldn't just given credit at the end of the chapter, but I'm sure you all know the song well enough to know it is not my own. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 36. Come What May**

A loud banging on my door made my thoughts stir from the past to present time. Looking up at my reflection for the first time, my tears now dry, I hollered for the person to enter.

"I'll never understand why people find you worth sending flowers to," my mirror reflected Giselle who closed the door and pulled a rose from one of the bouquets.

"I'm assuming you didn't get any flowers."

"My room is too small to hold flowers anyway," Giselle leaned against the wall next to my vanity. "You going to tell me why you thought I'd do your deed for you? Where do you come off influencing me when I'm drunk?"

"You weren't sober?" I covered my mouth in a semblance of shock. "You didn't seem any different, Giselle. I never would've guessed."

"You want someone to do your dirty deeds?"

"What dirty deeds could that be?"

"I am not in the mood to deal with you of all people, Cecille." Giselle turned and walked off. "I want no part in your dirty work."

"Wait…" I called out to Giselle's retreating figure. "Don't leave. I need you in this."

"What do _you_ need _me_ for?" Giselle sneered, crossing her arms. "If you want that wretch gone, kill her yourself."

"Please," I begged. "I can't do it."

"Not very strong _now_ are you?" Giselle smirked. "You're truly sick, do you know that, Cecille? Who does something like this and doesn't even have the gall to pull through with it?"

"It's something that has to be done."

"You know the difference between you and me, Cecille? I am rude and condescending to everyone, but you lead them on before making it known that you're poisonous. At least I have the decency to show my venom. No deceptions here."

"If you do it… I'll cast _you_ as the star from now on." I chose my words carefully to prevent myself from saying something wrong. "I'll… never perform again. The stage will be left to you. Everyone will admire you. You'll get flowers… probably this very room. It'll all be yours."

"Bribery?" Giselle cackled. "What else are you capable of?"

"Please."

"You have everything I've ever wanted," Giselle grabbed the box that she had set on my vanity. "_Everything_. I'll do it, but I'll never understand why you would throw it all away. It sure as hell better be a great life you'll be having after the complete hell you'll produce tonight."

_If only..._

"It's what must be done."

"Whatever makes you sleep at night."

* * *

"The day of the performance," I kissed Christian with each word. "Tonight we'll be together… forever."

"Sounds like a good time to me," Christian returned my kiss andpulled me down on his bed. "_Mon amour."_

"A whole night of professing our love to one another," I laughed at the thought. "Just imagine. People are actually paying to come see us show them just how much we truly love one another."

"Sounds like a good time to me."

"Is that all you have to say to everything at the moment?"

"No."

"Oh, really now?" I pushed him away and sat up. "What else do you have to say?"

"_Never knew I could feel like this,"_ Christian held my hands, pressing them to his lips.

"_Like I've never seen the sky before." _I closed my eyes when he kissed me softly.

"_Want to vanish inside your kiss."_

_"Everyday I love you more and more,"_ I set his hand over my heart. "_Listen to my heart. Can you hear it sings?"_

"_Telling me to give you everything!"_

_"Seasons may change."_

_"Winter to spring."_

_"But I'll love you..."_

_"…Until the end of time."_ Christian went down upon his knees in confession. "_Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day!"_

Pulling him to his feet, I dragged him on top of me before turning over so that he was on the bottom. Grinning triumphantly, I kissed him deeply before letting my share be said.

"_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace."_

_"Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste."_

_"It all revolves around you," _I rested a hand against his cheek and smiled in contentment.

"_And there's no mountain too high."_

_"No river too wide."_

_"Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side."_

_"Storm clouds may gather."_

_"And stars may collide." _Christian mirrored my gesture and set his own hand against my cheek. "_But I'll love you…"_

_"…Until the end of time," _I removed my hand to set it atop his. "_Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day."_

Locking lips, we stood up and allowed our fingers to entwine. Christian turned me around so my back was against his chest and, with our hands still together, we continued our song together in unison.

"_Oh, come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you_

_I will love you." _

My eyes closed when Christian moved our hands to my stomach, and I felt my heart flutter at his light touch.

"_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place."_

In my mind, I could hear our hearts beating the melody of the song that rested within us both. So natural they came and left us, so that our voices were almost raw with passion when we began again together.

"_Come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you_

_Until my dying day."_

Resting at Christian's table, a glass of water in front of us both, my finger skimmed the surface. Parched, the water could not satisfy the thirst I was experiencing.

"_We were strangers_

_Starting out on a journey_

_Never dreaming what we'd have to go through_

_Now here we are_

_I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you." _(1)

Christian looked up when he finished his glass and grinned.

"_No one told me I was going to find you_

_Unexpected what you did to my heart_

_When I lost hope you were there to remind me_

_This is the start."(1)_

I laughed when Christian stood up to pour another glass of water only to look up at me, smile, and miss the glass completely.

I could spend my whole life like this…

"_And life is a road and I wanna keep going,_

_Love is a river_

_I wanna keep flowing_

_Life is a road_

_Now and forever_

_Wonderful journey." _(1)

Was it a journey I was now embarking on? Had the journey already began, sitting here at Christian's table, laughing over his sheepish behavior, awaiting this evening when we would finally be together?

"_I'll be there when the world stops turning,_

_I'll be there when the storm is through,_

_In the end I wanna be standing_

_At the beginning with you." _(1)

Sitting up after pouring himself another glass of water, Christian got up and retrieved some pastries from a cupboard. When he tripped over his coat after turning to look at me with a grin, I got up and helped him up.

It was quite funny and ridiculous how we made each other.

Especially when I tripped as well as soon as I helped him up with a hard yank.

Christian, laughing to the point of echoing throughout the streets, stopped only to let his own joy be heard through song.

"_We were strangers on a crazy adventure_

_Never dreaming how all our dreams will come true_

_Now here we stand unafraid of the future_

_At the beginning with you." _(1)

"Not afraid at all," I agreed when I sat and began to devour a pastry.

"_And life is a road and I wanna keep going_

_Love is a river _

_I wanna keep flowing_

_Love is a road _

_Now and forever_

_Wonderful journey. _

_I'll be there when the world stops turning,_

_I'll be there when the storm is through_

_In the end I wanna be standing_

_At the beginning with you." _(1)

"_Knew there was somebody somewhere like me alone in the dark," _(1) I fed him a pastry and giggled when he nipped at my fingers.

"_Now I know my dream will live on. I've been waiting so long." _(1) Christian followed my example as I followed his.

We did not need to tell each other what we would both sing next.

How wonderful it was to feel the same.

"_Nothing's gonna tear us apart." _(1)

"Nothing," Christian confirmed.

"Nothing," I agreed with a nod.

"_And life is a road and I wanna keep going_

_Love is a river_

_And I wanna keep flowing_

_Life is a road_

_Now and forever_

_Wonderful journey._

_I'll be there when the world stops turning_

_I'll be there when the storm is through_

_In the end I wanna be standing_

_At the beginning with you." _(1)

"You're beautiful," Christian told me. "Purely amazing."

"You're wonderful."

"_And life is a road and I wanna keep going_

_Love is a river_

_And I wanna keep flowing_

_Life is a road_

_Now and forever_

_Starting out on a journey!_

_Life is a road and I wanna keep going_

_Love is a river _

_And I want to keep flowing_

_In the end I wanna to be standing_

_At the beginning…_

_…With you." _(1)

* * *

"The night of the performance," I stared into my vanity again, making sure my face was flawless for the evening. "It'll all be over tonight. You just have to last through today. Then it'll be done with."

Giselle had agreed to do it. She had agreed to do the job that I would never be able to do myself. She was stronger than I am.

I was able to throw aside my pride and admit that much.

If only life were so simple and this didn't have to occur. If only jealousy and hatred were not so strong in people's lives.

I would be the one to believe love would conquer all.

Tonight, I would not be so sure.

"Why am I doing this?" I questioned to my reflection. "Because I love Gregory."

Because I fear for him.

Because I want the best for him.

Because Isabel will destroy him.

Because Edmund wishes this to occur.

But what did _I_ want?

"I want…" I closed my eyes.

There was only one thing I wanted. One thing I asked for with my life.

"I want Gregory to be happy."

Standing up, I looked down at the necklace that shimmered against my skin. He expected me to brighten up his day for him, which I would do after what happened tonight.

Except, this time, I will be comforting him for something that I did.

"Gregory loves Isabel," tears cascaded down my cheeks. "He… he… he's going to be beyond my help after this."

What was worse… leaving him to discover his love didn't love him like he wishes or killing off his love before he realized the truth?

"I've seen Gregory hurt more than once over a girl," I realized. "But he's never experienced the loss of someone he loves."

My breath became ragged when I realized what I had done. I had agreed to send Gregory down a road of despair that I knew not how he would handle. I was willingly setting him up for a kind of pain that only he would be able to demolish on his own.

He would lose someone that he loved… denied the love that he thought existed.

…just as Christian.

Satine might have loved Christian in a way Isabel couldn't, but Gregory would never know. He would live a lie, deny himself of something that he would probably be denied of anyway if Isabel lived through the evening.

I couldn't do that to him.

I could not condemn him to a life of hurt and dreams of what might have been.

"Cecille," Edmund rested his chin upon my shoulder, and I shuddered at his touch. "What has you with such fear in your eyes? You have never looked like this at the sight of me before. At least not to this degree."

"Do you realize what you are doing to Gregory… to your cousin?" I did not care to hide my tears as I stared at my reflection and the site of Edmund over my shoulder, chuckling at himself and all he has done. "You are going to ruin him."

"Not in the way that whore will ruin him," Edmund snarled, replacing his chin witha hand that dug into my flesh. "Surely you can see that much, Cecille. She will ruin his place in society."

Gregory never cared what society thought upon him. He thrived upon being unique and not following the set of standards society had established.

Why did I not realize this before?

"I understand now…"

"No, I believe you don't."

The blow was predictable. I lay sprawled out on the floor, his handprint red upon my face. When he pulled me up and slammed me against the wall. When he knocked over my vanity mirror, throwing the contents of my vanity upon the floor as he destroyed all else in my room, I never took my eyes off of my reflection that stared at me through the broken shards of glass spread out throughout my floor.

Hatred never looked so clear.

"You're a monster," I stood up when he headed to the door. "Bastard."

My senses dulled with hatred so that I did not flinch when Edmund through a knife past me that landed less than an inch from my head. Looking to the side, where the knife pierced the wall, hanging, I was completely pokerfaced.

"Next time, I will not miss, Cecille." Edmund closed the door behind him. "Even from your room, I am sure you will enjoy the performance. Just not as much as I."

Pounding against the door, I screamed, but to no avail. The doors were soundproof, as solid as wood doors got. I pounded out my hatred until my hands were raw.

Even then I didn't stop.

It was amazing how pure hatred could power you to do such things.

Perhaps I could understand Edmund on that much.

* * *

1. Anastasia "At The Beginning" 


	37. Pushing Me

**AN: **Words cannot express how truly sorry I am for not updating sooner. My internet has been down since the last time I updated, and I have only now been able to get on, if only for a brief period of time, to post something new up. I cannot guarantee the next time I will be able to update, but I truly hope it will be soon. I hate to leave you all hanging and my deepest apologies for leaving you all in the dark for so long. I hope you will all enjoy this chapter, and the next one I am posting as well because I do not know the next time I will have an opportunity to post it up. I will try to post a new chapter up sometime this week, but I am not exactly sure the next time I will have the chance. Once again, my deepest apologies.

* * *

**Chapter 37. Pushing Me**

_"Every time I look at you the world just melts away_

_All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections_

_You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am_

_And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land." _(1)

An afternoon nap in Christian's arms was just what we needed to calm us from our morning of laughter and childish affections. Playing with his hair, I allowed him to perform the same acts upon me as I closed my eyes for his turn to come.

"_Well I made up my mind_

_Not gonna let you get away_

_To think that I'm the lucky guy_

_I've almost got it made." _(2)

"Is that what you call it?" I teased, opening my eyes and smiling. "_Almost_?"

"After tonight," Christian kissed my forehead tenderly. "That almost will be complete."

"_You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together_

_You're the one true thing I know I can believe in_

_Your all the things that I desire you save me you complete me_

_You're the one true thing I know I can believe." _(1)

"_Cause it's been so long_

_Since I've felt so strong_

_About anyone at all_

_I get so excited_

_I ain't gonna fight it_

_I think I might be fallin' in love." _(2)

"_I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe_

_No matter what I say or do 'cause you're too good to fight about it_

_Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go_

_You won't stoop down to battle but you never turn to go." _(1)

In a few hours I would return to the Moulin Rouge to prepare for the production. Christian would escort me there, our scripts in our hands to show we were rehearsing for the play soon to come. That we were rehearsing what was to come after the production when I would be completely free to be with him until the day I die.

"_So come on- let's get it right_

_Cause you're the only one_

_So come on- we ain't got all night_

_Cause you're the only one." _(2)

"_You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together_

_You're the one true thing I know I can believe in_

_Your all the things that I desire you save me you complete me_

_You're the one true thing I known I can believe." _(1)

Getting to our feet, I looked over my shoulder playfully to catch Christian gazing at me lovingly as I stood before him in my corset. His shirt, half-buttoned, was wrinkled from our childish playing and wrestling as he dropped his blankets on his bed in one large heap of fabric.

"_Last night I thought you mighta stayed_

_If I'd a' had the guts_

_I woulda pushed my luck_

_But then you mighta turned away_

_How do I explain_

_I know it sounds insane_

_But then I've been through this before_

_In just a matter of time_

_You could change your mind_

_You could turn and walk right through that door." _(2)

"Not in a corset," I giggled at the absurdity. "I will not turn away from you now, Christian."

"Can't blame a fellow for worrying about it…"

"_There are times I can't decide when I can't tell up from down_

_You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown_

_But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm okay_

_Sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day." _(1)

I approached him and wrapped his arms around me as I rested my head against his chest, wanting to be no other place in the world.

"_So come on- let's get it straight_

_Cause you're the only one_

_So come on- I just can't wait_

_Cause you're the only one."_ (2)

"_You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together_

_You're the one true thing I know I can believe in_

_Your all the things that I desire you save me you complete me_

_You're the one true thing I know I can believe."_ (1)

"_Never knew I could feel like this,"_ Christian inhaled deeply as his grip on me tightened, showing he wanted this just as much as I did.

"Isabel?"

Only one voice could tear me apart from Christian at that moment.

Funny that that one person decided to visit us right then and there.

The moment of redemption had arrived.

* * *

My back against my room door, my knees against my chest where my bloody hands, now raw, rested, I had ran out of tears. There were no more tears for me to shed. All these years had built up to this moment, where I would be unable to save Gregory and everything that is dear to me. The one point in time that I need to cry the most and I have no more tears to shed.

In a few hours everyone would be arriving. Isabel would probably enter hand in hand with her lover, Christian, all grins and laughs, completely unaware of what was going to come. The one gift I give her, not of love, but of jealousy.

The candles in my room were fading now. The light of my life was almost out and I was inept to do anything to stop it. Left with the darkness as company, the only guarantee of the evening was that, as soon as this was over, Edmund would come for me.

"What is coming to me tonight?" I asked myself, looking down at my hands that were soaking my gown a deep crimson. "What awaits me after this night? Will Edmund be done with me? Will he finally decide to end his plots of murders with my own? Death seems so much more bright than the reality that surrounds me right now…"

I hit my head against the door once, recollecting everything that has passed between Gregory and me throughout our lives together. From the moment I first came to meet him, a shy girl not used to being noticed outside of the humdrum of my parents' chatter with other adults, to this morning when he gave me a token of everything I have done for him, the little I did to ensure his safety and well-being in my life.

Lifting up my hands, they rested on the necklace he had given me. As much as it hurt for my raw, bleeding flesh to come in contact with anything, I held on tightly, wanting to never let go of the one connection I shared with Gregory. The one tangible thing that I had that reminded me that I was somehow a part of his life and meant something to him.

Bringing myself to my feet and never releasing my hands from the necklace, I looked ahead at my vanity and the candles that were flickering its last few minutes before all light was eradicated around me.

"_If I were a painter_

_I would paint my reverie_

_If that's the only way for you to be with me." _(3)

Laughter accompanied me in my mind, as did hours upon hours of evenings and afternoons and mornings spent in company of Gregory. Days that might have been long forgotten in his mind but had rested in the core of my heart.

"_We'd be there together _

_Just like we used to be_

_Underneath the swirling skies for all to see." _(3)

How many times in my life had I dreamt of the day when Gregory would look at me and say that everything before was only days spent confirming the love that rested deep inside of him?

That this was it… this was real… and meant to last forever…

"_And I'm dreaming of a place_

_Where I could see your face_

_And I think my brush would take me there_

_But only…" _(3)

All that you thought you had loved before. The musician. The maid. That countless other women that intrigued you during your childhood and early manhood. Isabel. All of it was only to prepare you for a love that was better and stronger than all of those feelings that you experienced combined.

The love that I felt for you…

Would you ever even get to get the one present I had been meaning to give you all of my life?

Would it even mean anything to you after all of these other women?

"_If I were a painter_

_And could paint a memory_

_I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you_

_I'd climb inside the skies to be with you._" (3)

Stuck in the darkness now, I would have allowed it to consume me, if not for the one bit of illumination that lit up the shadows that surrounded me.

In my hands, a gem shined in the darkness, playing with some unknown light that flickered in the reflection of my vanity.

Even in the darkness of my life, a light shined faintly.

And it was the only light I needed to remind me that all was not yet lost.

* * *

"Isabel?" Gregory stepped further into Christian's house, a blank look on his face. "Still… rehearsing?"

"Gregory," I withdrew from Christian and sat down on a chair at the table where I had, a few hours ago, been laughing away with Christian in anticipation for the moment when Gregory would find out the truth.

This moment.

"What's happening here?" Gregory held out his hands, looking for me for an explanation, although the hurt on his face showed me he did not need my explanation to figure out the truth before his eyes.

"I can explain…"

"I'm asking Isabel!" Gregory cried out in interruption of Christian's small attempt to assist me. "Isabel… you… what are you doing?"

I buried my face in my hands as my fingers dug deep into my hair.

"You haven't been rehearsing, have you?"

"Gregory!" I rushed out of Christian's house in pursuit of the rapidly retreating figure until I had grabbed hold of his wrist. "Please…"

"What Isabel?" Gregory pulled his hand free. "What do you have to say to me now that your… _lover_… isn't present? That you have been having an affair behind my back? That you lied to me? That you… that you don't love me?"

His voice became feeble and meek.

"Oh Gregory," I reached out for him when I saw that I was not the only one crying, but he turned at my touch. "It wasn't meant to happen like this."

"How was it supposed to happen, Isabel? It doesn't matter when or how or where. You were going to do it one way or another."

"I didn't want to hurt you…" I tried to elucidate. "You… you do mean something to me. I didn't want to let you go. You… you mean something…"

"I didn't mean enough though," Gregory shook his head. "No. Whatever it was that I meant to you, Isabel, it wasn't enough to prevent you from lying and sleeping with Christian and pretending to love me when your affections are not yours to give anymore. You let me go the minute you went into the arms of Christian. The second that you found contentment with another man."

"Gregory!" I called, following him still. "Let me explain."

"Nothing else needs to be explained, Isabel." Gregory replied calmly, despite the tears that still made its presence known. "I do not need to know of why you did not see the necessity in telling me how you felt. I do not need to know what kept you feeding me lies and making me believe that you had every intention to marry me and remain devoted to me. I do not need to know anything about your affairs. All I need to know has already been said."

Left standing dumbfounded, my hands at my waist, I watched Gregory disappear into the crowd.

So lost was I in my own tears and guilt for what I had bestowed upon someone else that I did not notice Christian rest his hands on my shoulders comfortingly until he caught me when my knees buckled and collapsed beneath me, unable to sustain the culpability that weighed my body down.

Christian, seizing a firm grip on my arms, kept me on my feet, holding me together.

But it wasn't enough to stop the pain and tears when the uncontrollable remorse came.

* * *

1. Sarah Mclachlan "Push"

2. Bryan Adams "The Only One"

3. Norah Jones "Painter Song"


	38. Answer

**Chapter 38. Answer**

"_And finally the silence_

_Looking out, looking back across the sky_

_Trying to find a meaning_

_Knowing that I just left it all behind_

_Still I smell a lingering softness_

_Where did she go, how did she go, I wanna know_

_I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me_

_Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside of me_

_Come on, you know that we belong _

_Come on, come on" _(1)

Entering the Moulin Rouge, Gregory walked about aimlessly, passing by cast members who waved and bid him welcomes that he did not notice. Sensing his distraction, they eventually let him passed without a word his way, not sure what to make of the young Duke who seemed so lost in whatever inspired him to fill the Moulin Rouge with his song.

_"Thinking back before her_

_I never knew the meaning of alone_

_Still the flag is feeling foreign_

_I live the day to escape into a phone_

_Speaking of a world not real then_

_Where did she go, how did she go, I wanna know_

_I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me_

_Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside of me_

_Come on, you know that we belong_

_Come on, come on." _(1)

"Gregory! Duke!" Giselle raced to greet him only to be brushed aside.

He headed towards a staircase and left Giselle at the bottom, staring at him ascend in silence, fighting the ambivalence to pursue him further or just give up and leave the Duke to whatever brooding he was going through.

_"She's coming, she's coming here to me, I'm needing_

_Desiring to kiss her now, I'm living for her_

_Breathing for her, singing for her fairytale_

_Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside of me_

_Come on, you know that we belong_

_Come on, come on_

_Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside of me_

_Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on." _(1)

Gregory breathed slowly when he found himself in the doorway of Isabel's room. The room remained in the same clutter Isabel had abandoned it to this morning when she had dashed away from Gregory, claiming about some rehearsal.

Sitting upon her bed, the sheets ruffled and wrinkled, he could only think of how many times Isabel had brought her lover to her room. Had it been once? Twice? Thrice? A dozen? None?

"It will drive me to insanity," Gregory ran his hands through his hair as he lowered his head in defeat. "Why can I never find love?"

* * *

My eyes soon adjusted to the darkness of my room as I found my way around. Finding my bed, I tore off part of my sheets to wrap around my hands.

Behind the padding of my sheets, I gripped the chest by my bed and rammed it into my door. Performing the ritual repeatedly, I allowed a new song to pass and be known.

"_I will be the answer at the end of the line_

_I will be there for you while you take the time_

_In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground_

_I will hold the balance if you can't look down_

_If it takes my whole life I won't break I won't bend_

_It'll all be worth it worth it in the end_

_'Cause I can only tell you what I know_

_That I need you in my life_

_When the stars have all gone out_

_You'll still be burning so bright." _(2)

I could feel the blood soaking up the sheets in my hands but it did not deter my routine. Hitting the door with all my force, I could feel it shaking. As strong as it may be, in the next few hours it would eventually give way.

I only needed to keep my spirit going for so long…

"_Cast me gently into morning_

_For the night has been unkind_

_Take me to a place so holy_

_That I can wash this from my mind_

_The memory of choosing not to fight_

_If it takes a whole life I won't break I won't bend_

_It'll all be worth it worth it in the end_

_'Cause I can only tell you what I know_

_That I need you in my life_

_And when the stars have all burned out_

_You'll still be burning so bright_

_Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind." _(2)

…as long as what was between Gregory and myself remained there… as long as I never let that one light out of my life… I would succeed.

Who would have ever thought that my love for Gregory, as much as it diminished my being, would end up saving me?

"So glad you are here early, Isabel!" Ziddler rested his hand upon my back, leading me up to my room. "I will send for someone to help you get ready right away, my dear."

"I do not need your assistance," I reassured him. "I can prepare myself, I am sure."

"Without a doubt," he agreed with a nod. "But, for this night, allow _me_ to help _you_."

"I will never need your help, Ziddler." I told him. "And after this night, I never intend to."

"I believe you, my child." Ziddler said. "Believe me, I agree."

"Gregory?" my breath caught at the sight of him, his head down, his hands in his hair, sitting on my bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" he looked up at Ziddler and myself and stood up. "I was just leaving."

"What a mess you are!" Ziddler exclaimed. "Come, and I shall take you to your brother."

Sitting at the spot where Gregory had sat, I could still smell him in the room, overpowering the smell of Christian that had filled my room for weeks on end.

"Please forgive me," I whispered. "Please don't let this ruin you."

* * *

"_What_ did she do?" Edmund sneered when his cousin entered Ziddler's office tear-stained like some love-pained boy. "Do you mean to tell me she has… broken your heart?"

"I know," Gregory lowered his head at his cousin that sat in the desk in front of him, Ziddler standing behind him. "Hard to have seen coming."

Only the hatred within Edmund allowed him to remain poised and not laugh at how obvious Isabel had made her love affair to be.

"What do you plan to do now?" Edmund questioned. "I suppose you cannot attend the performance now, can you?"

"I would like to see her one last time," Gregory decided. "To see the production that she has spent all of her time perfecting a love between her and Christian that never required any acting to evoke."

"And the girl?" Edmund pushed. "Tell me that you do not feel any anger towards her."

"How can I help it?" Gregory confessed. "She has made me miserable. As much as I wish I didn't feel like this, I think she deserves no better than what I have at this moment."

"Which is?"

"Death seems far more promising…"

"Is that truly what you want?"

"It is only my anger speaking."

"But would you feel any sorrow at her death?"

Gregory closed his eyes to think. Try as he might, nothing could surpass the pain that had begun to deteriorate his spirit. He was void of all compassion towards Isabel now.

"Right now… no."

"What would you have to say if I could make this take wing?" Edmund raised his eyebrows. "That, during this performance, right when the truth of Isabel's affair in the story is made known to all, she gets what she rightfully deserves?"

"On stage?"

"Isabel is going to die tonight?"

"Die?" Edmund laughed nefariously. "I would consider it a saving from the scandal that will arise once the production ends and everyone realizes that this is all the truth and Isabel really is the whore that she is made out to be in the production. It is only the rightful justice she deserves after such adultery."

"Adultery?"

"Is that not what she did to you, Gregory?" Edmund could see his shoulders lowering at the truth that brought him down. "Tell me that is not what she did, Gregory. Tell me that all of this is not worthy enough to face the penalty of such an act. Tell me that Isabel is innocent and I will call it off."

To all of Edmund's talk of the night, Gregory could only shake his head and hold his tongue.

Isabel was guilty of it… there was no denying it.

Silence was the only reply Gregory could give his cousin.

And it was the answer that Edmund had needed.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, I know it is a cliffhanger, and I apologize ahead of time for leaving you guys hanging. I honestly do not know what I'll be able to update again, but I will try to put it up by the end of this week. I hate leaving you guys hanging because you all are completely awesome and make my day with your reviews. Many many apologies for my sudden delay in updating this summer. And many many thanks for your guys' devotion to reading this story and reviewing. I love you all more than a jewelry box loves its jewelry.

* * *

1. Ben Jelen "Come On"

2. Sarah McLachlan "Answer"


	39. No Quarrel With You

**Chapter 39. No Quarrel With You**

"You are gorgeous," Christian remarked, entering the Moulin Rouge in an overcoat to protect the costume he wore beneath from the pouring rain. "Completely wonderful."

"No one will be here for another few hours," I motioned for him to join me where I lay on the ground, listening to the rain that poured beyond the front doors. "We have at least an hour to rest until people start getting together and asking where the two leads are."

"An hour, eh?" Christian grinned, laying down and facing me. "Hey."

"Hey," I smiled back, reaching for his hand.

"_Lying here with you_

_Listening to the rain_

_Smiling just to see the smile upon your face_

_These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive_

_These are the moments I'll remember all my life_

_I found all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more." _(1)

_"_I love you," I whispered, closing my eyes as Christian continued with his serenade.

"_Looking into your eyes_

_Seeing all I need_

_Everything you are is everything to me_

_These are the moments_

_I know heaven must exist_

_These are the moments I know all I need is this_

_I have all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more." _(1)

The falling rain served as the perfect accompaniment to Christian's singing that grew in force as he entered the chorus. Tightening my grip on his hand, I forgot everything else except Christian's voice, filling me up with the most bliss and ecstasy that I had felt in my life.

Was it real? In a few hours, would we truly be onstage, singing our hearts out to one another only to leave and be each other's forever?

But his voice… it made me forget. It mattered not that Gregory had found out. It mattered not that I was throwing away everything to be with a penniless writer. It didn't even matter that we would probably have to move away to escape the scandal our pairing would likely erupt. As far as I was concerned, we were already together, lying hear as I listened to Christian sing to me, and that was all that mattered.

"_I could not ask for more than this time together_

_I could not ask for more than this time with you_

_Every prayer has been answered_

_Every dream I have's come true_

_And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be_

_Here with you here with me." _(1)

Opening my eyes, I giggled when he moved forward to kiss the tip of my nose before wrapping his arms around me as we lay, my back against his stomach. His head rested on my shoulder, and I could feel him grinning, which made my smile that much broader.

"_There are the moments I thank god that I'm alive_

_These are the moments I'll remember all my life_

_I've got all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more._

_I could not ask for more than this time together_

_I could not ask for more than this time with you_

_Every prayer has been answered_

_Every dream I have's come true_

_And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be_

_Here with you here with me_

_I could not ask for more than the love you give me_

_Cause it's all I've waited for_

_And I could not ask for more_

_Woah…_

_And I could not ask for more_." (1)

Finishing his song, I turned myself around so that we were face to face. Cupping his face in my hands, I kissed him.

"I could not have put it any better."

* * *

"Isabel!" Toulouse entered the back of the theatre, clapping when he saw what the backstage hands had done for my costume. "You… you look magnificent! Splendid!"

"Thanks," I grinned, turning around to show Toulouse the white wedding gown I was wearing for the first act. "It's supposed to be my wedding gown. My character becomes married in the first scene and she wears the white gown throughout the first act as a symbol that she is still connected to her marriage. Towards the end of the act, she begins her affair with Christopher. That is when my costume is changed during the set up for the next act when I'll be wearing a scarlet silk dress that will attempt to make my figure, or lack of one, become accentuated and look somewhat voluptuous. I bid them good luck with that one."

"I am sure you will look gorgeous," Toulouse laughed, looking around at the commotion that surrounded us as everyone got in costume and ran about, rehearsing lines and preparing for the production that would start in an hour. "Where is Christian?"

"I think he is off preparing for the production," I answered, wondering the same thing. "It's typical to not see many people you normally associate with with all of this pandemonium around us. It is near impossible to find anyone."

"I believe it," Toulouse agreed. "And Cecille?"

"Cecille?"

"Yes," Toulouse nodded. "Have you seen her?"

"Actually, I haven't." I hadn't thought of Cecille all day, and now the thought overtook me. "I wonder where she is. I would think she'd visit me sometime before the production. Do you think you could try to find her for me, Toulouse?"

"Of course," Toulouse aid before walking off in pursuit of Cecille.

* * *

Standing in the shadows once again, Giselle watched as Christian conversed with some of the crew. In his peasant shirt, revealing some of his chest, she felt her breath catch as he laughed pleasantly. Music to her ears. Even his laughter carried a lyrical melody all its own.

Emerging from the darkness, Giselle approached him, hoping her eyes did not reveal what was on her mind.

"Hello Christian."

"Giselle?" Christian turned and rubbed the back of his neck, offering her a smile. "Ready for tonight?"

"Of course," she smiled back, feeling herself go red in the face as his eyes bore into her own. "A professional never worries. They are constantly ready for whatever is to come."

"I suppose…"

"I just wanted to wish you luck."

"Oh, alright." Christian set a hand on her shoulder and nodded his head, a smile still on his face. "Good luck to you too."

Walking away hoping her smile did not reveal too much happiness, Giselle thought of Christian and tonight.

Tonight…

She would have to do Cecille's deed. As much as she pained to pull something like that off for the likes of a woman like Cecille, she thought Isabel had it coming. She was engaged to someone that every woman in Paris would kill to marry, and yet she was off having an affair with a man who could provide her with nothing… the man that she would do anything to have. The man she had dreamt of having ever since the first time someone had told her the love tale of the Moulin Rouge.

Stopping for a moment, Cecille looked at Isabel. She stood alone as a rather short man retreated. A look of panic was etched on her face, and she contemplated taking the best of it and seeing just how upset Isabel truly was. As she walked towards her, Giselle noticed Isabel look down at herself and blush, pulling down her sleeves a bit more to cover her exposed flesh. Seeing this act of insecurity, Giselle hesitated.

_Does she not realize how gorgeous she looks tonight? _Giselle thought. _Here she is, dressed in a gown that made her appear worthy of any man within Paris, a true Prima Donna goddess, and she was trying to cover it up. If I were dressed so, looking as stunning and breathtaking, I would not hesitate to show it off and try to expose, perhaps, even more flesh to draw all eyes to me. Tonight would be my night and I would outshine everyone else._

"Isabel…"

She looked up at Giselle and the worry that was so apparent seemed to fade as a wall of stone came up.

"Hello Giselle."

"Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Do you think it will all go well?"

"I… I hope so." she looked down as if contemplating the question. "I want it to. For Cecille. For Christian. For Gregory. Even for Ziddler, as much as I wish it wasn't true. I feel compelled to do the best I can, and that's a frightening thing because no one ever depends on me for anything. I've never been in the spotlight before."

Her candid reply caught Giselle off-guard, who was expecting a retort or insult. Some form of bitterness towards her. But it was completely innocent. No harm intended.

"No need to worry. Looking like that, it looks like you've always been in the spotlight."

"More deception," Isabel sighed, wringing her wrists. "I don't like being so nervous. I honestly have no idea how tonight will turn out, and I wish for it to turn out well. Truly I do." she turned and noticed how completely terrified she appeared and smiled. "I'm sorry. This is very out of character, I know, but it's just… I haven't seen Cecille. I think something is wrong."

"I wouldn't worry about it."

_Especially because Cecille won't worry if something goes wrong for you tonight._

"She's my best friend," Isabel said matter-of-factly.

"Why are you being like this, Isabel?" Giselle seized the opportunity, completely bemused in the whole conversation. "Why are you treating me like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like I treat you like dirt everyday," Giselle replied. "Where are the insults? The accusations? Something that shows me that you don't like me."

"Cecille doesn't like you. Not me." Isabel answered. "I have no quarrel with you. Even if you do treat me harshly sometimes, I try to take it in intrepidly. There's only those selected few, like Ziddler, that I show no mercy to. I do not wish to fight with you, Giselle. I don't believe that's something either one of us needs in our life."

Speechless, Giselle just stared at Isabel in wonder.

Despite the complete shock that had overtook her, Giselle did know one thing, and it was that what Cecille asked of her to perform tonight was certainly not going to occur. No harm would come to Isabel tonight.

_But… _Giselle wondered. _I have the chance to be a star. I told Cecille I would do it. I don't back out on my word._

Stuck in this ambivalence, Isabel soon left to prepare for the production that was about to begin in a few minutes.

* * *

1. Edwin McCain "I Could Not Ask For More" 


	40. Inspiration Lost

**Chapter 40. Inspiration Lost**

Act one went by perfectly. As did all that had occurred of act two. The last scene began asChristian and Isabel embraced as love-struck lovers, completely lost in the bliss that would come at the end of their songs. Giselle, standing in the corner of the stage, consumed by darkness, began to approach.

Just as they were finishing their last line, she pointed the gun between Isabel's eyes, ready for what was to come.

From where they sat, the two cousins watched the scene. Edmund grinned evilly, pleased with what would soon come. Gregory, however, stood up just as Giselle approached Christian and Isabel, and walked out of the theatre.

* * *

"I _will _get out!" Cecille shouted, banging the door over and over again.

The past few hours had her legs buckling. Although her pace was considerably slower, she continued her ritual to no luck. The only mark of her arduous labor was a small dent in the thick door, not even a quarter of the way through the door.

Hitting the door, she felt her legs give way as she fell forward just as the door was opening.

Toulouse stared in bewilderment at the blood-soaked Cecille. On the ground lay a chest, its rims red with blood. The darkness of the room seemed to over accentuate the blood that was illuminated from the hall lighting. Looking down at Cecille, who looked up and did not seem more relieved to see him, Toulouse bent down to help her up.

"What has happened?" Toulouse asked until Cecille grabbed his hand, not hesitating from the blood, and pulled him down the hall towards a dark corner.

"I will explain quickly because we need to do something. Isabel is in danger. Giselle is going to kill her. She'll be shot in the last scene. Giselle has a loaded gun. The scene everyone sees of Isabel dying will be real. It is Edmund's plot to get rid of Isabel to prevent her from ruining Gregory. Even if Giselle doesn't pull through, Edmund will do something, and no matter what he does, he has one intention. He plans to have Isabel killed before the night is through."

* * *

A loud shot echoed throughout the production as Isabel fell to the ground. The people backstage had certainly done their part in making the murder seem as real as possible.

Giselle kept the gun pointed even after Isabel fell. Falling down and crying, she bent down to Isabel and began talking.

"I am sorry," Giselle said, turning towards the audience to allow her voice to project. "So overtaken with jealousy was I that I planned to take your life this very night as you professed your love in each other's arms. Looking now at you and the love you have, I now know that I cannot do this."

Helping Isabel up, she looked out at the audience and caught her breath. Improvising was not her forte, and she was lost in the moment as to what to say or do to continue with the play.

"Thank you," Christian took over and wrapped his arms around Isabel protectively. "She means the world to me. I love Isabel, and would do anything for her, if only she could be mine."

Giselle took a step back when she heard that. The audience did not seem to catch Christian's words except for Ziddler and Edmund, who only looked at the scene wondering what would come. As the truth settled in for her, Giselle dropped the gun and bowed her head.

"I apologize very much," she said, feeling the tears come to her eyes. "I did not realize the extent to which your love was. But now I see it. Please forgive me. I wish you no harm."

Walking off the stage in tears, Giselle looked up only to tell the stagehands that they could dim the lights for the next scene.

"We begin the third act," she told one stagehand as she ran off to go into her room and cry herself to sleep, completely through with all forms of acting for her muse was lost.


	41. If I Could Turn Back Time

**AN: **I am so sorry for not updating sooner. My internet has been going on and off for the past month and is still getting fixed. I stole the opportunity to post these three chapters because I honestly have no idea when I'll be able to write again. I am so sorry to everyone. I hate leaving you guys hanging like this.

* * *

**Chapter 41. If I Could Turn Back Time**

Intermission began. Ten minutes to plan what they would do. Christian and Isabel stared at one another as they thought of what they could possibly do to end the play.

"I don't know," Isabel said, completely frightened. "I have never been in this position before. You are he writer, Christian. Perhaps you can come up with something."

"How about the two lovers run off together into the night?"

"We cannot abandon the play now, Christian." Isabel walked back and forth before stopping. "Tell the stagehands to keep the scene as it is. We will have someone announce that this is the following evening and I am waiting outside for Christopher to come as he usually does. When the two lovers eventually meet after I wait for awhile, my husband walks out of the house to find us together. Caught in the act, they are faced to tell the truth and explain they are in love."

"And from there?"

"I don't know," Isabel said softly. "I will allow the actor to take it from there. But that's enough to begin the scene, I think. This will definitely be the last scene. I will see you onstage."

"What?" Christian called as Isabel walked away. "Where are you going, Isabel? Why aren't we telling the stagehands together?"

"I would come, truly I would." Isabel answered. "But I need to change costume."

* * *

Gregory entered backstage, with only one thought on his mind. Watching Isabel and Christian together, he knew he had to do something tonight. Let his presence be known in their love affair more.

The new scene left everyone in anticipation, but he knew already from the talking stagehands what was to come. Looking at familiar faces he had watched rehearsed, he grinned when he saw who he was looking for.

Onstage, Isabel looked all that more gorgeous, clad back in the white wedding gown. Sitting on one of the fake walls as she pretended to wait for Christian's arrival, her dark make-up from act two brought on the contrast of the woman from the first act and the woman from the second.

On the left corner of the stage, Christian waited for Isabel's cue. She would look over at him and then bow her head. He stirred when Isabel stood up and began walking among the stage, the dim lights casting off small beams of illumination when catching the glitter of her gown.

"_Who can say where the road goes,_

_Where the day flows, only time?_

_Who can say if your love grows,_

_As your heart chose, only time?" _(1)

The audience stood on edge at the sound of Isabel's voice taking an almost enchanting note to it. So captivated were they in her performance that now cast off an ethereal appearance, none noticed when Edmund stood from where he sat to walk away, anger written in his eyes.

"_Who can say why your heart sighs_

_As your love flies, only time?_

_Who can say why your heart cries_

_When your love lies, only time?" _(1)

Christian looked at Isabel in a new light at her new song. Her words spoke to him in a way that reminded him of his own story… of Satine… the sparkling diamond… and the production that had near ruined him. Up until then, he had not remembered Isabel as a true artist… a writer worthy enough of someday telling a tale that would be recalled throughout the ages alongside the one he had told.

"_Who can say when the roads meet,_

_That the love might be, in your heart?_

_And who can say when the day sleeps,_

_If the night keeps all your heart?_

_Night keeps all your heart…" _(1)

Her words hit him as if he were transported to the great wall on which they stood, staring out at a world so wide and vast that it seemed only practical for them to explore it together. An urge to join her onstage and take her in her arms came now, but he held back to hear her finish her melody.

"_Who can say if your love grows,_

_As you heart chose, only time?_

_And who can say where the road goes_

_Where the day flows, only time?_

_Who knows? Only time_

_Who knows? Only time." _(1)

Looking over at Christian now, Isabel lowered her head only to have it be lifted up by Christian's hand. A smile came to her face that seemed almost melancholy in nature as she held his hand and led him to the part of the stage he had just came.

"I have missed you," Isabel said, her scene in motion. "Although only a day has passed, it has seemed like an eternity. I have called you here tonight to ask you of what will become of us. Will we proceed on like this? On some eternal love affair? Although I have deceived my husband thus far, I cannot continue forever. He deserves more than what I have to offer him, for my heart is not mine to give no longer."

"What do you feel we should do, my love?" Christian asked, looking out at the audience, who hung onto all of their words, and he could feel his stomach tossing and turning at how one slip could ruin this production. "Certainly you have something in mind."

"Indeed, I do." Isabel tugged for him to walk to the center of the stage again so that they held both hands together, a few inches apart, looking into one another's eyes for all of the audience to see. "We need to tell him, Christopher. He deserves to know. He is young. There is still time for him to find someone who's heart is not someone else's. I am completely yours and there is nothing left for him. It would be cruel of me to not do him this one virtue."

"Of course," Christian nodded in agreement. "The man does deserve that much."

"_Mon amour?_"

Isabel and Christian turned to gasp at the entering husband and had no problem expressing their complete astonishment when they realized that the actor had been replaced by Gregory.

* * *

"I can explain…"

"No need for explanations," Gregory approached us as Christian and I drew apart, still staring at him as if witnessing the impossible. "I know where your heart lies, _mon amour._"

"I wish I could make you happy," I left Christian and faced him, looking up with tears in my eyes. "The last thing I had meant to do was hurt you. To make you feel like this."

"I never knew I could feel like this," Gregory murmured, putting his hand against my cheek. "If I could turn back time… maybe this wouldn't have happened. I must have done something wrong. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," tears fell down as I saw the hurt that stared back at me.

"_So lately, been wondering_

_Who will be there to take my place_

_When I'm gone you'll need love_

_To light the shadows on your face_

_If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all_

_Then between the sand and stone_

_Could you make it on your own." _(2)

Gregory grabbed my hand and took a step back, making the distance between us to the point that another step would have our hands break apart.

"_If I could, then I would_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low_

_I'll go wherever you will go."_ (2)

Moving in, he twirled me around once and pulled me close so that our bodies touched.

"_And maybe, I'll find out_

_A way to make it back someday_

_To watch you, to guide you_

_Through the darkest of your days_

_If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all_

_Then I hope there's someone out there_

_Who can bring me back to you. _

_If I could, then I would_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low_

_I'll go wherever you will go." _(2)

"Don't go back to me," I shook my head, my tears making my voice ragged. "There is someone out there for you. I just cannot be that someone."

"_Run away with my heart_

_Run away with my hope_

_Run away with my love_." (2)

Those words hit me in the stomach and I dropped to my knees, covering my face in shame. Crying, I did not care about the audience watching. All they saw was my character, crying over her husband's devoted love. The fact that he would still come back to his wife if given the opportunity.

But it wasn't about my character anymore…

The surface of the story was gone and it had become a tale of my own love. My own affair. My own deceit to the man that loved me. That same man telling me that he would let me go yet take me back with as much love as ever.

For once, my tears were not for myself.

They were for Gregory…

…because I would never be able to go back to him as he wished me to.

Gregory grabbed my hands and pulled them to my sides to look at me. Bringing me back to my feet, he smiled down at me tenderly, brushing aside some of my hair.

"Run away with me," he said softly.

"My heart is not mine to give," I managed to say between the tears lodged in my throat. "I cannot give you what you ask of me, Gregory."

The audience let out a sound of astonishment, but Gregory paid no heed to their realization. He, too, realized this was more than a play that we were undertaking at this very moment in time. And he had every intention to finish what we had began.

"_I know now, just quite how_

_My life and love might still go on_

_In your heart, in your mind_

_I'll stay with you for all of time_

_If I could, then I would_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_If I could turn back time_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_If I could turn back time_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_I'll go wherever you will go._" (2)

Finished with his song, I closed my eyes to slow my tears. Gregory leaned forward and kissed each eyelid and then drew apart from me, and when I opened my eyes, a new sadness appeared on his face that was not there before.

"Goodbye Isabel," Gregory said and then his eyes went wide. "Watch out!"

Cecille stood on the side of the first row of the theatre, watching the scene with a hollowness in her heart that made her feel barren and empty. Toulouse sat on the stairs on the side of the theatre, ready to jump on and make his presence known if anything were to happen.

When Gregory finished his song and he and Isabel exchanged last words, Cecille saw Edmund emerge from the darkness backstage. He approached Isabel with murder clear on his face, ready to strangle her with his own hands, if that was what it took. Approaching her, Gregory yelled, and Cecille immediately headed to the nearest exit of the theatre to take action.

* * *

1. Enya "Only Time"

2. The Calling "Wherever You May Go"


	42. Giving Into The Darkness

**Chapter 42. Giving Into The Darkness**

"Look at you," Edmund snarled at Isabel as he approached her. "You stand on this stage, ruining my family in front of an audience, and for what? A man that can only offer you a penury existence within France? It is an outrage… an insult!"

"Edmund," Gregory stepped forward, blocking Isabel from his cousin. "Leave her be. She has done nothing wrong but love a man."

"Who wasn't you! Can you imagine people taking us seriously now, when you could not even get some tramp to marry you!"

Striking his cousin across the face, Gregory fell back, tripping over the edge of the stage and falling upon his back on the floor of the theatre. Gasping, Isabel looked at him with anger in her eyes as she stepped forward. Just as Edmund grasped Isabel's arms, digging his fingers into her arms, Christian pushed Edmund to the floor, punching him in the stomach with all his might.

Looking to his side, Edmund had never been happier in his life. The gun Giselle had carelessly dropped on the stage glimmered at his side and when he grabbed the gun and pointed it at Christian, he grinned in satisfaction as Christian stood up, pulling Isabel behind him as they stepped back from Edmund.

"Now you will listen to me," Edmund laughed. "Never in my life have I been listened to. It was always someone else I had to follow. First my uncle. Now my cousin. For once, I hold the power."

"You call that power," Isabel snarled at him. "That's cowardice."

"I would tell your whore to keep her mouth shut," Edmund advised Christian. "Otherwise she will find herself easily quieted up with the sound of this gun."

The audience, sensing the danger, got up and retreated to the back of the theatre, some running away shrieking to call for help. As Christian and Isabel stood helpless to Edmund as the young duke lay unconscious on the theatre floor, Toulouse had began to sneak upon Edmund. With his back turned, ordering the scared lovers who stared at him like two deer that had been intruded upon, Edmund did not notice Toulouse until he had used all his strength to leap at his legs and knock Edmund flat on his stomach. The gun flew across the floor a few feet out of his grasp and Christian, too lost in dragging Isabel off of the stage, did not notice the gun that they could have easily picked up.

"Run!" Toulouse shouted. "Go, Christian! Let no harm come!"

"Get off of me!"

Though strong-willed, Toulouse was easily overpowered by Edmund, who tossed him back and reached for the gun once more. Pointing the gun at Toulouse, he ordered him to walk off stage, which he slowly followed. When Toulouse was situated standing in theaisle of the middle of the first floor, Edmund turned his head to look at Christian and Isabel, who continued to hurry to the back of the theatre.

"I advise you to come back!" Edmund hollered. "Otherwise your friend here will die before you all tonight."

Stopping, Isabel turned and saw Toulouse standing before the stage, Edmund above him as he pointed the gun down at him. Gasping, she pulled Christian to turn around, who shouted for his friend and hurried to the front of the stage in desperation, completely thoughtless as to everything but helping the man who would so easily sacrifice his life for the love that he believed Christian deserved.

"Let him go!" Isabel demanded as forcefully as she could. "What reason do you have to hurt Toulouse?"

"Get up here," Edmund said. "I believe it is a fair trade."

"You _lie_," Isabel growled with pure hatred.

"You are probably right," Edmund grinned. "The trade of a man who has done nothing wrong for a whore who deserves to not be alive to begin with. I believe I am getting the unfair side of the deal, but I shall find satisfaction in it."

"No!" Christian grabbed Isabel's wrist when she began to walk towards the stairs of the stage. "Isabel… I can't have you do this. I…"

"I must do it for…"

"What choice does either one of you have?" Edmund laughed. "If you don't let your tramp onstage, I'll just simply shoot her right here. If any of you disobey my orders, you will die before this audience. Cowards. All of them. Blame my cousin on the floor there for allowing his people to become like that. The people who are deemed closest to him will not even try to help him at his hour of need. Nor any of you. You might as well die because you are all alone in this. Trash." when no one moved, Edmund moved the gun off of Toulouse and pointed it at Isabel. "Now… move along. I am not a patient person anymore."

Without a word said, Isabel gave Christian one last look before turning to go upstage. When she was standing before him, Edmund pulled her against him and pressed the gun against the side of her head. Closing her eyes, Isabel could only pray that Christian would be able to survive the night and find contentment in his life, even if she were to die before the day is through. Turning her around, Edmund looked her up and down before kissing her.

Tears streamed past Isabel's closed eyes when she could taste the putrid hatred on Edmund's lips now upon her own.

"Whore," Edmund whispered, using his hand to trail up and down her body. "You did not deserve my cousin, and yet you care for him. You show him compassion, and what do I get?"

Isabel bit her lip as Edmund kissed her. Although she tasted blood, anything seemed better than the taste of Edmund.

"Look at me!" Edmund yelled, now shaking her. "Whore, open your eyes to face me!"

When she opened her eyes, Isabel saw that tears were falling down Edmund's face as well. Although the hatred for her was still present, in his eyes she saw the same hurt and sadness that she had seen in Gregory's when he had saw her and Christian together, but to a degree that seemed far worse. Pity almost became a dominant emotion until Edmund touched her face and the repulsion came back again.

"_I _got to watch the woman I love fall for my cousin," Edmund glared down at Gregory in jealousy. "_I _got to watch her do everything she could to find a way into his heart. _I _got to fail time and time again when I tried to let her know that I cared. That I wanted her in my life. My cousin has taken everything from me. But you…" Edmund looked Isabel up and down and held her chin up to stare into her eyes. "…you became the woman that would do the exact same thing to my own cousin as my love did to me. Trash. That is all you are. And yet my cousin loved you as if you were worth all of Paris. And you had the chance. The opportunity to comply and do everything. For why should you _not _love such a wonderful duke as this? He is the man that can offer you the world. He is the man who every woman in Paris falls in love with, and yet he chooses the one woman who falls for another man. You whore… how dare you do this to my cousin!" he slapped Isabel across the face. "I will do to you what Gregory would never do. I will do what will show you your place in the world. You are not free to do something so foolish as to meddle and hurt our bloodline. I will show you. And I will find great pleasure in doing so."

* * *

Entering the stage in the corner, I could hear Edmund telling her his story. Trying to explain his actions. Justify them. Make her realize just how horrible she truly was. So many nights I had spent with him doing the same thing to me before beating me, knocking me senseless... before taking me whatever way he pleased.

The gun against Isabel's head scared me. The last thing I wanted was to watch the one part of my life I truly can fix and save die before my eyes. My greatest failure performed in front of an audience of the largest political position and opulence.

"Any last words?" Edmund suggested, holding Isabel's head in place as she tried to turn her head.

"Yes," I watched as Isabel's eyes closed briefly to utter the words of a promise. "_Never knew I could feel like this._"

"Is that all?" Edmund laughed, completely lost in his scheme to see how close I truly was.

"_Come what may."_

Isabel sang softly before I leaped forward, pushing her out of the way before kicking Edmund in the one place that I could cause him similar pain to what he had introduced me to numerous times. Kneeling over in pain, I pulled the necklace off and held the large, pointed gem, cast in metal shaped like a sun with its bright flames, up high. Raising it skyward, I brought it down with the force of all the feelings from memories upon memories of Edmund's deeds. The pain he had brought to me. To those that I knew. To people that could not help falling in love.

All I could hear was the impact of the stone on Edmund's skull. Feel the pointed edge of a flame enter inside his flesh. See the small bit of blood that showed beneath the gash as the gem that had set me free from my internal pain was a quarter of the way smashed into the right side of Edmund's skull, freeing me from the core of all of my external pain.

What I had missed was the sound of Edmund shuffling when he saw what was to come. When he had grasped the gun firmly in his hands and pulled the trigger. The pain that would hit my stomach moments later after I had realized the extent of the act I had just performed in front of an audience.

Whether it was from the bleeding that was taking over or the shock that came from all that had happened in these last few minutes, I gave into the darkness for one last time in my life.


	43. Somewhere Out There

**AN: **A very short chapter, I know, but the next one is definately going to be a big one. Already written, just have to edit it and all of that wonderful jazz. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 43. Somewhere Out There**

Silence erupted after the gunshot. Heart pounding, the theatre was filled with the few minutes of silence in thought over what had occurred. Isabel got up, thinking of nothing but being in safety's grasp again.

"Christian!" Isabel ran into Christian's arms, crying hysterically. "I was so afraid. I… I… words cannot express the love I…"

"_Like I've never seen the sky before_," Christian sang in a whisper, holding Isabel tightly and letting her know that he, too, was feeling the same exact thing.

* * *

Back in her dressing room, Cecille rested on her bed, propped up on lacy pillows and surrounded by an ocean of flowers that was more than the usual. Bouquets littered her floor, surrounding her on an island of flowery.

The doctor had told her the news. After examination and the painful task of getting the bullet removed, he told her the news that this chance had allowed him to discover.

To never have children was a terrible thing. As incomprehensible as it was for her right now to imagine ever finding contentment in life again, let alone with someone else, the thought that children could always be a possibility was now lost. Her family bloodline would end with her. Her parents, when they found out the news, would be appalled enough, but the fact no heir would come for them…. that hey would never be grandparents… she might as well make the Moulin Rouge her permanent home.

She moved her arm to her neck and sighed when the necklace was not there. Although she would not be charged for the murder of Edmund as many witnesses vouched on her behalf for her innocence in the act of self-defense for her and everyone else in the theatre, government officials had confiscated her necklace. When she got her necklace back, if ever she did, she did not even know if she would wear it.

"What would it symbolize?" Cecille asked herself. "Gregory does not love me. It has been a month since the incident and I still lay in bed and still he does not come to me. Although Isabel is lost to him, he will never see past her to notice me. I will have admirers of all types of men within Paris, sending me enough flowers to give every person in all of France a bouquet and yet the one bouquet I might treasure will never come.

Sighing, Cecille brought her knees up to her chest, drawing up her blankets and wincing at the pain such an act paid on her stomach.

"_Somewhere out there,_

_Beneath the pale blue night." _(1)

Closing her eyes in her own thoughts, Cecille did not realize that back in his home, Gregory stood atop the balcony of his home, overlooking the garden and singing the same tune.

"_Someone's thinking of me,_

_And loving me tonight."_ (1)

Cecille folded her hands atop her knees, resting her head over them.

_"Somewhere out there,_

_Someone's saying a prayer,_

_Then we'll find one another,_

_In that big somewhere out there." _(1)

"Will someone ever love me?" Gregory laughed at the thought, touching the tuft of hair that had emerged from the bandages, soon to be removed,on his head that had been bleeding from his impact on the theatre floor. "I dream somewhere out there might."

He looked down at the water fountain as his thoughts filled with the woman who might be able to keep him in their heart and offer him their love in return for his.

"_And even though I know how very far apart we are,_

_It helps to think we might be wishing_

_On the same bright star,_

_And when the night will start to sing_

_A lonesome lullaby,_

_It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the _

_Same big sky." _(1)

"_Somewhere out there,_

_If love can see us through,_

_Then, we'll be together,_

_Somewhere out there, out where dreams, come true._

_And even though how very far apart we are,_

_It helps to think we might be wishing _

_On the same bright star,_

_And when the night will start to sing_

_A lonesome lullaby,_

_It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the _

_Same big sky." _(1)

Gregory closed his eyes, so taken over by his dreams of a woman loving him that he could have sworn he heard that very keeper of his heart singing back to him the same dream. Smiling to himself, he rested his hands on the banister and looked out at all of Paris as he finished the song of his dreams.

"_Somewhere out there,_

_If love can see us through,_

_Then, we'll be together,_

_Somewhere out there, out where dreams, come true." _(1)

* * *

1. James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt "Somewhere Out There" 


	44. I Finally Found Someone

**Chapter 44. I Finally Found Someone**

It was the day of reunion for everyone involved in the incident of a month and a day ago.

Cecille woke up and struggled to her feet, groaning at how used to she was at just laying down and having everything be done for her. Brushing her wispy silver-blonde hair, she pulled it back into the tightest chignon that she could muster and saw how much more lifted up her face appeared in her vanity mirror.

She had dressed for the evening in a silver dress, sleek and fitting to her curvaceous body seductively. If not for the pallor of her skin that seemed to be caused by the sorrow that now burdened her spirit, she would appear to be the usual temptress everyone in the Moulin Rouge expected her to be. Now, looking into her eyes, at how much the same she looked from before the production, Cecille felt as if the woman in the mirror was a completely different person.

"Cecille…"

She closed her eyes at the voice that she had near forgotten the past month. She could feel his presence, hesitating before slowly approaching her. Not quite able yet to face him, she knew one thing that would deter his proceeding steps.

"_When I think, how life used to be_

_Always walking in the shadows_

_Then I look at what you've given me_

_I feel like dancing on my tip-toes_

_I must say, everyday I wake_

_And realize you're by my side_

_I know I'm truly…" _(1)

Cecille hesitated briefly before proceeding on, knowing this was the moment when she would let it all be heard. She would never be able to face him any other way.

"_Blessed for everything you've given me_

_Blessed for all the tenderness you show_

_Do my best with every breath that's in me_

_Blessed, to make sure you never go." _(1)

She opened her eyes after finishing the words to see Gregory in her vanity mirror, a broken down man now staring at her reflection as she stared at his with eyes devoid of all feeling. He appeared so vulnerable, almost hesitant, as Cecille stood up and walked to face him.

"_There are times that I test your faith_

_'Til you think you might surrender_

_Baby I'm, I'm not ashamed to say_

_That my hopes were growing slender_

_You walked by in the nick of time_

_Looking like an answered prayer_

_You know I'm truly…_

_Blessed for everything you've given me_

_Blessed for all the tenderness you show_

_Do my best with every breath that's in me_

_Blessed, to make sure you never go_

_Blessed with love and understanding_

_Blessed when I hear you call my name_

_Do my best with faith that's never-ending_

_Blessed, to make sure you feel the same." _(1)

She had hoped that Gregory might respond to her, that he might show an ounce of joy at her declare or some sign that perhaps it might be possible for the dream she sought to come true. He only continued to stared at her further so that she continued with a passion to truly show him how much she cared.

"_Deep inside of me you fill me with your gentle touch_

_You know I'm truly…_

_Blessed for everything you've given me_

_Blessed for all the tenderness you show_

_Do my best with every breath that's in me_

_Blessed, to see you never go." _(1)

Finishing her song, she looked at him for a minute before realizing her anticipated reaction would not come. Not sure how to take it, she just turned and sat down at her vanity, hiding her face in her hands as she fought to bang her head against the counter of her vanity in the act that she believed was caused by her complete and utter stupidity and vulnerability.

"_I want your eyes to see my eyes_

_I want your lips to touch my lips_

_I want your love to be my love forever more._" (2)

Gregory walked towards her at the slowest pace imaginable, almost dragging his feet across the floorboards. He rested his hands on top of her shoulders, softly circling her exposed flesh with his fingers as he continued.

"_Can you find it in your heart to forgive me_

_I was thoughtless heaven knows I acted badly_

_But the love you once gave to me so gladly_

_Can you find it in your heart." _(2)

Cecille, keeping her eyes closed, moved her hands lower to only cover her mouth. She did not believe the words she heard, yet it rang truer as Gregory allowed his song to be heard further.

"_Can't we make another start, please forgive me_

_I'm repenting and your arms alone can save me_

_So if carelessly I lost the love you gave me_

_Can you find it in your heart." _(2)

Cecille felt tears in her throat but it had been so long since she had cried. Opening her dried eyes, she saw his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. His grip tightened when she moved one hand to rest atop one of his on her shoulder.

"_Day and night I want your eyes to see my eyes_

_I want your lips to touch my lips_

_I want your love to be my love forever more_

_And never never more to part." _(2)

She felt her head droop at her words, still doubting it and believing itto beonly deceit. A dream. Some fantasy that has finally became real as she reached the point of insanity.

"_Must you tell me that it's over, think it over_

_Though I once betrayed your love, forgive the treason_

_And my darling if your mind can't find the reason_

_Can you find it in your heart…_

_Can you find it in your heart." _(2)

Unconvinced, Cecille kept her head down so that Gregory felt he should continue to offer her reassurance of what it was he was now experiencing.

"_Rescue me from the mire, whisper words of desire_

_Rescue me- darling rescue me_

_With your arms open wide, want you here by my side_

_Come to me- darling rescue me_

_When this world's closing in_

_There's no need to pretend_

_Set me free- darling rescue me._" (3)

Gregory removed a hand to rest it atop hers that now held his remaining hand on her shoulder. Sandwiching her hand, he felt her satin skin and wondered how he could have ever touched her and not realized what was always standing before him.

"_I don't wanna let you go_

_So I'm standing in your way_

_I never needed anyone_

_Like I'm needin' you today_." (3)

Now he was the one waiting for a response and when there came none he had to proceed on to further assert himself and the feelings that were growing stronger every moment he stood there.

"_Do I have to say the words?_

_Do I have to tell the truth?_

_Do I have to shout it out?_

_Do I have to say a prayer?_

_Must I prove to you how good we are together?_

_Do I have to say the words?_

_Rescue me from despair, tell me you'll be there_

_Help me please- darlin' rescue me_

_Every dream that we share,_

_Every cross that we bear_

_Can't you see- darlin' rescue me." _(3)

Cecille closed her eyes now, shutting him out so that he sang to her desperately.

"_I don't wanna let you go_

_So I'm standing in your way_

_I never needed anyone_

_Like I'm needin' you today_

_Do I have to say the words?_

_Do I have to tell the truth?_

_Do I have to shout it out loud?_

_Do I have to say a prayer?_

_Must I prove to you how good we are together?_

_Do I have to say the words?_

_Yeah…_

_Do I have to say the words?_

_Do I have to tell the truth?_

_Do I have to shout it out loud?_

_Do I have to say a prayer?_

_Must I prove to you how good we are together?_

_Do I have to say the words?" _(3)

Softly fading his song away, he lowered his head, the emptiness of before settling in when Cecille did not respond. Cecille opened her eyes just in time to see his gesture and her grip on his bottom hand tighten.

"_When you're feeling lost in the night_

_When you feel your world just ain't right_

_Call on me, I will be waiting_

_Count on me, I will be there_

_Anytime the times get too tough_

_Anytime your best ain't enough_

_I'll be the one to make it better_

_I'll be there to protect you_

_See you through_

_I'll be there and there ain't nothing_

_I won't do." _(4)

Cecille pulled her hand free to turn around so she faced him. Grabbing his hands in either of hers, she moved on only when she saw a subtle smile appear on Gregory's face briefly.

"_I will cross the ocean for you_

_I will go and bring you the moon_

_I will be your hero, your strength_

_Anything you need_

_I will be the sun in your sky_

_I will light your way for all time_

_I promise you_

_For you I will."_ (4)

Gregory looked at her now, hope in his eyes, as Cecille pulled their hands up against her heart.

"_I will shield your heart from the rain_

_I will let no harm come your way_

_Oh, these arms will be your shelter_

_No, these arms won't let you down_

_If there is a mountain to move_

_I will move that mountain for you_

_I'm here for you, I'm here forever_

_I will be your fortress_

_Tall and strong_

_I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you_

_Right or wrong." _(4)

His smile was all she needed to bring the light back into her life.

_"I will cross the ocean for you_

_I will go and bring you the moon_

_I will be your hero, your strength_

_Anything you need_

_I will be the sun in your sky_

_I will light your way for all time_

_I promise you_

_For you I will." _(4)

Releasing him, Cecille got up to walk around her chair and face him, not stopping her song as she did so.

"_For you I will_

_Lay my life on the line_

_For you I will fight_

_For you I will die_

_With ev'ry breath, with all my soul_

_I'll give me word, I'll give it all_

_Put your faith in me_

_And I'll do anything." _(4)

She stopped now in front of him, looking up into his eyes.

"_I will cross the ocean for you_

_I will go and bring you the moon_

_I will be your hero, your strength_

_Anything you need_

_I will be the sun in your sky_

_I will light your way for all time_

_I promise you_

_For you I will_

_I will, I will, I will_

_I will cross the ocean for you_

_I will go and bring you the moon_

_I will be your hero, your strength_

_Anything you need_

_I will be the sun in your sky_

_I will light your way for all time_

_I promise you_

_For you I will_

_I promise you_

_For you I will_

_I promise you_

_For you I will." _(4)

"Cecille," Gregory rested his hand on her cheek. "_I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet. I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete." _(5)

"_We started off as children, we started out as friends._" Cecille smiled, leaning back her head when Gregory pulled out her chignon and ran his hands through her hair. "_It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin." _(5)

"_This time it's different, dah dah dah dah." _(5)

"_It's all because of you, dah dah dah dah."_ (5)

"_It's better than it's ever been. 'Cause we can talk it through." _(5)

"_Oohh, my favorite line was 'You're the sun in my life.' It's all you had to say to take my breath away." (5)_

Joining together, they grinned as they realized what had happened.

"_This is it, oh, I finally found someone_

_Someone to share my life_

_I finally found the one, to be with every night_

_'Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you_

_My life has just begun_

_I finally found someone, ooh, someone_

_I finally found someone, oooh." _(5)

Gregory framed Cecille's face in his hands, tracing her cheekbones with his fingers. Wanting to explore every inch of her.

"_Did I keep you waiting_

_I apologize, baby, that's fine_

_I love what you wear, isn't it the time?_

_You're exceptional, I can't wait for the rest of my life_

_This is it, oh, I finally found someone_

_Someone to share my life_

_I finally found the one, to be with every night_

_'Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you_

_My life has just begun_

_I finally found someone, ooh, someone_

_I finally found someone, oooh, _

_Whatever I do, it's just got to be you_

_My life has just begun_

_I finally found someone." _(5)

Wrapping his arms around her, Gregory kissed Cecille softly at first and then passionately, clinging to her with the need of being loved. It was only when he saw his reflection in the mirror, both their lips swollen from their kisses, that he wiped his mouth and realized there was dinner they still needed to attend. It was then that Cecille found the tears that she thought had dried up finally emerge.

Holding hands, they both left Cecille's room, ready to face the world with the one person that was constant in their life. The one person they could rely on and know would somehow be there. The one person who would hold their heart until the day they die.

* * *

1. Christina Aguilera "Blessed"

2. Tony Bennett "Can You Find It In Your Heart"

3. Bryan Adams "Do I Have To Say The Words"

4. Monica "For You I Will"

5. Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams "I Finally Found Someone"


	45. Confrontations With The Family

**Chapter 45. Confrontations With The Family**

A week had passed since Gregory and Cecille had announced their engagement. Seeing them together, both of them floating upon cloud nine for the first times in their life upon finding someone that loved them and wished to be with them forever, I could not be happier for either one of them.

The feeling of guilt over my actions towards being unfaithful to Gregory would probably remain with me until the day I die, but to realize that he had Cecille, who would love him in ways that I would never be able to, I know that everything that occurred happened for the best. Cecille finally received the love that she was destined to have since the day she met Gregory, and Gregory now understands that the one woman he had been searching for all his life had been with him all along.

"Mon amour," Christian kissed the side of my face as we sat in the carriage of a London street, awaiting our latest adventure. "I don't think I will ever grow tired of you. _Want to vanish inside your kiss. Every day I love you more and more._"

"I don't suppose that our host will find our actions very appropriate," I giggled. "We are not in the Moulin Rouge anymore, Christian."

"Pity," Christian grinned like a teenager contemplating doing something extremely wicked. "I could rather grow used to our habits of the Moulin Rouge by now."

"Enough," I pushed him away with a laugh. "This is entirely immoral for both of us. We are not even married yet."

"That sure has not stopped us before," Christian raised his eyebrows teasingly. "Especially last night in particular."

"Christian!" I gasped, hoping that the coachman did not hear all of our scandalous talk. "Just imagine the talk that will arise if every person in London becomes aware of everything that we engage in, just within a coach! Imagine what they would think of us outside of this!"

"I assume we will just have to wait to find out," Christian pulled me close to him, kissing me on the forehead. "Did I ever tell you how sweet you taste, _mon amour?_"

"I suppose so," I shrugged. "I might have forgotten all the past hundreds of times."

"Perhaps I will remind you more?" Christian hinted before we continued on with our affectionate actions within the compartment of our carriage.

* * *

Christian's home was a quaint home on a busy street of London. It was nestled between a few manors, making the seven bedroom housecomplete with a library, study, parlor, ballroom, music room, etc seem much smaller than it actually was.

Upon entering his home, I could smell the loftiness the lingered in the air, awaiting our arrival. Christian had explained to me that he had left his home on a terrible note, and so this came as no surprise to find one of the maids, startled by our sudden appearance.

"Christian!" she gasped, staring at him in bewilderment. "What brings you back here? Your father… he is not one to easily forget…"

"I know," Christian interrupted with a smile. "I have mailed my father about all that has occurred and my sudden arrival back in England. He is completely informed and is aware of our visit."

"Good luck then," the maid answered, giving us the sign of the cross before walking away down a corridor.

"So what do you think?" Christian asked me as we went up the stairs that allowed us to look down at the sitting room below us. "Can you picture me growing up in such an atmosphere?"

"No," I answered candidly. "It all seems far too… drab and dull… for your liking. I was picturing something more… lively."

And indeed his home evoked every shade of gray and brown there was to discover. So plain was the décor and completely bare of all ornamental tapestries, pictures, and statues, I felt as if I were sitting in a room designed for the deceased. As dull as salt and pepper, I clung to Christian, squeezing his hand, my one link to life in this house.

"I assume he is in his study," Christian grinned at the thought. "Father was always so studious, Isabel. When I was younger, my father's idea of a day out with me was taking me to his study to pick out a basket of books to read in the garden in the back."

"Better than being tugged around as your mother did what she well pleased with the world," I wrinkled my nose, remembering my childhood days at the Moulin Rouge. "Even as a child, I was exposed to the usual ordeals of the Moulin Rouge. I cannot believe I was surprised when I was sent to the Moulin Rouge after my mom's death. That should have been so obvious to me."

"As far as I'm concerned, you'll never have to go to the Moulin Rouge ever again." Christian promised, slowly opening up a door. "I am not sure how civil my father will act towards me, Isabel, but I am sure he will love you."

Looking into a great room, full of enough books to be a library for all of town, the armchairs that rested in front of a great fireplace remained empty. Perplexity came across Christian's face, who was convinced he would find his father seated either there or at his desk, enthralled in some book or new experiment. I wrapped an arm around him and kissed him lightly.

"Don't worry. He might just be out."

"Only because he knows that I am coming back today," Christian sighed. "He can be quite stubborn. He had his heart set on me not leaving for France."

"Well…" I trailed off to think of something as I locked arms with him. "…while your father is out, we should seize the opportunity for you to provide me with a tour of your house. I would like to see the place that inspired the man that I love when he was growing up."

"See the place that inspired me?" Christian grinned. "I know exactly the place to show you then."

Christian quickened our paces, tugging me along down a hallway with a grin that broadened with each step forward. Exhilaration flooded our blood and I felt my heart racing with just as much excitement as his in anticipation for what had him so full of gaiety.

"As a boy, there was always just one passion for me." Christian explained when we stopped in front of a set of double doors. "I guess it was because my only memory of my mother was of her singing to me. Maybe not. I guess I just wanted to do something my father did not want me to do. Maybe I just wanted to do it so I would never forget my mother… so my father would never either. I'm not exactly sure, but the moment my mother died when I was young, I realized I wanted to pursue music. I would spent hours upon hours practicing various instruments. Becoming knowledgeable on all types of music. Trying to train my voice to be as great as my mother's."

"I thought you were a writer," I said jokingly.

"I am," Christian grinned. "Music was a passion of mine, but my father had raised me to be a practical person… or at least tried to. I knew that I could not simply pursue music alone. I began to go to the family library and found several books of my mother's that were her favorites. After reading them, I began reading more and more from her section of the library. My father never questioned the material I was reading. He was just glad that I had set aside my music to pick up a book. The more I read books, the more of an impression they made upon me. Eventually I reached the point where I wished to become a writer as well, so that I might one day make the same impression these authors had made upon me. My father never saw it coming. The day I told him of my intentions to go abroad to write in Paris, my father laughed at me. He thought it was just some infatuation of mine. But as time progressed and I began to talk more and more openly of great love stories I had read... of how wonderful it would be to love and be loved in return, my father suddenly grew agitated with me. My dreams were finally becoming a reality before his eyes, and he grew displeased, not wanting to see the day his son would go away to France, of all places, and join the Bohemians to become some writer that he believed I was bound to fail as. I left after a long scolding of him about my infatuation with love. He thought I would just go to the Moulin Rouge and marry some cancan girl. I guess he wasright in a certain aspect, but I have been lucky. I have found love that no amount of books could express its complete greatness… not once… but twice."

"I believe you captured love in all its splendor in your story of the Moulin Rouge," I said. "Your story inspired my own longing for something better in life. Your own writing inspired my own."

"Your own?" Christian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "And what have you been up to, _mon amour?_"

"I, too, wrote my own story of the Moulin Rouge." I told him. "Perhaps not as great as your own. It is not a tragedy. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just an ordinary girl meeting an extraordinary man and they fall in love. I must show it to you later."

"Is it completed?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"When?" I giggled, patting his shoulder as I spoke. "Many nights I spent alone in the Moulin Rouge. You could not possibly believe I would be allowed to sleep when I was so filled with the wonderful reality that surrounded me. Every moment in the Moulin Rouge alone I stole away to wrote my story. Our story."

"You are the extraordinary one," Christian embraced me and kissed me before seizing my hand. "Bear with me now, Isabel. I have not been in this room for awhile now. I know not what is in store for us."

The music room was bright white and the entire exterior wall was composed of glass windows. Small shelves full of music rested against a wall. Lights hung from the ceiling, illuminating the room in eternal light. Black music notes trailed against the ivory of the walls like vines against an edifice in a pattern around the room. Instruments were laid out in various spots beside pure white sofas or armchairs.

So enchanting was the room it seemed as if music were playing in the air around us and I closed my eyes to the sweet melody. It was only when Christian's grip on my hand grew stronger and I heard the music come to an abrupt stop that I realized that it was not my imagination.

Opening my eyes, Christian and I entered. A grand piano, a glossy black that contrasted with the white of the room, rested in the corner in front of another great fireplace. At the piano bench sat an elderly man with peppered gray hair. His thick gray eyebrows were furrowed together as he stared at the keys his hands rested on. I could see his chest rising and falling as we approached and I walked in apprehension towards how this man would react towards our arrival.

"Father," it was surprising how erect the man became, stiffening at Christian's utterance of that one word. "Father… I'm back."

"I can see that," he mumbled, in what seemed like agitation or… disappointment?

"This is Isabel," Christian pushed me forward, wrapping his arms around me protectively. "She is my fiancé."

"Fiancé," the man almost coughed the word. "What have you been up to, Christian?"

"I… I have become a writer," Christian's voice became soft and meek, as a child cowering before his parent. "I wrote a story. A story every person in Paris declares the best love story in all of…"

"A _love _story!" his father spat, his hands leaving the keys to rub his forehead. "My boy… I thought you would have given up on such an infatuation."

"My departure to Paris only further strengthened that," Christian confirmed. "What is there to be ashamed of, father? Have I become that much of a disappointment to you?"

"A disappointment?" the man looked up at Christian, such sadness sitting within his eyes. "The only disappointment in my life is myself. I am only ashamed of myself."

"Of yourself?" Christian left my side to walk towards his father. "Look around you, father. What is there to be ashamed of? Your life has been a success. Everything around you has been brought about because you thrived. There is nothing to be ashamed of."

"The only success in my life just walked in the door today," he replied. "Not a day went by when I wished I could take you back, my boy. You reminded me so much of your mother. So wild and wanting to find all the greatness in life. I just did not want you sharing the same fate as she."

"It all turned out for the best, father." Christian reassured him. "I am back and we have made our peace, I suppose. There are no disappointments now."

"My boy," the man stood up and hugged Christian, patting him on the back sternly. "I have waited for you arrival ever since the day you left. You are all I have left in life worthwhile, Christian."

Happiness towards Christian's reconciliation with his father only reminded me further of my relationship with my mother. Not once had we shared such a heart-filled moment. Was there such a moment that my mother ever reminded me of her love for me? Shown me such tender compassion and love? I could not help feeling the sadness overcome the joy I felt for Christian at the time as I mourned for the kinship my mother and I failed to possess in our lives.

"Father," Christian directed his father towards me. "This is Isabel. As I already told you, she is my fiancé."

"She is quite a pretty gal, Christian." I offered him a smile to make me seem less drab. "Quite a load of freckles. Let's hope your children don't get near so many…"

"Isabel is the most beautiful woman in my life, father." Christian saw my past insecurities emerge when his father frankly expressed his opinion of my appearance. "I love every freckle… every spot of dust or cut or flaw that you might find."

"How did you both meet?"

"In the Moulin Rouge," I put forward, trying to exert myself forward to seem affable. "My Uncle owned the place and I was to stay there after my mother died. I ran into him on the streets."

"The… Moulin Rouge?" he turned to Christian, his anger becoming apparent. "I _knew_ you would find yourself some cancan girl… some…"

"Father," Christian set a hand on his shoulder and the old man immediately settled down. "Isabel only lived there. Not willingly."

"I am not a whore," I stated firmly, looking him straight in the eyes. "Contrary to most people's beliefs of every woman in the Moulin Rouge being some mistress for unruly men."

"I did not mean to offend…"

"I have heard worse," I smiled, showing him that the matter was over and no offense was taken.

"Come, come… let us hurry off downstairs." the man broke apart from Christian and scurried through the door. "Hurry. I will call one of the maids to send some tea down to the parlor… perhaps the garden… it seems like so long since I have entertained a guest. Come along now! We do not want the tea soon to come to be cold!"

Laughing over his father's merriment, Christian and I locked hands to follow him downstairs towards a bright future ahead, with a family- though small as it may be- that would welcome us with open arms and love.

* * *

**AN: **Not over quite yet. It is pretty close, but I am in no hurry to put an end to this romance. Hope you are all enjoying the story and don't find it too dreadful. Thank you so much to those devoted readers who had stuck through so far with this story. It means the world to me, truly madly deeply. Hope that you enjoy the next few chapters. I love you all! 


	46. The Sooner The Better

**AN: **A very short chapter, but I will make it up by posting two chapters today. I hope you all enjoy it. As Dom Dom pointed out, I would've ended the story at the previous chapter but there is still stuff I want to clarify with the characters and all that jazz. Plus, there's one more song that I want to use. 8-D Have fun! I love you all more than an empty printer cartridge loves Kleenex tissues that are in a swirly purple plastic wrap.

* * *

**Chapter 46. The Sooner The Better**

The first few days at Christian's home consisted of his father rambling on about how truly happy he was for the love Christian and I shared and the future that it promised. He did not allow us the time quite yet to explore the rest of town, for I had never left France, and the new environment was still quite enigmatic to me. Rather, we spent the days chatting about every topic imaginable as Christian's father gave us a tour of the house with all of the history imaginable from the day the floorboards have been nailed together to that exact moment we entered the room.

Now sitting in the garden, tea set before us as I rested on Christian's lap, holding hands with him while we watched his father and the maid sit on chairs opposite us, completely enthralled in a large stack of papers they held in their hands.

"Nervous?" Christian whispered, his breath tickling my ear.

"Just a tad," I breathed, trying to stop the fluttering in my stomach. "It is always going to be nerve-racking awaiting the critiques of something you wrote with your heart and soul. And that tickles, Christian."

"Really?" Christian brushed his lips over my ear now, causing my flesh to tingle at his touch. "How about now?"

"You are terrible," I giggled, unable to help myself. "Completely incorrigible."

"I love you," Christian replied innocently, plopping his head on my shoulder. "And you are beautiful, _mon amour."_

"Well…" I tried to keep a straight face when Christian proceeded to kiss the side of my neck as his father looked up and set down the stack of papers on the table. "What do you think?"

"It was beautiful," the maid sniffled, setting down Christian's story and looking up at us with tears still in her eyes. "I don't believe I have been this riled up over a story ever in my life. What you have is beautiful, young ones."

"I am pleased that at least one of the stories ended happily," his father remarked, looking over at Christian over his reading spectacles. "I am sorry for your loss, son."

"For every great thing lost, another great thing enters your life." Christian wrapped his arms around me, kissing me affectionately on the cheek. "I used to not believe that, but after meeting Isabel… after experiencing it with her.. I truly do."

"Can I… may I hug you both?"

The maid stood up, holding out her arms, as more tears came from her eyes. Such a sight this rotund lady appeared in her apron and cap as I walked into her arms. I could feel her tears soaking my dress and I patted her back, and laughed when her grip tightened.

"You are such a dear," she looked up at me and wiped her nose. "I never had a daughter before in my life, nor have I experience much of love, but after reading this... I now realize the true beauty of it all. You... Oh my… I believe I wish to hug you again!"

Now Christian and his father laughed along with me at the maid's softness towards me. After a few more hugs and praise from her, she walked off, wiping her eyes with her apron only to cry allthe harder. Christian's father laughed loudly at this sight and then shook his head in contentment as if he would not have had the moment occur any other way.

"Well…." Christian's father leaned forward. "I enjoyed both of your stories very well, and that is saying much from a bitter old man who has resented love ever since he was denied it by his wife's death. I can perhaps pull some strings with some powerful men within London and have your story approved for publishing by the end of the month. But, personally, I would think it best if you both were to combine your stories. It is so much more impacting, rather than leaving the story in tragedy after the first and then trying to recover it in the second. But, together, it makes a love story that ends happily and will leave such sappy women like Betsy completely satisfied and in tears of joy. So what do you two think? Combine the stories?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Christian answered in confidence, squeezing my hand. "Alone, we are only half of the potential… the true being. But… together… we complete one another. I do not believe I felt more whole before meeting Isabel."

"So to the publishing company, it is?" his father questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"To the publishing company it is," I told him, smiling in bliss at seeing my dreams of being a writer unfold before my eyes.

* * *

It was like sitting in the audience and watching my dreams come true. When Christian and I were interviewed by a publishing company for our book, it felt so surreal, I had begun pinching myself to remind myself this was no dream.. Or… perhaps… because I needed to remind myself what it felt like to hurt and be hurt. The couples I used to glare at with hatred that I now realize as jealousy I watched myself slowly become with Christian.

Our public shows of affection, no matter how inappropriate at times when Christian would lift me up in his arms and kiss me until we were gasping for air as we stopped traffic in the middle of the street, were reason for scandal in the town and yet people only shook their heads and told everyone we were just the love-sick fools from France and peoplesuddenly understand,as if the fact that we were in love and were from France would suddenly make everything we were doing suddenly understandable.

As ignorant as the people were to our actions, Christian and I could care less of the public opinion. We thrived upon being together. Every moment was cherished for we both knew and realized how we could lose that love in one moment… one blink of an eye… one moment apart that would allow some other force of nature to come and attempt to tear us apart. Apart from one another, we were a broken piece of a priceless gem, but together we completed one another and made us whole.

Walking down the street hand in hand, Christian twirled me around at the corner and kissed me, running his hands through my hair before deepening the kiss further.

"When's the wedding?" a passerby commented upon seeing us.

"The wedding?" we broke apart and looked at one another before gazing at the person with wide-eyes. "Well…"

"I never thought about it," Christian confessed with a laugh.

"Neither did I," I told the passerby. "I always considered us together."

"Well… be sure to invite me," the passerby remarked. "I would like to see you both act like that at the altar."

"What a thought!" I giggled. "Can you _imagine_, Christian?"

"I imagine only being with you, _mon amour._" Christian kissed me again before we walked on, swinging our hands. "Do you suppose we will have the wedding soon?"

"I suppose so," I said as offhandedly as he. "I guess we look indecent enough doing what we do in public without our vows being said. Perhaps being married will make it all that more decent."

"Either way, it won't stop me from showing the world how much I love you," Christian remarked, leaning me back and kissing me again. "A week sound good to you?"

"This weekend?" I said.

"You just have to say the word."

"The sooner the better."


	47. A Queer Little Man With A Big Heart

**Chapter 47. A Queer Little Man With A Big Heart**

So the wedding preparations began.

Christian and I spent our days locked in a room together, trying on our wedding outfits and making sure we both agreed on what we would wear. Giggling when I set the veil on Christian's head before lifting it and kissing it, Christian dragged me to the floor atop a mound of discarded dresses and suits.

"Are you both decent?" Christian's father knocked, making us look up briefly so that Christian could tell his father to enter. "Dear Lord, Christian… could you have told me you weren't decent so that I could leave you both alone!"

"I don't believe anything we are doing is indecent," Christian told his father innocently.

"I didn't raise you to be like that," Christian's father said sternly.

"It was something I learned in Paris," Christian grinned, kissing me in-between words. "When you find something that you love, cherish it every moment of your life."

"You are a love struck fool if ever I saw one," Christian's father chuckled. "And I suppose you are just fine with that."

"Couldn't be happier."

"I can see that."

"I think that we will have picked out a dress and suit by the end of the day," I piped in, letting my presence be known as well.

"If you both give yourselves time to put your clothes on, rather than undress."

"Really father," Christian helped me up and dusted off the front of my dress. "To think that you would accuse of Isabel and myself engaging in such…"

"I was young once too, my boy." he reminded, laughing. "Your mother and me…"

"Alright…" Christian turned, whispering to me. "This is certainly something that I do not want my father to share with me."

"I love you both so much," I laughed, seeing Christian go red to the face at his father's talk of intimacy with his deceased wife. "And I cannot believe you would think anything scandalous after all that we have engaged in."

"Scandalous?" Christian forgot his father's talk. "What you and me have is certainly not scandalous. It is beautiful."

"You and your eloquence."

"I can't help it," Christian ran his hands through my hair, looking me in the eyes in a way that made my heart flutter more than our kisses. "You just have to be so beautiful."

* * *

"Have you heard the news?" Cecille called in the room next to hers where a doorway was open for her voice to carry through. "Isabel and Christian are going to be married in a few days! We are invited, as you've already guessed. Perhaps we should go?"

"Of course, _ma belle._" Gregory walked through the door, fumbling with his tie. "What kind of friend would we be, to leave them both at the altar alone. Imagine what they might do if we were not there to supervise!"

"I believe it," Cecille laughed, reaching out for Gregory's tie and playing with it with her fingers. "I always preferred you without a tie. You always looked too pressed and polished in one."

"Then no tie it is," Gregory grinned, pulling it off and tossing it aside.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Cecille looked up into his eyes, not asking for anything except to just be held in his arms, knowing that they both held their world right then and there. One hand raised to toy with one of his curls, and Gregory only grinned at her, as content as a man could possibly be.

"I love you," Gregory whispered, closing his eyes when he kissed her tenderly.

"Hard to believe that we spent all of our life together and are only now realizing this," Cecille laughed, although a knot in her stomach knew that was only a half-truth.

"I cannot believe I did not love you until now." Gregory said. "But, suppose I really did love you all this time as you have, Cecille, and that it just took me until now to understand that what I felt was truly love. Could that be?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Cecille remarked, kissing him roughly. "Because we're together now."

And that was the truth.

* * *

"Have you heard of the news?" Claudia, a robust woman with an abnormally sharp nose, approached Giselle during rehearsals for a new production in which Giselle was now the star.

"What news?" ever since the production, Giselle had been far more irritable, snapping every time she was acknowledged.

"So you don't know?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't waste my time humoring you."

"Well… you see…." Claudia stopped short when a tiny man burst into the theatre, a letter in his hands as he flailed his arms out insanely, cheering at the top of his lungs.

"Everyone!" Toulouse practically laughed the words and everyone stared at him in surprise that such a small man was able to make his voice so loud. "Christian and Isabel are going to be married this weekend!"

Cheers rang through the theatre, the applause for the love story that had failed to finish during the production. As people embraced in celebration, Giselle walked off stage to sit in a chair that was shadowed by the stage.

Her brooding caused no shock for Giselle was always in an unusually bitter mood, but no one realized that this was the cause of a long-developed anxiety that had plagued her ever since she had worked in the Moulin Rouge, unable to ever become the star… always brooding in the shadows as everyone praised the star… the Sparkling Diamond… every other woman to enter the Moulin Rouge except herself.

Toulouse, turning, was much in tune with emotions and the essence of human feelings. He thrived upon it. It did not take him long to notice Giselle in the shadows of the theatre, enveloped in a sadness that he could sense even from the distance that he stood.

"What is wrong, mademoiselle?" Toulouse inquired, bowing down when he came to face her. "Anything that I may be of service to?"

"Oh bother!" Giselle snorted, turning to avoid him. "I do not need your pity, little man."

"Your spirits are smaller than I," Toulouse moved so that he faced her again. "Though I am a little man, I have a big heart, mademoiselle. I can tell when a lady is not happy, and I simply cannot let that happen."

"There is nothing you can do for me to make me happy," Giselle wiped her nose, her eyebrows furrowed as she fought the sadness that had been making her tremble ever since that night.

"You are right," Giselle looked up at him, surprised at his reply. "The only person that can make you happy is yourself."

"Why must you bother me!" Giselle cried desperately, cringing when a few eyes came her way from the stage, and immediately lowering her voice. "I will never find such happiness again when I live in misery."

"What came to make you say such a thing, mademoiselle?"

"What?" Giselle allowed a few tears to roll down her cheeks that burned from the tears that had yet to leave. "I have spent all of my life wishing to be the star. To have people think of me as more than a whore. But it never happened. I might be the star now, but what does it matter? I am only the star because of Cecille,and I did not even pull through with her plans. I was going to murder someone that Christian loved. Someone that I might possibly have liked, if given the chance. What use is life and pursuing happiness if the only thing that surrounds me is such misery?"

"Perhaps there is much that needs to be cleared with your conscience?" Toulouse suggested. "I believe that if you went to the wedding, you might be able to finally be happy, mademoiselle."

"I doubt it."

"But why?"

"Because everyone hates me," Giselle grumbled. "And for good reason."

"Forgiveness is a great virtue," Toulouse said. "But I believe it is a virtue that everyone possesses, if they are willing to admit it. I do not believe those you think of are one of those ignorant people who do not believe this, mademoiselle."

"I would," Giselle's frown deepened. "But my way of living doesn't have me swimming in riches. I could never afford to go anywhere outside of the Moulin Rouge."

"I may be of assistance. Perhaps I could fund your trip?"

"Why would you do that?" Giselle's defense came up, allowing her bitterness to show as she spat venom. "I don't know you. You almost died that night because of me. What reason have you to go and help me, of all people?"

"Because a big man would be a gentleman and help a lady in need," Toulouse bowed. "And because everyone deserves happiness, mademoiselle."

"You are a queer little man," Giselle remarked and Toulouse almost gave up until he saw a smile come to her face. "But I believe you are right when you say you have a big heart."


	48. To Want More

**Chapter 48. To Want More**

The gardens of Christian's childhood were filled with lace and ribbons, colorful flower arrangements in large vases, and such decorations that it seemed as if we were decorating for some grandiose palace designed for royalty. Never in my life had I experienced such anxiousness, walking down the aisle with Christian's father, who said I was just as much his child as Christian.

After much hours of contemplation, I decided that a simple white gown that bore no ribbons… no lace… no long trails of ornamental bits and pieces to make it seem elaborate… would be the perfect gown. It was plain like myself, and yet gorgeous in its own way that I acknowledge and appreciated. A glossy surface like that of a pearl, the gown clung to my body and a small train followed at the waist, slightly dragging across the floor. My hair was down and straight as a board, and yet I felt prettier with my hair untouched, with only a white lily resting behind my ear, than the numerous hairstyles of curls that Cecille would spend several hours perfecting.

For the first time in awhile, I truly felt like I was the same girl I was before I entered the Moulin Rouge, and how sweet it was to be in my own skin again!

Grasping Christian's hand, I felt complete. It mattered not that the garden was filled with people that had traveled far and wide to see us be married. Christian wore a suit of the same material, and I laughed, realizing it was the first time I had truly seen Christian dress up.

As words that sealed our fate together were said, Christian and I looked at one another, squeezing our hands tightly as we anticipated the time we would finally be able to leave and continue the life we had begun, only now as husband and wife. All of the memories of the past, our meetings and trials and moments of tenderness together came flashing back through my eyes, all of them events that led up to this moment... standing here with our hands clasped ready to spend the rest of our lives together.

The pastor gave us our blessings as we kissed one another. Christian held me tightly as he twirled me around, not hesitating to break away. Smiling, I moved my hands to his hair, ruffling it up as I kissed him harder. Applause followed and some laughter at the fact that we had yet to break apart.

"That is the way to kiss him, honey!" Cecille cheered, causing more applause. "You show the world how much you love that man!"

"I can always feel safe, knowing I have you to make my day." Gregory commented before he, too, kissed the woman that he now loved.

"_Come what may,"_ Christian grinned when we broke apart, out of breath.

"Come what may," I whispered back, grinning to the point it almost hurt as I jumped into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck.

And, just like that, the promise of our future was sealed.

* * *

Giselle hesitated in the last row while she watched Isabel talk away with Cecille. The two women, both completely breathtaking in her eyes, had their love's hand resting tenderly on their shoulder as they watched them talk, not wanting to be anywhere else but at their side.

How much envy pulsed through her being when Giselle looked at Isabel. She carried herself in a way the young lady she had been when she first arrived at the Moulin Rouge had not. Finding her legs, Giselle slowly walked over, the first time she had allowed her nerves to get to her.

"My petite," Toulouse laughed. "I am so happy for you!"

Giselle hesitated when Toulouse entered the group as more happiness exerted itself. She did not want to enter and destroy the joy that surrounded them all.

"Isabel…" Giselle tried to look deadpan when her heart began to race at everyone's face turning to her. "May I have a word?"

"I suppose," Isabel turned to Christian and planted a kiss on his cheek. Christian, obviously unsatisfied, pulled her to him and kissed her hard before allowing her to depart. "What is it you must tell me?"

"Forgiveness," Giselle bit her lip, apologies one of the most foreign experiences she has undergone. "Isabel… you know everything that happened that night at the performance. I was supposed to kill you. I couldn't do it. I am sorry I ever agreed to do it."

"But you didn't do it," Isabel answered slowly.

"I couldn't."

"If anything, I probably should be apologizing for not telling you my thanks sooner," Isabel hugged Giselle and smiled. "We are not the closest people, Giselle, but I _do _owe you something."

"I don't need anything," Giselle replied sternly.

"You are always welcome with Christian and me."

"That especially. I will never go back to London."

"You know, I would help you… if you need help in Paris…"

"I don't need help," Giselle said, her defense going up once more. "I came here to apologize and wish you a great future with Christian. That is all. I did not come here in need of assistance. Have a good life with Christian."

Walking off, Giselle could almost see Isabel shrug and join her husband, who rained her with kisses at her arrival. Heading towards the exit, a dread for returning to Paris… joining the Moulin Rouge to pursue an acting career she no longer had a desire for suddenly came and took hold of her. Shuddering at the gloomy future ahead of her as she held her hand on the door of Christian's home, ready to leave, her shaking stopped when a warm hand came upon her shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Toulouse inquired. "The wedding is not over yet."

"For me it is," Giselle remarked roughly, opening the door and walking through it.

"Are you happy now, mademoiselle?"

"Why would I be?" Giselle spat. "What use had I of coming? I come here, only to see the happiness of every person except myself, only to return to Paris and join a life that I used to long for but now despise."

"Why would you despise it?"

"Because," Giselle sat down on a chair in the hall of Christian's house. "I hate the Moulin Rouge. I hate the life I have. I want more."

"What is it that you need more of in your life, mademoiselle?"

"I want what Christian and Isabel had," Giselle admitted softly. "What Cecille and Gregory have finally have."

"And what is that?"

"I don't know," Giselle snapped defensively. "I just don't want to be alone anymore. I've always been."

"You know, you do not have to be alone."

"But I am destined to be."

"No one is destined to be alone."

"I am."

"Mademoiselle," Toulouse grabbed Giselle's hands, and she looked up, almost laughing because Toulouse was barely taller than she, although he was not sitting down. "Let me prove you wrong."

"How can you do that?"

"By taking you to Paris and allowing me to introduce you to my friends!" Toulouse suggested. "We will introduce you to all of our Bohemian ideals. Truth. Beauty. Freedom. Love. It will be magnificent! Superb! You will love it!"

"Love…" Giselle breathed the word. "Why are you doing this still? I will never understand why you would so willingly help me."

"Because I owe you, too, for saving Isabel and Christian. Without Isabel, Christian would be ruined, and Isabel would be lost. The guilt for Cecille would destroy her, and by doing what you did, you let her find true happiness as well." Toulouse explained simply. "I think you deserve the same happiness."

"May I ask you a question?"

"I think you just did."

"Yes, I did." Giselle laughed and startled herself. "What I mean is… when will we go back to Paris?"

"Whenever you want, mademoiselle."

"Is right now a bad time?"

"It is the perfect time," Toulouse smiled and, locking arms with Giselle, walked out to find the fastest trip back to Paris.


	49. Contentment

**AN: **A very short chapter again, I know, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. One more chapter left. You are all the wind beneath my wings! Especially when you review!

* * *

**Chapter 49. Contentment**

Slow songs began.

I held my breath when, during dinner, I saw the maids and hired hands for the day begin lighting up candles at a rapid pace. Now, being helped to my feet by Christian, I felt as if stuck in some magical place to find the garden that we sat in to be filled with a slight illumination.

Every bush, tree, and plant was filled with small candles, all lighted up to cast a hazy light across the garden, as if stuck in this permanent, enchanting light. A slow, sultry melody was being played as Christian twirled me around, ready to dance the rest of the evening away. Resting my head against his chest, I smiled at hearing his beating heart. How much more perfect could the day get?

My eyes diverted to Cecille and Gregory. Though engaged, they were in no exact rush to get married. Cecille, her unreserved personality shining through, had her and Gregory prancing about as her laughter became almost as loud as the music that filled the air. Never had I seen her so completely happy as she did now, knowing that Gregory finally loved her.

It was surprising how time brought us all together. Though many people that danced around us were complete strangers, it seemed as if Christian and I were dancing alone alongside Cecille and Gregory. In the span of time we have spent together, we have already undergone more than most people will ever experience in a lifetime, and all because my mother had decided to send me to the Moulin Rouge until my eighteenth birthday. Although I did not want to fully admit it back then, it is because of my mother that I now have what is present in my life today.

"What are you thinking about?" Christian asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful song that had enchanted all of the dancing couples around us. "Anything… improper?"

"I was thinking of my mother," I answered. "All that I have is because of her. I just wonder if my mother realized what her actions might produce by her sending me to live with Ziddler."

"Don't trouble yourself, _mon amour_." Christian kissed my forehead. "Whatever reasons your mother had for sending you to the Moulin Rouge, I am sure she will be happy to find you so much in rapture."

"Only because I met you."

"And I you."

"Don't ever let me go," I told him, closing my eyes to the steady beat of his heart.

"I never intend to."

Hearing his reassuring words, I sighed in contentment.

* * *

"Look at that," Cecille laughed, seeing her best friend almost falling asleep in Christian's arms. "She sure is something, isn't she?"

"She has certainly changed so much since I first met her." Gregory admitted.

"She is coming out of her shell," Cecille grinned. "And I think today is truly the first time she has done it."

"She's never looked happier."

"Neither have you," Cecille teased, a hand fumbling with his tie again.

"That is because I have you in my arms," Gregory responded, helding her discard his tie.

"You know exactly what to say to make my day." Cecille kissed him. "I love you."

"And I love you," Gregory smiled, picking up Cecille in his arms.

"You swept me off my feet, sir!" Cecille exclaimed, giggling. "How romantic. Especially because every single person is now staring at us."

"We are from France," Gregory shrugged. "That should be explanation enough."

"As Isabel says," Cecille waved to the crowd's stares as Gregory and her kissed, which had everyone stop dancing to behold the couple that did not want to waste a moment of their time together. "Being French and in love is reason enough for us to show the world how much we love one another."

"Perhaps we need to find a more private facility?" Gregory suggested, putting Cecille on the ground and holding her hand. "Before we end up doing something that we will not be able to excuse."

"I accept your invitation, monsieur…" Cecille grinned wickedly as they ran off to their room.


	50. I've Had The Time Of My Life

**AN: **Last chapter for you guys to read, and hopefully review. If not on the chapter, than the story overall. It would help so much and make my day suddenly brighter. Thank you so much for investing your time in reading my story, and I hope you all enjoyed it.

* * *

**Chapter 50. I've Had The Time Of My Life**

Christian awoke to find himself alone in bed. It was early in the morning, and night was still casting its darkness around all of London. Worry came to his mind to find his love gone, though her spot of the bed was still warm from her presence. Slipping on a shirt, he left his room in pursuit of her.

Isabel stood in the middle of the garden, watching a few candles that were still dancing, fading away. She had wrapped a white satin robe around her, and held out her hands to the flame, trying to grasp the remains of the previous day that had truly been the best day of her life.

"_Now I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

_'Cause I've had the time of my life_

_And I owe it all to you."_ (1)

Christian sang to let Isabel know of his presence. When she turned, all smiles, he held out his arms, grinning innocently at her for disturbing the peace that was still in the garden moments before he had entered it.

"_I've been waiting for so long_

_Now I've finally found someone_

_To stand by me_

_We saw the writing on the wall_

_As we felt this magical_

_Fantasy." _(1)

Running into his arms with a kiss, Christian and her walked over to the candles together, singing their song together.

"_Now with passion in our eyes_

_There's no way we could disguise it_

_Secretly_

_So we take each other's hand_

_'Cause we seem to understand_

_The urgency just remember_

_You're the one thing_

_I can't get enough of_

_So I'll tell you something_

_This could be love because_

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you." _(1)

"Can you believe that it's over," Isabel sighed, her head on Christian's shoulder. "That all of it is done with and we are together?"

"No," Christian shook his head. "We are together and it has only just begun."

"_With my body and soul_

_I want you more than you'll ever know_

_So we'll just let it go_

_Don't be afraid to lose control_

_Yes I know what's on your mind_

_When you say, 'Stay with my tonight'_

_Just remember_

_You're the one thing_

_I can't get enough of_

_So I'll tell you something_

_This could be love because_

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you." _(1)

With nothing holding them back, Christian and Isabel each grabbed a candle whose fire still remained and walked back inside to their bed and the future together that they both had been waiting for all their life. Once again, both of them knew that they had never knew they could feel like this.

Long after those candles died out and their light was extinguished, the flame of their love remained, never to be put out.

* * *

1. Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes "I Had The Time Of My Life"

* * *

**AN: **So my second fanfic comes to an end. I hope that you all enjoyed it. I will be soon starting a third fanfic in the Lurlene McDaniel section of Books. Feel free to check that out once I post the first chapter up. Much thanks to my devoted readers and reviewers. 

**Dom Dom**, I love you so much and it is because of you that I was able to write this story at all and post it for other people to read and enjoy. If you all truly enjoyed my story, you have her to thank for it because if she had not introduced me to this site, I never would have wrote this story. Thank you so much for everything, and I cannot wait to find out what happens with your story. I love you more than a library card loves a yellow thumb tac.

**Modesty**, darling, your devotion to reading and reviewing has motivated me at times to continue, when I was stuck in ambivalence over whether or not I wanted to continue this story. You devotion kept me going so much. Thank youastronomically for your support and devotion throughout the entire writing of this story.Words cannot express how glad I am to have a truent reviewer like you. You are completely and utterly awesome, and I love you for being so great like that. I live for your reviews now. Thanks again!

**xwolfyx**, I am glad that you enjoy my writing. It is so great to know that people are reading something you invested your time in and that they truly love it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.Your support is fantastic.I am so happy that I have people that are reading this and actually enjoying it. You are forever completely awesome in my eyes.

**Roxyfoxychick**... glad that you loved my beginning. Hope you find the rest exciting as well.

**Nevlothiel**, it is completely great that you like my story and the songs I put into it. It was so much fun figuring out which songs to put into it because I absolutely love love songs and this provided me with an opportunity to incorporate them all into a story.

**Dreamingmaggie**, it is wonderful that you had a good time reading this story. I am sorry I left you in the dark sometimes when I did not update as often as I would like to. Hope that I did not disappoint you too much in my delay.

**Amin Caele Nir' Eredfuumelar**, I really do appreciate your criticisms and the fact that you invested some time in telling me what you think. It helps to know what readers think of your writing.

**Cucu4cocopuffs**, thank you for your review. It was sweet and made me smile.

**SpiritWell**, I truly do hope that you enjoyed my story. Glad that I pulled it together eventually. 8D Thank you as well for your review on my first fanfic. I hope that you enjoyed that story as well. Thank you for reading both of my stories!

**Kowitall**, your review made me laugh. Thank you for making my day suddenly brighter. Thanks for your other reviews as well. Many smiles your way.

**Sheridan**, aka **MidnightRequiem**, the Phantom is definately a sexy man beast and I love that song too. Hehehe.

**Littlelottie**, thank you for your praise. Thanks for pointing out my French and correcting some of it, that way I could fix it.

**Elbereth Telemnar**, thank you as well for your praise. Reviews like that keep me going.

**Dreamaria**, thanks for your criticisms. Critiques always help.

**Elf Maiden-Peniel**, interesting is fun. I like interesting. 8-D It is awesome that you liked my introduction. Hope you liked the rest as well.

**SoSickOfReality**, happy you thought my story sweet from the beginning. Hope that it lasted throughout the rest of it.

**I heart coffee**, thank you for your reviews. Thanks for your props. You were my first review, and it was so exciting to get a review from someone. You certainly made my day when I received it!

**Carol Stevenson**, thanks for your review. Moulin Rouge is one of my favorite movies in the world as well.

**Chelin, **thanks for your praise on those chapters. Very sweet of you. It is exhilarating to know that people really enjoy reading your writing. Thanks!

**Charlotte Temples,** it is simply superb that you liked my story and found it romantic. Glad I was able to captivate you as you read in ambivalence over whether or not Isabel would die, although there were moments I was seriously considering it. But, in the end, I was able to somehow pull this ending off, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it.


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